SMOSH AGAINST TIME: The Epic Conclusion (Book Three)
by MiGZ21
Summary: The Third and FINAL Book of the 'SMOSH INTO TIME' TRILOGY. Their first interference with the past has caused a ripple effect, creating more problems in the timeline and drastically changing their present: a world in which a sinister villain had taken over Smosh's parent company, Alloy Digital. And his first order was: Capture every smosh character. They're the last hope.
1. Intro Part 3: THE SMOSHTASTIC BATTLE

**SMOSH AGAINST TIME: The Epic Conclusion**

**_They were supposed to be peacefully celebrating Ian's birthday party, not on the run. Their first interference with the past has caused a ripple effect, creating even more problems in the timeline therefore drastically changing their present: a world in which a sinister villain had taken over Smosh's parent company, Alloy Digital. And his first order was: Capture every smosh character._**

**_They're the last hope, everyone is held captive._**

**_Ian and Anthony along with a handful of others must band together to fight against the empire, reclaim the company and race against time to prevent the space-time continuum from falling apart in this epic and concluding chapter of the SMOSH into TIME Trilogy._**

**_PREPARE FOR THE BATTLE OF SMOSH._**

* * *

**_THE FINAL CHAPTER BEGINS NOW._**

A DIRECT FOLLOW-UP TO 'SMOSH INTO TIME' and 'SMOSH THROUGH TIME'

Everyone in the Smosh cast is in trouble, they are being hunted down, and their only hope is Ian and Anthony along with a handful of others.

**Will they be able to save the others?**

**Will Ian and Anthony finally be able to celebrate Ian's birthday properly? 'Cause, they're kinda pissed off that they were interrupted twice in doing so.**

**Will Ian ever learn his lesson not to flush toilets he didn't use? (He probably won't)**

Please don't skip 'SMOSH into TIME' and 'SMOSH through TIME', or else you won't be able to understand what the frick's going on here. And since it's the final book, prepare for THE BATTLE OF SMOSH!

EVEN MORE characters will be joining the spotlight!

-Migz


	2. Chapter One: Smosh on the Run

**Ian Hecox**

All we wanted when we get home was a comfy warm bed waiting for us, drinking hot coco by the fireplace and talking about poop jokes and girls. But no, we got some creepy-ass goons chasing us and now we're on the run from our own parent company with no specific reason, only being told that they turned against us. _How? Why? _

C'mon give us a break, it's my friggin' birthday for crying out loud, we've been through two mind-numbing and borderline confusing adventures, and this is our welcome home gift? Perfect.

It was nighttime, I could hardly see where we're driving, there were only vague shapes of houses and the lights coming from them, the lamp posts and the cars. Link kept driving away from our house; I glanced at it and watched it grow smaller, we should've been in there right now settling down but there are these idiots that want to get us.

The guys in black stepped out of the house, coughing and fanning away the smoke, "Search the place! They couldn't have gotten that far away!" The man looked at our car but the heavily tinted windows and the darkness of the night concealed us... I hope.

"Get down, Ian!" Link said, reaching his hand out to me then pushing me down the backseat, hiding from the goons' view. I dove down the backseat with Anthony and we ended up lying down with his ass near my face and his head near my crotch, it was awkward.

"Please don't get a boner." Anthony blurted out.  
"Don't do anything hot that'll turn me on." I joked, "—please don't fart."

"So another adventure unfolds." My friend whispered.  
"I suppose so."

"So, who do you think is behind it this time?" Anthony asked.

"I don't know, but I hope it gets revealed sooner, last time it took a little longer to reveal who was the bad guy."

"True." He sighed. We laid there in the backseat for a good thirty minutes. I just stared up on the car's ceiling, deep in thought.

_ Why did Link say that Alloy Digital had turned against us? _

Out of nowhere, Anthony farted. "Can we sit up now? Anthony's really gassy." I said. Anthony grunted followed by another fart, "Really, man?!" I screamed, the foul smelling odor tormented my nostrils.

"Those prunes and beans I ate made my gastric juice go out of whack." My friend apologized.

"Yeah, those farts definitely smelled like prunes." I said, in the verge of vomiting. "Hey Link! Can I sit up now?"

"Yeah, you were in the clear fifteen minutes ago." Link snickered.

"What?!" I bolted up from my seat, "Then why didn't you tell us earlier?" I hissed.

"I don't wanna disturb your sleep, and you look so adorable there." Link confessed.

"Ha, ha, very funny." I flatly mocked, "He's been farting in my face the whole trip!"

Link just laughed then I pushed Anthony to sitting up, "Now, would you mind telling us why we're running from Alloy Digital?" Anthony asked.

"I was only told to pick you guys up from your house as the rest will be explained by our 'Leader'." He narrated "—I arrived there a little late so I had to surprise them with a smoke bomb and I pulled you out."

"What leader?"

"—of The Rebellion." That word sounds familiar.  
"What the hell is this?! _Star Wars_?!" I ranted, "And what do you call the bad guys? The Empire?"

"Yes." Link said in a small, mouse-like tone.

"How unoriginal." I sighed then folded my arms.

_ Really? He had to rip off Star Wars._

Link drove along a wide road then smoothly merged with the busy traffic. A lengthy waiting in the traffic later, we found ourselves along a quiet suburban area, where houses stood on either side of the road.

Our driver stopped by a house, nearly identical to our Smosh house only it was colored cream, unlike our sky blue house. Link took out a flashlight, turned it on and beamed it at the window. The house's big brown garage door creaked open, allowing access inside. We drove in parking in one of the spots as the garage door closed, sealing us inside and engulfing us in almost total darkness.

"We're here." Link stepped out of the car and we followed. He led us to a white door that stood out in the dimness of the garage.

"Where are we?" Anthony asked.

"You'll find out sooner." The elf said. He knocked on the door three times, each with a different tone.

The door opened, letting the light in the dark garage.

A tall hooded figure blocked our way, in his hand an axe. "Ian and Anthony?" The figure said in a dark tone, making Anthony jump on my arms. He ended up being carried bridal style.

"W-who a-are you?" I was also scared.

"I am Death." He said. Anthony squealed like a girl.

"Quit it, man." Link said, flipping the light switch on, fully lighting the place and revealing the mysterious figure: A man in a white hood with the inside of the hood was blue, dressed in medieval clothes. Lean built, brown belt hanging from his shoulder across his chest, inner clothing was blue. A familiar insignia was on the top of his hood: _The Assassin's Insignia_

And the axe on his hand wasn't just an ordinary axe, it was a _Tomahawk._

"Connor!" I shrieked, "You dick." I dropped Anthony on the ground.

"Got ya!" Connor laughed.

"You're here too?" Anthony stood up.

"Of course." He replied "—Cause I'm not there, duh!" He joke and I sighed.

"Would you let us in?" Link cut the conversation short.

"Oh yeah, come right in." Connor motioned us to get inside. The door shut behind us, we were standing in front of a quiet hallway with three doors on each side and one door at the far end. To our left was another hallway with the same looks as the one in front. White shiny tiles were under our feet, the walls were painted cream like the outside while the doors were painted mahogany.

"Okay, now that we're here, where is this _'Leader of the Rebellion' _you're talking about?" I asked Link.

"Right this way." Connor led us to the door at the far end of the hallway. His hand reached for the knob and turned it slowly, he glanced at us as he turned it slower. We all looked at the knob as he turned it even slower.

"Godammit Connor! Just let us in!" Link shoved Connor away then pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit by a small light bulb at the center. It was a big conference room with a long table with four big soft office chairs on each side and one at the very end. There was only light shining at the farthest chair which happened to be turned back.

"Who's there?" A raspy British voice said from behind the chair.

"It's Link." The elf said firmly.

"Link, how did your task go?" He asked.

"I think I did well, saved them from the goons." _We were almost knocked out by them, you say you did well?!_

"Were you followed?" His voice rose.

"No. We lost them back a while ago."

"Good. Good." He said in the deepest tone he could say.

"Would you mind telling us what the fuck's going on here?" I exclaimed and the chair slowly turned, the mysterious man faced us, fully revealing him. There he sat on top of a pile of Playboy Magazines, silvery gray hair all over, two pairs of little paws, cute little nose and a pair of cute big black eyes.

"Charlie?!" We gasped.

"Hello poofs." His mouth moved, "Let me shed some light on the subject."


	3. Chapter Two: The Last of Us

**Ian Hecox**

"You? You're the leader?" Anthony scoffed, "You've gotta be kidding me, you can't even bathe yourself." He cackled at him. Then Charlie suddenly hurled a knife at Anthony, flinging it like he always does and hitting my friend.

"AAAAARRRGGHHH!" He yelled in pain, the knife buried halfway into his shoulder, "You didn't have to do that!"

"You're lucky I didn't aim for your heart, you wanker. Get me some booze, Connor." Charlie's raspy British voice said, Connor left the room then came back right away with two cans of beer.

"Just tell us what the hell's going on." My friend groaned, his hand clutching his injured shoulder, tears flowing from his eyes.

I held on the handle of the knife and started pulling it outwards, "OW! OW! IT HURTS!" He screamed.

I kept pulling but it's really stuck in there. "I'm trying!" I shouted back, but the blade won't budge one bit.

"IT'S DEEP INSIDE ME!" Anthony bellowed as I kept on tugging, "OW! YOU'RE PUSHING IT DEEPER!"  
"_THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!_" I spoke, snickering. Out of nowhere, Anthony slapped me and I think I deserved it. Charlie just laughed at us.

"Move." Link then pushed me sideways and decided to give it a try, "Anthony, you're gonna feel a little stinging pain when I yank this out." He held on the handle.

"I-is this gonna be a short or a-AAAHHHHHH!" Link effortlessly pulled out the knife without warning, making Anthony squeal an impossible whistle note like _Ariana Grande_.

"You okay?" Link asked.

Anthony rose his head up, he was crying, "S-sure, a-as long as y-you define 'okay' as _'IN MASSIVE AGONY'_." He wept like a baby.

"Just put pressure on it." Link squeezed on his shoulder.

He yelped, "Yeah, thanks for the tip." He stuttered, pulling out his scarf then putting it on the bloodied spot.

"Enough of the drama, poofs, let's discuss about the matter at hand." Charlie the drunk guinea pig said, motioning us to sit down. We took the chairs beside him and I sat on the chair to Charlie's right while Anthony stumbled to the left. "Okay, now you assholes have settled down, how about some booze?"

I banged my hand on the table, "Charlie! Get to the point—" I said, "—why are we on the run from them?"

Silence filled the area. "Well?" I interrupted.

"A few days ago, back in the Smosh house, we were just there minding our own businesses and the Smosh Games crew were playing video games while you two were away. I was screaming for booze but no one would give me some." He narrated, "—then someone knocked on the door."

I slowly turned my head at Anthony. He had turned pale and his shocked expression mirrored mine. Suddenly, a dramatic music started playing '_Dun dun duuuun!'_ I traced where the music was coming from, it was from behind me, Connor Kenway was holding a boom box.

"Do you mind, Connor?" Charlie politely asked.

"Oh, Sorry." Connor pressed the pause button.

"As I was saying, someone knocked on the door. Mari answered it and two guys in black stood outside, wanting to talk to her in private, she agreed then went with them. I looked outside the window and watched her being smothered by the guys. She was helpless, she struggled until she fell unconscious."

We gasped.

"They took her body to a black van then returned to the house. I warned the crew to hide but they won't believe me, they said I was hallucinating again. So I hid myself as the goons barged inside and took Joven, Sohinki and Lasercorn, they were no match for the goon's strength. One of the guards said, 'Ian and Anthony should be arriving soon, we better get them to the boss."

"They knew we were coming." I mumbled.

"I snuck out of the house and called Link and the other Smosh guys. Most of them were crying for help, saying that they were being chased down by guys in black. So I gathered the remaining people who weren't caught yet."

"Who are left?" I asked. Then the lights in the room flickered on and fully lit the area and almost blinded us. Four more people were standing in the dark the entire time, as if they were waiting for their queue.

"Ian? Anthony?" Someone spoke up, standing behind Anthony, wearing red Pokemon shirt and beanie propeller hat, _Billy._

"Billy?" Anthony was surprised. He stood up then put his arms around the boy.

"Glad to see you guys again, I just got here too." Billy smiled.

"Billy was supposed to be brought back to 2015 right after Teleporting Fat Guy dropped Mari off. However, he felt that something was wrong so he never brought Billy back and by the time they returned to the present they were ambushed by Alloy Digital's goons, they caught Teleporting Fat Guy but failed to take Billy." Charlie recounted.

"I know why the company's after you guys." Another man spoke. I ran to him, grabbed his collar, and pulled him closer. He was wearing blue police uniform, complete with blue cap; a bushy mustache and a name tag pinned on his polo. _Sgt. Anous._

"Really?! Tell us." I tightened my grip, desperate for answers.

"I would if you let go of my shirt." He choked. I let go of his shirt, he straightened the creases then cleared his throat, "A week ago it was mine and Sgt. Jasshol's overnight shift at Alloy Digital. I went out for a little donut break and when I returned, my partner was lying on the ground, he told me that someone broke in so I went inside. I got to our boss's office and I found him knocked him out as well—" Sgt. Anous took a deep breath, "—I heard someone inside the office and speaking over the intercom: _'Our boss will be taking a break for a while, leaving me in charge. So my first order will be: Catch all the Smosh people and lock them up.'_I took a peep inside and witnessed the criminal pulling out a power glove then vanishing with a flash of light."

Anthony and I stood there with our mouths gaping open. It's not only the two of us who are in danger, but also all the people we've worked with.

"My God, the company's gotten way out of whack don't ya say?" Another guy stepped up wearing 18th century formal attire with fake snow-white hair over his head and wooden teeth. _George Washington from our AC3 video._

"George Washington?!" Anthony blurted out.

"No one can catch me, not even muscular morons." The former president pumped his fist in the air.

"How about we rescue all of them?" The last guy spoke, wearing black tights with two pairs of extra limbs stuck to his sides to his primary arm and wearing white rubber shoes. _ManSpider._

"Yay! ManSpider!" Billy cheered then hugged the 'hero' in tights, "You're my hero!"

I smirked, "You didn't even save the kid, you even got your ass kicked." ManSpider threw his fist at me, hitting me across the face squarely on my cheek. I groaned in pain, the spot felt numb and swollen, throbbing erratically. "Ouch, sorry!" I rubbed my face.

We all looked at Charlie, "So that's all?" Anthony spoke up, his face pale with exhaustion and fear. My eyes stared at every single one of the people in the room.

"I'm afraid so." Charlie confessed.

"So let me get this straight, we're gonna take on Alloy Digital? I mean, how? There are only nine of us then there's maybe fifty or hundreds of them." Anthony asked and what he said was true, we're outnumbered.

"We need to bust them out before it's too late! Who knows what they'll do to them." Billy interjected.

"Sgt. Anous, you mentioned that he had a power glove?" I turned to the police officer.

"Yes." He assured.

Suddenly the door opened, a man with silvery grey hair wearing white wife beater shirt and jeans stepped in, holding a baseball bat.

"It's the Landlord!" Connor shrieked, pressing play on his boom box, _'Dun dun duuuuun!'_

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP PLAYING THAT?!" I scolded him.

The Landlord smirked, playing with the bat, "Alright, where's your rent, Charlie?"

"YAAAHH!" My guinea pig threw a knife at the old man, aimed at his chest.

"AAAAHHH!" The landlord let out a pained scream. The knife buried into the old man's chest, between his man boobs. We all gasped in surprise as the poor man yelped but we all stood there watching him bitching about it.

He finally collapsed on the ground.

"Fuck you, wanker. Now's not the right time."


	4. Chapter Three: The Plan of Attack

**Anthony Padilla**

It's scary to know that we've put our friends' lives on the line and even scarier that we will cease to exist once the past catches up with us. We stood there either staring blankly at each other or looking down on the ground thinking of a way to fix this mess, the mess we've created ever since we first travelled into the past.

Billy stood beside me, terrified, his head bowed down, he was sobbing. Link had his arms folded, his chest rising up and down as he took a deep breath. He tried to maintain a straight and calm face but I could see the sadness in him. He met my gaze and gave the weakest smirk he could then stared back down at the floor.

Ian gently placed Charlie back on the table then softly ran his fingers through his silvery grey fur. I could see in his eyes that it was filled with guilt and desperation. I put my hand on his shoulder, giving him a little shake in an attempt to comfort him.

"It's alright man, we'll figure out a way." I said, smiling.

"I know we can, but time is against us." Ian mumbled.

"You're the man with the plan." I tried lifting his spirit, "We'll find a way."

"Oh really? I thought you told me my plans weren't thought out well?"

"Yeah, but that's the beauty of it, your half-baked plan never ceases to amaze me. Look, no plan is perfect but sometimes the flaws of it are the reason why it works." I firmly said, "We have survived through two adventures, both were life-threatening and ridiculous, so why not this one as well?" I took a breath, "You and me, we're best friends, neither of us could've lived through those without the other. So whatever you're decision is, I'm always here to support it."

His eyes twinkled with hope, "Thanks, bro." We high fived. Ian smiled then went to the boss's chair, "Alright guys, we must move fast." As soon as he began speaking, the group surrounded the table. Ian looked at each and every one of us, "Sgt. Anous, you've been going in and out of the building dozens of times, right?"

"Yes." Sgt. Anous nodded.

"Good, I suppose you know where they locked up the gang?" Ian smiled even wider, hinting excitement.

"No." He confessed. Ian's hopeful smile quickly faded, turning into a frown.

BANG! BANG! BANG! A loud bang came from the front door and its loudness could be heard in our secluded office.

We froze in shock, "What was that?" Ian whispered and the group started panicking.

"Be quiet." I shushed them then turned off the lights in the room leaving only lights coming from the outside dimly lit the inside, passing through the translucent grey curtains.

The banging grew louder.

"We gotta get out of here." I said.

"How?!" Ian yelled. But the banging on the door suddenly stopped, everything fell silent. The ringing sound caused by the dead silence filled my ears.

"It's quiet. TOO QUIET." I broke the silence.

A dark figure outside stood among the lights of the lamp posts, startling us.

"Someone's out there." Link murmured. A soft rustling of the grass on the lawn was created by the footsteps. The shadow grew smaller, it's coming at us.

"Get back!" I whispered, motioning them to step backwards. The figure stopped walking and was stopped mere inches from the glass. I slowly approached the window careful not to make a sound, extending out my hand towards the curtains, cautiously treading towards the dark figure.

My hand was shaking as I stretched it out, my heavy breathing and rapid beating pulse is only what I could hear. My head throbbed in fear and it felt like it would've exploded anytime.

The figure let out an eerie breathing, terrifying us even more. Thoughts clouded at the back of my mind, its slim and tall figure stood outside, head had no hair, just a smooth surface…_this is scary as fuck._

I felt the soft fabric of the curtain with my fingertips before swiftly grasping the cloth, yanking the curtain open and revealing the mysterious figure. I jolted.

"Did anybody order Pizza?" A man wearing a _Chuck E. Cheese_ uniform stood outside the window, holding a huge box of pizza. _False alarm._

"Oh, I totally forgot about the pizza!" Connor spoke up. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Damn it Connor! Why didn't you tell us? Anthony would've died of fright." Charlie scolded the Assassin.

"I was gonna, but the sudden appearance of Ian and Anthony made me forget." Connor walked to the window and pushed it open, "Thanks, man." He handed the guy a bunch of dollar bills in exchange for the box of delicious pizza.

The delivery guy counted the money then nodded, "Thank you sir, enjoy your pizza." He smiled, went back to his scooter then drove away.

"What Pizza is it?" Ian asked, turning the lights back on.

"Let me see," Connor smelled the outside of the box, "PEPPERONI!" He shouted.

"YAAAY!" They cheered. Connor threw the whole box at the center of the table then lifted the lid. The smell of the pizza filled my nose, heavenly. I grabbed a slice of pizza then picked the pepperonis off the surface, leaving the tiny bits of veggies there.

"I thought they found us." Ian chuckled, shoving a pizza into his mouth.

"Yeah, me t—"

SMASH! The sound of glass shattering interrupted our meal, the windows behind me exploded into tiny pieces, followed by the door being knocked down from its place, falling on the floor. Men in black suits entered the room and surrounded us, more than ten of them. Their faces were so terrifying I think that once they see themselves in the mirror they'll break it.

The nine of us moved around the table then rejoined at the center. Our backs leaning against each other, I stretched out my arms with the intention to protect Billy and Charlie while Ian and Link also spread theirs.

"Stay at the middle, Billy." Ian said. We watched some of them pulling out baseball bats.

_ This won't be pretty. _

The goons standing by the doorway stepped aside, a tall guy wearing the same suit walked in but his shades made him stand out among the rest.

"Don't hurt them too much boys, the boss needs them alive." He said.

"What the fuck do you want from us?!" Ian snarled.

"It's complicated." He said.

"What are you, _Facebook_?" Ian mocked. The lead meathead punched Ian in the stomach, making him groan in pain.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I swung my fist at the man but I missed. He roared with laughter then pushed me back to the group.

"Alright boys have fun, but not too much fun." The lead goon ordered.

**Ian Hecox**

Here we are, surrounded by a bunch of scary dudes with the thirst to beat us shitless. The goons closed in, ready to strike. We huddled even tighter at the middle.

"So this it how it ends, huh?" Anthony nervously said.

"Not if I have anything to say in it." I handed him a pencil-length stick with a little wooden ball at one end.

He played with it between his fingers, observing it like a curious child, "What is this?" My friend raised his eyebrow.

"You know what it is, and you may not want to press that tiny button right now." I half smiled, pulling out another stick from my pocket that was almost identical but had the name 'IAN' on it.

"ManSpider, stay at the center and protect Billy and Charlie," I said. Then someone shifted behind my back, it was the guy in tights. He made his way to the center and held the kid and the guinea pig in his arms.

Then I looked at the elf beside me, "Link, you ready?"

"Let's do this." Link smiled eagerly, holding on the Master Sword hanging on his back.

"How about you George?" I turned to the other side and faced the fancily dressed ex-president.

He cocked his pistol, "Bring it." He said.

"Anous?" Anthony asked.

"Waiting on you." The bushy-mustached man just mumbled.

"Connor?" I turned to the hooded man.

"_Freedom fighting machine, big-ass hatchet in hand._" The assassin replied, unsheathing his hidden blade.

A goon ran at us raising his bat. I quickly pressed the button on the stick emitting a blue _Rock Candy Lightsaber_ from the end. With one swift movement, the wooden bat was sliced in two, startling the goon.

The moron's look was a mixture of surprise and fear, his forehead scrunched up then stepped back.

"Your move, bitches." I challenged them, swinging my weapon around accompanied by a soft humming sound with every swing.

Some of them took out lightsabers while the others pulled swords.

"Ohhh..." I mumbled. _I spoke too soon._

"You had to taunt them." Anthony sighed and facepalmed. A couple of bad guys in front of me moved to the side, revealing an even bigger henchman from behind holding a red lighsaber.

I took a step back but kept my stance, "C'mon." I teased him, flipping him my middle finger. The brave henchman pressed another button on his saber and another red rock candy blade came out from the other end of the hilt.

"Oh shit." I should not have done that.

"Brilliant, Ian." Anthony rolled his eyes.

The goon raised the double ended sword and brought it down on me with full force. I blocked the strike with my own creating green sparks that lit the room. He quickly broke the link of the two sabers and took a step backward. The man and I started treading a circle inside the goon blockade, never losing eye contact. I looked at his frowning mouth and menacing eyes.

He pounced by swinging his blade at me with brute force and I counteracted it by swinging the other way. Loud electric buzzing and more green flashes of light came upon impact of the opposing lightsabers. I held my defensive block but I couldn't stay that way for any longer…he was stronger.

I managed to push him away briefly catching him off guard. Then I ran at him and jumped up, bringing down the blue sword at him and our rock candy blades met again, illuminating the whole room. I had the upper hand when suddenly my enemy extended his foot between my legs and knocked me off balance.

I fell hard on the floor with my back hitting the ground first. The dog faced goon walked near me, his eyes filled with anger. "Not so tough now, huh?" He mocked, laughing maniacally. He raised the other end of his blade and delivered his death blow.

Then a green lightsaber blocked the man's attack, creating a bright blue spark.

"Don't you dare, bitch." My friend entered the fight. Anthony fought the lightsaber from above me, breaking the connection of their blades. My friend extended his hand, "You okay?" He asked.

I grabbed his hand and he helped me up, "Yeah, never felt better." I grunted.

"I got your back, bro." Anthony said, prepping his Rock Candy Saber.

The evil henchman spun the double ended saber overhead, taking a few steps towards us and spinning the blades like a pro. He struck at me first, swinging his glowing red sword. I jumped out of the way and watched the tip of the blade brush against my belt buckle, shredding it and nearly cutting my penis off.

"Ha! Missed!" I gloated.

The goon sgrinned, "Did I?"

My pants suddenly dropped, the belt buckle was burned off.

"Talk about being caught with your pants down." Anthony snickered.

I shook my head and pulled up my pants, "Really dude?" I sighed, "—would you just shut up and help me?" I pulled up my pants and held it in place.

Anthony smiled, "With pleasure."


	5. Chapter Four: The Getaway

**Anthony Padilla**

I stood mid-squat raising my green lightsaber above my head and taunting the double-bladed wielding foe. His fierce eyes didn't seem to blink. Cold sweat trickled down the side of my face as my heart leapt, thumping like it's going crazy, my palms started sweating but I kept a straight face, waiting for the strike.

The goon waved his double-ended lightsaber at me with the laser humming at its every swing. The beams of lights finally collided, emitting a loud crackling noise and a bright flash of light. We began to duel, the goon went crazy, alternating the use of his double blades but I managed to block every single one of them, flashes of light sparked with each collision of the blades again.

We locked our swords, pushing against each other, "H-had enough?" I stuttered.

He shouted, "NEVER!" He swung the other end of his saber at my face. I was caught off-guard as the glowing red light was coming at my neck.

Suddenly a blue lightsaber stopped the oncoming attack, saving me from decapitation.

"May I cut in?" Ian said. Then he shoved the big moron away, knocking him to the ground. This angered the goon even more. He jumped back to his feet and started screaming and spinning his saber in every direction.

"Alright, you take the lower and I'll take the upper blade." Ian said.

"Which one?" I asked.

"I dunno, just start screaming like a bitch and fight him." Ian held out a hand, asking for a handshake, "We can do this."

I gripped his hand, "We can, brother!" and shook it.

Ian smiled, "Duck."

Without hesitation, I ducked and Ian countered the first blow of the goon. I hit the other end of the enemy's lightsaber while ducked down. I stood up as our swords were still opposed, surrounding the guy. He broke away from the links and did a front flip away from the center. He landed behind us, we turned around and met the slice of red light with our own, causing a three-way battle.

Adrenaline pumping, heart racing, and palm sweating action happened.

The three-way duel has stunned the others. Ian and I fought the deranged goon, narrowly avoiding some dismemberment as the fight seemed to have no end. We were like dancing along the rhythm of the colliding lightsabers, me and Ian alternating attacks on the enemy.

I ducked and put my hands on my knees, "Ian, over the top!" I yelled. Ian ran at me then rolled his back against mine, meeting the pounce of the goon's sword with his sword. I hit the other end of the blade and the sound of three opposing rock candy lightsabers crackled.

The henchman stepped backwards, unlinking the three way battle and by the looks of it, he was kinda pissed. He ran at me and I did the same, dashing towards the opponent. He swung again from the right and I kneeled on the ground and tilted my head backwards, sliding under the red glowing blade. I stood up behind him but he was quick, kicked me on my chest, sending me flying backwards. I fell hard on the ground with a loud thud, the people gasped in surprise.

I felt my arm break, excruciating pain surged within and I could no longer feel my right arm.

Ian was once again in a one on one fight with him. He looked at me and saw what happened, he knew that I couldn't fight anymore so he took on the man on his own, fending off the multiple strike. With one clean swipe, Ian sliced the goon's hilt off, rendering one end of his lightsaber useless.

_ Now the battle's fair._

The man retaliated and kept striking Ian's sword, his eyes now bloodshot. In blind fury, he kicked Ian on the crotch then disarmed him by similarly cutting his hilt in half. He then mercilessly kicked Ian down on the ground and pointed the tip of the saber at him, declaring victory. He raised his weapon in the air, preparing for the final blow.

"Your boss said that you shouldn't kill us." Ian replied angrily.

"Screw him." He mocked.

My hand felt a wooden ball connected to a stick, a pencil length stick: _my lightsaber_. I pressed it and the green rock candy blade was drawn out. I threw it like a boomerang, spinning horizontally in the air and flying towards the blade of the enemy being brought down on my friend.

In a split second, the flying green saber met with the red blade, bouncing off of it and ultimately saving Ian from his death.

Ian got the chance to retaliate, he bent his knee the farthest, almost touching his abdomen before releasing it to the goon's crotch. His foot met the guy's scrotum and it made everyone feel uneasy.

The henchman kneeled in pain, clutching his manhood and squealing in _Mezzo Soprano_. Ian rose to his feet and gave the kneeled opponent a powerful punch in the face.

_ K.O.!_

The man's head spun around his neck, like in _Mortal Kombat_.

_ "FINISH HIM!"_ Billy screamed. Ian smiled and used his knee to hit the downed man's face, knocking him out for good.

_ "FATALITY!"_ They cheered.

Link went to me and held my broken arm, "Whoa, that's gotta hurt." Indescribable pain shocked my body as he lifted it.

"Wow, you think?!" I whimpered. Link fished for a long towel in his pocket and made a makeshift arm sling.

"They beat Bob! Kill them!" One of the goons screamed. Then the guys in black charged from everywhere, weapons drawn with more coming from the open windows and doors.

The Smosh gang surrounded me. George Washington drew out his dual pistols and fired at them, knocking out a couple of the men, "This is what I fucking love to do!" He cheered as he pulled the trigger, _"You can't step up to me! And my gang!"_ He sang with loud explosions coming from his gun, bringing down more bad guys.

The president ducked, then Connor stepped on his back and launched himself into the air. He flew high up the room then detracted his hidden blade and pulled out his tomahawk.

"_Taste my tomahawk chop_." He quoted and dove into the hoard of guys, battling through them.

Sgt. Anous kept shooting at the charging guys, "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINALS!" He said as he shot down the goons.

Link went into a sword fight with three of the henchmen.

"Oh look, it's that Zelda guy." One man mocked. _He shouldn't have said that._

Link blushed in anger, _"Oh you think my name is Zelda?! That's a fucking girl's name!" _He skillfully defended himself, "HUYAAH! WHOOOAAYAH! AYAAAH!"

Ian was at the other side of the room, having found another lightsaber, defeating the enemies.

_ Chaos, just pure chaos._

Billy placed Charlie inside his pocket. He then picked up my sword and unintentionally activated the blade. "Whoa! Cool!" The boy was amazed by the glowing stick.

Then a goon lunged at him, "Billy, watch out!" I yelled.

"Behind you, you twat!" Charlie bellowed.

"WHERE?!" Billy turned around and accidentally hit the attacking guy, burning the goon's shirt and scorching him. The guy squealed in pain.

"Oh my Bieber! I'm so sorry!" He reached for the guy, "I'm gonna get a first aid kit." He turned around again and the lightsaber poked another henchman's ass.

"Sorry!" Billy put the hilt in his armpit with the blade still activated. He kneeled down to help the man but the sword stabbed the guy's buttcheek, "Oh no, my bad!" The boy apologized.

And then another guy charged at Billy.

"Get up Billy!" Charlie said. Billy stood up; the lightsaber in his armpit went up between the legs of the attacking goon and up his crotch, burning through his underwear. The man's facial expression was indescribable: his teeth grinded against each other, eyes crossed and twitching probably because of his nuts roasting by the heat of the sword.

"My fucking _BALLS_!" The henchman dropped his weapon and jumped out of the blade's heat, crying like a bitch and fanning his smoking ballsacks.

I looked back at my best friend, he definitely heard the word. He grabbed a nearby vase and smashed it on his head,

"Oh shit." Three guys closed in on an unconscious Ian, brandishing their weapons, "IAN! Wake up!" I fought through the ensuing fight to get to my friend. One man took a step closer to him with the thirst to kill.

"NO!" I jumped into the man, knocking him on the ground. I picked up his lightsaber with my non broken hand and fended off the other two. It became tricky since my left wasn't my dominant hand, but I somehow beat them. They all fell to the floor, either with burn marks or nearly dead.

"What happened?" Ian came to his senses.

I helped him stand up, "You fell unconscious, man." I said.

"Why?"

"You heard the word '_balls_'." Ian's eyes widened and he reached for his weapon. I held back his hand, "No, no, no." I slapped him back to his senses.

"Gee thanks, now where were we?" Ian smirked.

I glanced at Billy, his clumsiness managed to beat five goons and burn ManSpider's eyebrows off. I ran to him, "Billy!" I called.

"What?" He turned around with the sword still powered on. I bent backwards and avoided the swing of the weapon, watching the green blade fly over my chest.

"Whoa, you got carried away." I said.

Billy's face was guilt-ridden, "I-I didn't mean to hurt them." He sobbed.

"It's okay," I chuckled, placing my hand on his shoulder, "You did good."

Billy's face sparked with joy. His wide grin exposed his fang like teeth, "Really?" He smiled

"Really really."

"YAAAY!" He danced around, still with the sword in his hands. I dodged the swinging saber and grabbed his hand.

"But first, can you give me back my rock candy?" I asked.

"Oh sure, here you go." Billy said as he handed it to me.

"Yeah give it to him, your stupid dancing around is making me feel worse than being drunk." Charlie spoke from Billy's pocket, "—and I think I puked in here, sorry about that."

"Thanks." I gripped the wooden hilt of the weapon, retracted the blade then slid it in my pocket. All of the bad guys were on the floor, we've defended ourselves well, but we were all exhausted.

I looked at the head henchman, his expression was a mixture of anger and fear, "That's it, time to bring out the big guns!" He said before backing away and letting someone enter the room: a huge square figure stood there, his body shining silver, head was also square, eyes were huge and round, glowing red. Legs and arms were big fat tubes.

"You recognize _Bot Best Friend_, right?" The goon smiled. He turned the knob on the fifth setting:

_MURDEROUS RAMPAGE MODE._

"Now, get them." He ordered, Bot Best Friend drew out dual chainsaws from his hands with the blades of the saws humming noisily. We readied ourselves as the robot walked closer when suddenly a large hole burst out through the chest of the robot. The machine froze and fell down on the ground, his heavy body gave the floor a slight tremor.

Behind him stood an old woman with short curly gray hair, wearing a small pair of glasses in front of her blue eyes and resting on her crooked nose. She was wielding a shotgun. Her face was beautiful, one of the most voluptuous ones I've ever laid my eyes on, _Ian's mom._

"Mom!" Ian ran to his mom and gave her a hug.

"Hey sweetie." She kissed her son's cheek, "I hope I'm not too late." She smiled.

"Oh you just came in time." I said.

"Anthony! Good to see — oh my God, are you okay?" She saw my injury.

"I'm fine, thanks for saving us." I replied as she wrapped her arms around me. _Best. Feeling. Ever._

"This isn't over yet!" The lead goon shouted, "We'll be back."

"Oh will you just shut the fuck up?!" Ian's mom hit the goon with the butt of the shotgun, knocking him unconscious.

"Now, let's go now before more goons come in." Ian's mom said, motioning us out of the room.

"WAIT!" Connor suddenly yelled, stopping us in our tracks.

"What?" I asked.

He ran back to the table, "My pizza."


	6. Chapter Five: Intruders

**Ian Hecox**

The goons lay on the floor unconscious; at least most of them. The others were writhing in pain from the burns and cuts. My mom led us out of the room, giving us a window for escape. I took a glance outside the shattered windows where two black vans with open doors and heavily tinted windows were parked on the grass lawn, driverless and engine revving.

_ "Come in? Anyone there? Come in!"_ It came from the radio from the vans, _"Come in! The backup's almost there_._"_

Then Billy tugged my shirt. I turned to him, his silvery propeller hat reflecting the moonlight attached to his red and blue beanie, covering his brown wavy hair, "Ian, what did the guy in the van say?" he asked.

"They are coming." I said shakily, "They are coming."

Billy's expression became even more terrified, his eyes welled with tears, his pale skin turned paler, almost paper white and he trembled in fear, "W-well, let's g-go." He choked the words, pulling my elbow then tugging me out of the place. I walked out of the room then shut the door and the group was waiting in the hallway.

I walked towards them hurriedly as their eyes were on me, "What's wrong, sweetie?" She asked, her voice echoed in the hallway.

I gulped, "They are—"

The sounds of tires screeched against the asphalt outside followed by car doors opening.

"Connor, did you order more pizza?" Charlie asked as he peeked out of Billy's pocket.

"No, I think." Connor mumbled. I tiptoed to the nearest window and peeped through the blinds: parked outside the house were two more vans with more guys hopping out of it.

_ This is bad._

"Shit, more goons!" I whispered and ducked under the window, everyone gasped.

"What are we gonna do?" Billy panicked, he became restless.

"We can't fight any more of them this time." ManSpider spoke up. The battle earlier did take a toll from us: Anthony was injured, I got wounded and probably won't be able to make babies anymore but I hope I still can though. We were tired, it's almost impossible to fight again in our current state and if we did, we would lose in a snap.

"I have a plan." I calmed them, "Connor, come with me. Anthony, lead the rest of them into the garage and get everyone in the van, don't drive out unless I give the signal." Anthony nodded. Connor went beside me holding his box of pizza.

"Do it quietly, don't let them see you." I warned.

"What about you two?" He asked.

"We'll catch up. Now go." I motioned them to go, "Oh, and Billy?" Billy turned around to face me.

"Yeah?" The boy spoke up.

"Does your hat have batteries?" I pointed to his yellow and red beanie.

"As a matter of fact, it does." He said, tapping the hat. It spun and gave the boy a lift before he turned it off again.

"Can I borrow it? Just this once?" I politely asked.

"Sure, you can borrow it anytime you like, just don't scratch the blades." Billy took off the hat from his head then handed it to me.

"Thanks."

My mom gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "Don't do anything stupid." She said.

"Oh mom, you know I'll always do something dumb." I smirked.

"That's my boy." She gently pat my cheek.

Anthony placed his hand on my shoulder, "See you later, man." He said, his tone filled with concern, "You sure you know what you're doing?"

"I think so." I replied. My heart raced, nervousness clouded my mind.

"Watch your back." Anthony advised.

"Yeah, yours too." I replied. Anthony went in front of the group and led them through the hallway, slowly treading the floor quietly to not make a sound, leaving me and Connor in the place.

"So what's the plan?" Connor asked, his face ready for more action and buried in pizza.

I put on Billy's propeller hat, "Follow me." Before he could even move, I stopped him in his tracks, "—and give me some of that delicious pizza."

**Anthony Padilla**

Ian and Connor went back into the room as Link and I led the rest away from them and into the garage. I really do hope Ian's plan works out, whatever it is. I just hope we get out of this alive. My broken arm hurt, it was bearable but it kept irritating me as it was throbbing like crazy. We crept along the corridor making our way to the door in front of us going past a couple of statues that were along the hallway, placed there to make the place seem elegant and cool.

The knob of the door leading to the garage jiggled, without any hesitation, we quickly scrambled into hiding like cockroaches with everyone taking their own hiding place. Link hid with Ian's mom behind a statue of a man what looked like to be fondling himself. I knelt behind a large vase opposite the statue with Billy and Charlie. ManSpider hid beside a statue of a dog, crouching down to fit behind it. Sgt. Anous turned off the lights in the hall then went inside a closet, enveloping us in darkness again.

The door flew open and four guys in black walked in, holding guns with flashlights attached to it.

"Find them." One said then they scattered afterwards. Two of them went to the corridor to their left while the remaining guys walked our way, carefully searching every nook and cranny of the place with their beams of light moving in the dark.

"Come out come out, bitches." A deep voice called out, sending chills down my spine. The beams of light drew closer, along with a series of footsteps echoing along the hall.

The pain in my arm returned, this time it hurt more. It was like a spike was driven into it; I shoved my shirt collar into my mouth and bit hard on it, managing not to scream as the pain soared.

"A-Anthony, what are we gonna do now?" Billy whispered, leaning onto my arm.

"I would think of something if you get off of my arm, you're hurting it." I mumbled through the shirt in my mouth then slapped him away.

"Sorry." He inched away. The beam of flashlight illuminated some of Link's face, who was looking at me.

"What do we do know?" Link's mouth moved without any sound. I shushed him but no idea came to my mind and the goons are fast approaching at our hiding spot. There's no escaping them, we can't go away from them as it would just be leading us back into the room we previously were in.

"Where are you?" The goon's raspy voice called out again, they stood a few inches from our hiding place with their flashlights moving from left to right. Billy and I squeezed ourselves tighter behind the big vase, trying our best not to be discovered. The beam slowly moved closer to my foot. I covered Billy's mouth so his deep breaths won't be heard, _they're gonna see us any moment now._

"Psst!" A voice echoed from inside the vase. The light stopped moving, it stopped mere inches from my legs. My entire body trembled, that was a close call. The guy holding it was distracted by the sound.

He stuck his head into the vase. "Hello?" He called out as he leaned deeper into the dark inside of the large porcelain vase. Then a loud metal clang came from inside, making the man's body twitch then slump down with his head still inside it.

"Dude! Are you okay?!" The other guy checked on his fallen comrade. ManSpider jumped up from his hiding place then hurled his fist in the face of the second guy sending him to sleep.

We stood up from our hiding places. The man with his head inside the vase was pushed out and Link caught the body of the unconscious man and laid him on the ground.

"My God! That guy's breath smelled terrible!" George Washington popped out of the vase, fanning the smell away from his nose.

We sighed in relief, "Great thinking, George." Ian's mom said.

"Shit! The other two are coming back!" ManSpider whispered as a pair of light beams shone around the corner of the hallway. He and Link ran to the corner to give them a little surprise.

As soon as the henchmen stepped into view, the two lunged at them, riding on their backs and muffling their screams. They kicked the gun from their hands then wrestled them to the ground. Link pulled out his sword and smacked the hilt of it in the head of the man, resulting in a loud clang of the metal. The struggling man lost his grip and his hands fell flat on the ground.

Manspider gave a powerful punch at the man and soon after, his opponent was knocked out also. They shoved the two men inside a room while Sgt. Anous did the same to the other two, pushing them into the closet.

"The coast is clear!" Link said, taking the guy's gun and flashlight and waving it, "C'mon, let's go."

"Let's go guys!" I pulled the rest of the gang to the place Link stood.

"Wait!" George Washington called out. We stopped and glanced behind us, "I'm stuck." He whimpered, he was stuck from the waist down in the vase and can't pull out any further.

ManSpider took Sgt. Anous with him and went back to the President in need, "Alright Anous, you hold the bottom and I'll pull George out." He instructed then took George's arms while the policeman held the vase in place, they tried pulling away but he won't budge. "Again, Pull!" He commanded, but their efforts were not enough to free the president.

The front door creaked open, more were coming. Billy became restless again as he was sweating all over his red shirt.

"There's not enough time! Roll him!" Ian's mom interjected. The two guys tipped the vase with George still in it to its side and started rolling him towards us. They pushed harder and Mr. President spun around faster.

"Guys! Whoa! Take it easy, my wooden teeth's gonna fall out!" The swirling George whispered. It was hard not to grin at his situation because he looked like a giant rolling pin.

Link opened the door leading to the garage and we followed him in along with the rolling president being pushed by the two guys. I shut the door behind us and we were in the dark again. I only saw light coming from an open door in the garage that leads to the outside. Billy ran to the door and closed it shut while Ian's mom turned on the lights.

The lights flickered on and the garage was fully lit: two vehicles were parked inside, one was the car that Link used earlier to rescue us and the other one was a large blue van.

"Use the van, Link!" Charlie said. The elf got into the van and quietly fired up the engine, Billy yanked the van's back doors open and stepped inside, pulling Ian's mom with him. I sat beside Link on the passenger seat while the two guys loaded the vase onto the van. ManSpider took off the front and back license plates before hopping in with Sgt. Anous.

"George, are you okay in there?" ManSpider tapped on the porcelain surface of the vase.

"Yeah, I might've puked in here a little." His voice echoed inside the container.

**Ian Hecox**

I shut the door behind us and we were now back in the room where a lot of henchmen laid. We have to stay as quiet as possible or else we'll give away our location. I fixed Billy's hat firmly onto my head and took a step forward in between the bodies of unconscious men, careful not to nudge them awake.

"Follow me, and don't make a sound, we need to get out through the window." I advised Connor and he just nodded.

SQUEAK! A loud squeak came from behind me, I turned around and Connor had stepped on a rubber duck.

"I said be quiet!" I scolded and he shrunk in embarrassment.

A loud burst of Dubstep played and I shot a glance back at the assassin who had his foot on the button of his boom box.

"Goddammit, Connor! I swear to God I will end you!" I cursed then drew out the hilt of my sword.

"Sorry." He whispered, gently moving the radio to one side.

After that brief argument, we were able to quickly and quietly make our way through the room to the shattered windows. I parted the curtains and peeked outside, inching my head out the window and checking if the coast was clear. To my front was the two vans used earlier, empty and engine running. Then I looked to my left: at the far end of the side walk were two more vans that recently came, along with at six guys in black standing around it talking to each other and had their backs turned. To my right were no signs of idiots.

"Let's go." I drew one leg out over the broken window then followed by my other leg before dropping down to the grass and hurriedly hiding in the bushes beneath; the assassin followed suit. I gave Connor the gesture to follow me as I went out of the bushes and crouched behind a bench. Our hiding was perfectly aided by the poor lighting of the lamp posts, rendering any of our movements close to being unnoticeable.

"First we pop the tires of these vans first before those other two." I whispered and pointed to the two vans on the sidewalk, "—and throw away their car keys if you happen to find them."

"Alright." He agreed and we set the plan in motion, we went to the empty running vans. Connor and I split up and took each van. I crouched behind the first van and got to the front right tire, detracting my rock candy lightsaber then stabbing the tip of it into the rubber. Connor did the same by using his hidden blade with the other van's tire.

I retracted the lightsaber, it was followed by a faint hissing sound, interrupting the silence.

"What was that?" A goon said who was standing near the other pair of vehicles, his flashlight shone in the dark. _We gotta move quickly._

"Move fast, we don't have much time." I said to Connor. We moved simultaneously to the next tire, the rear right side, creating another hiss.

"There it is again." Said the henchman.

"Let's check it out." Said his friend. I peeked under the car and saw two pairs of legs walking towards the vans. I went around the back of the van mere moments before the goon showed up around the corner.

"I heard something." The man stated.

"You take that one and I'll take this one."

I leaned against the cold metal doors of the van and carefully slid my way to the other side. My chest thumped rapidly and warm sweat drenched my back. I took a few breaths then crouched down noticing that the rear left tire was within my reach. I peeked under the van again and there the goons stood, walking around the car to the place where I was standing. I crawled under the van and the moist grass brushed against my chest and face. I shoved the hilt of the sword into the third wheel then activated my sword, deflating the tire, careful not to show the bright light of my blue sword.

"There it is again." He sighed. He stood where I stood earlier looking for the sound. I rolled out of the van in a nick of time just as he crouched down to look under it. I ran to the front left and sliced the remaining tire open before making a right turn around the van and running behind a car parked across the street, almost being caught by the other goon.

Then Connor saw me hiding, he gave a thumbs up and ran towards me, moving as silent as an assassin that he should be.

"That was a close one." I breathed, "—now those other vans." I referred to the remaining two.

The men kept circling the vans, clueless that we had already left them. We proceeded to the other two and swiftly popped out all of the tires.

"GO!" I yelled.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Connor shook my shoulders.

"Giving them the signal." Pressed a button on Billy's propeller hat and it started spinning around, "Now we better get out of here." I grabbed his arms and we were lifted into the air.

A large group of goons exited the house, searching the place to find where the sound came from.

Then a loud roar of engines came from the garage.

VROOM! VROOM! The roars grew louder as the men approached the garage doors and readied their guns.

The engine roared even louder...

A blue van bursts out, destroying the entire garage door and surprising the morons.

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKA!" Link screamed as he drove the van out of the garage, he flashed the bright lights and stunned the goons. The men jumped out of the way as the van went at them like a raging bull charging at full speed.

"Don't let them get away!" One goon shouted. They started firing their guns at the van, puncturing the metal body of it. Then someone from inside the van smashed the rear window and drew out a gun, firing back at them but he did not last long against them, he retreated afterwards.

"Get them!" He ordered. The henchmen hopped into their vans and started the engines. The vehicles drove after the getaway vehicle but quickly spun out of control, followed by loud hissing of deflating tires and burning rubber.

"Yeah!" Connor cheered. We gained even more height then followed Link and the rest, driving off and finding _a place to hide._


	7. Chapter Six: Fallen Warrior

**Anthony Padilla**

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKA!" Link bellowed as he rammed the garage door, bursting through its wooden panel and shattering it to bits. The impact of the collision cracked the windshield.

Link's foot buried the gas pedal to the floor, the engine roared aloud. I flicked on the bright lights of the van at the awaiting men, startling them. We were thrown around inside as it leapt through the door, bouncing around violently and scratching the paint job.

"I hope this one's covered by the insurance." Link sighed as he made a right turn into the open road, ramming open the blocking vans.

"Don't let them get away!" screamed a goon and deafening sounds of gunfire filled the night.

"Anthony! They're shooting at us!" Billy yelled, I glanced back as bullet holes burst through the back doors of the van.

"Get away from the doors!" I shouted.

"I ain't gonna go away without a fight!" Sgt. Anous drew out his gun and smashed the window panel of the doors. He fired shots at them, "Die, bitches!" He cackled.

The shots from the goons hit Sgt. Anous squarely in his chest, hitting him multiple times. "Is that all you got?!" More shots were fired at him.

"NO!" I screamed. The policeman's body jerked with every bullet that hit his body, blood spattered all over him, he took it all to save us.

His body hit the floor hard, rocking the entire vehicle.

Ian's mom went to Anous, putting his head on her lap, the policeman twitched "Hey, eyes on me." She said, taking off his hat and running her hand in his hair.

"FLOOR IT LINK!" I shouted. The elf stepped on the pedal and we zoomed faster into the night. The houses and street lights outside blurred as we gained speed.

"Uh oh, more trouble." ManSpider said. The men jumped into their vans and drove after us. I leapt to the back and grabbed Anous's gun, aimed it at them as they drew closer, preparing myself to take a shot.

Suddenly the chasing vans spun out of control, we heard a loud hissing of popped tires. The two chasers crashed into each other, spinning out of control then doing a barrel roll. I lowered the gun and sighed in relief. We have escaped and the images of their vehicles grew smaller as Link drove farther.

"Stay with us." Ian's mom pled and I rushed over to the downed officer who was bleeding; his pale skin was stained with crimson.

"Hey, look at me, you can make it." I looked Sgt. Anous in the eye, "You'll survive." I held his shaking hand as my eyes watered.

"S-so this is how it feels to be shot multiple times." His voice stuttered.

I managed to squeeze out a chuckle. "Tell me about it." I sobbed a little as tears streamed down my face.

"Don't die, Sgt. Anous." Billy knelt beside me.

"Don't cry." The policeman smiled at me, his eyes stayed tearless and firm.

"Why wouldn't we cry?" I sobbed again.

"I'll be alright." He said, his finger pointed to an unbuttoned part of his blue bloodied uniform. Underneath the uniform was a black cloth, I examined it and it wasn't an ordinary undershirt, I ripped his uniform open and he was wearing a black vest underneath with a bunch of bullets lodged on the surface of it. _A bulletproof vest._

"I knew this heavy thing will come in handy." Sgt. Anous sat up, his body still felt sore.

I wiped off my tears and smiled, "You son of a bitch, Anous, for a second there I thought you were dying." I was a furious and relieved at the same time.

"But what about the bloodstains?" I asked.

"What blood?" The policeman raised an eyebrow.

"That one on your neck?" Billy referred to the bloodstain.

"Oh dang it! Those bastards shot through my jelly donuts!" The cop dug in his shirt pocket and pulled out a little brown donut with a bullet hole in the middle with red jelly dripping out of it and the other pocket had the same bullet-ridden donut.

"Now how am I gonna eat this?" Sgt. Anous wept over his loss, "I know! I'll eat around it!" He buried his face in the donut and ate around the punctured holes.

The large vase lying beside me was tapped from the inside, "Uh, guys? What's happening out there?" George Washington's voice echoed inside, "I'm still in here in case you're wondering."

"We'll get you out later." I tapped on the vase.

"Okay, can you get me out of here sooner my good man? I'm swimming in vomit here." He said.

"Yeah, as soon as we get far enough." I leaned my back on the side of the van, relieved that the ordeal is somewhat over for now. My eyes circled the place: ManSpider was playing with Billy, both of whom were petting Charlie the drunk guinea pig, rubbing his furry back.

"Aw sod off, wanker." Charlie's butchered British voice yelped, "Ohh... On second thought, keep rubbing that part." He smiled, "—a little lower, Billy." He moaned. Billy moved his hand lower into the guinea pig's side.

"Aaahhh perfect." Charlie groaned

"Are these your balls?!" Billy was disgusted.

"Yeah, keep rubbing." He moaned.

"Okay, that's enough." ManSpider interrupted them. I smirked and glanced at Ian's mom, her beautiful grey hair and gorgeous eyes. She smiled at me and I smiled back, reassuring her that everything's alright.

Then something heavy landed on the roof of our van, creating a dent on the ceiling and wobbling the entire vehicle.

"What the hell was that?!" Link was startled.

"Whatever it is, it sounded big." I said, "—and it's on the roof." A series of dents appeared on top of us like footsteps, making its way to the shattered window of the rear doors. Everyone fell silent and laid down flat on the ground. Another loud thud on the roof rocked the van, followed by more footsteps.

"Link, t-they're c-coming." I stuttered and pressed my back against the floor.

"Shh, be quiet." The elf shushed me.

"What are you doing?" I slowly raised my head.

"Waiting."

"For what?"

"The right TIME!" Link stepped on the brakes and the weight on top of the van was suddenly taken away as the creepers were catapulted up front onto the road. We were all tossed to the front, even the vase, squished together up front like sardines.

"Everyone alright?" Link called out.

"Sure we're okay, we just feel like we're in a tight situation." I ranted. I rose up from the piles of people and glanced out of the front windshield: there were two men lying outside on the road a few feet away from each other with their backs turned at us. They were groaning in pain, one guy was wearing 18th century hood and some weapons strapped to his belt while the other one wore a black long-sleeved jacket, and faded blue jeans, and a red and yellow propeller hat over a bowl haircut.

"OH SHIT, IT'S IAN AND CONNOR!" I shrieked. I jumped out of the van and ran to Ian while Link ran to Connor.

"Ian! Are you okay?!" I rolled him over on his back, his face was bruised and wounded and the small gashes on his face were bleeding.

Ian narrowed his eyes, "Hey man, w-what happened?" He was dazed.

"Link thought you were the bad guys and flew you off the car." I tried laughing at the matter.

"Oh yeah, we should've told you we were coming." Ian's voice was exhausted, "We were gonna surprise you or something like that."

"Wrong timing, man, wrong timing." I chuckled, "—now how about we get back to the car?"

"G-great Idea." I offered him my hand and he took it, dizzyingly standing up then walking to the door like he was drunk, shaken because of the incident.

Ian's mom aided his son in getting in. "Oh my God, Ian, are you alright?!" His mother's tone was very concerned.

"Don't worry, I'm fine mom." Ian was still dazed. Mrs. Hecox got a wet blanket and wiped the wounds on his son's arms. "OW! OUCH! STOP! IT HURTS!" Ian squealed.

"We need to clean those or it'll get infected." We got everyone in the van including Connor who was also wounded and bruised and Ian's mom also came to his aid.

I rode beside Link who had resumed driving, "Where are we going, Link?" I asked the driver.

His eyes remained focused on the road, "Some place safe." He sighed.

"Someplace safe?" I raised my voice, "That's what you said earlier and look what happened, we almost got caught."

"Trust me this time, it's a safer place. It's an old friend of mine's but we need to get a change of vehicle first before we go there so no assholes will end up finding us."

"Fine." I fell asleep for a good fifteen minutes.

* * *

"Anthony! Wake up, wake up, guys!" Link jolted me awake. My blurry vision cleared and a lot of cars were parked beside our van. The place looked familiar... _A Multistory carpark._

"What's all the noise about?" Ian had also bolted awake, "What are we doing in a car park?"

"We need to get a new car." Link was searching the parked cars as Ian went back and began waking up the others.

"How? We can't just steal their cars." I followed Link while he continued to search for a suitable vehicle.

"Sometimes you gotta have a backup plan." The elf stopped by a sedan, a _Gray Subaru Impreza STI_. Link went to the rear right wheel and stuck his hand between the fender and the tire, reaching for something. "Ah there you are you little rascal!" Link pulled out a key.

"How did you know that there's a key in there?" I freaked out.

"Duh, it's my car." The elf unlocked the car then got inside.

"You know, you never cease to amaze me, Link." I really was impressed. _He's good._

"Yeah, life's full of surprises." He started up the engine, picked up the others then drove out of the parking lot.

"Uh, guys?" Billy tapped my shoulder.

I looked back, "What is it Billy?"

"Where's George Washington?" He asked. Link and I looked at each other both with shocked expressions. He smacked his hand on the wheel.

"DAMN!"


	8. Chapter Seven: They see me Rollin

**Ian Hecox**

"Okay, Pull!" I bellowed as Link and I pulled back the big porcelain vase while ManSpider and Sgt. Anous held George Washington's hands, pulling away from us attempting to force him out of the narrow-necked opening, but our efforts were proven futile.  
"How did you even fit in there?!" I said out of breath, my voice echoing in the car park.

"I have no idea." The president said, still trapped waist down in the vase.

"Why don't we just break it?" Sgt. Anous asked, drawing out his gun and holding the barrel to use the handle as a hammer. Connor prepared his tomahawk.  
"No!" Charlie interjected, "—that's one priceless vase, ain't no way I'm gonna let you poofs break it."

"I guess we just have to pull him again." I said. Link and ManSpider groaned in exhaustion.

"I can't feel my legs." George said.

We grabbed on the vase again, "Again, PULL!" We grunted, pulling with all our strength.

"Ow, ow. If you pull even more I could gain a few inches in height." The president whimpered. Link's face turned red with struggle, we were all trying our best. We let go of the vase for a little rest and I took out my inhaler and used it.

I glanced up and saw Anthony, his broken arm resting on a makeshift arm sling, his face looking concerned.  
"You need me to help?" Anthony asked, concerned.

"You can't pull with a broken arm and look, it's swollen like a boxing glove." I pointed to his fat arm.

"Alright, so keep pulling, bitch!" My friend commanded. _What a dick._

The four of us resumed our positions, "In three, two, one... PULL!" We yanked once again, more grunts were let out.

The muscles in my arms twitched, growing weaker by the moment. My palms became sweaty and any second now it's gonna slip off. I guess I spoke too soon as my fingers started sliding from the vase.  
"Whoa!" I eventually let go, landing on my back on the asphalt road. The second I slipped off, Link also lost his grip. The uneven pull from the other side sent the vase flying in their direction.

"Oh shit, George!" Link yelled. I raised my head from lying down and saw George Washington and the vase rolling away from us down the car park's sloped surface.

"MY VASE!" Charlie screamed.

I stood up and ran after it, "Oh shit, oh shit!" I kept on running. The president and the vase kept rolling like a log.

Connor joined me and ran, "Damn, he rolls fast!" he said, even his assassin skills were no match for the tumbling vase.

"I think I'm gonna puke!" The rolling man gagged. He rolled even faster away from us and I sprinted like crazy, dashing after him as fast as I could. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, HURRGGHLLLL!" Mr. Washington finally unleashed more of his lunch, sprouting like a sprinkler and leaving a trail of brownish green vomit.

"Damn, that's nasty!" I exclaimed. I still ran after him while avoiding the trail of lost lunch and its smelly odor.

"How big is this damn car park?!" Connor ranted. I began feeling the need to catch my breath as beads of sweat began to trickle down my face, chest and back creating stain marks on my shirt.

I still wasn't able catch up with the tumbling man. I was fast, but he was faster... _Or I need to bump up my cardio workout. _

The vase and the man neared the end of the level, where a solid concrete wall awaits. "I'm almost there!" I lied and stopped running, panting heavily, just waiting for it to hit the wall.

SMASH! The vase shattered upon impact on the wall, freeing George's legs and leaking some nasty green liquid from inside it. The president lay on his back completely disoriented and cross-eyed.

I went to him, sweaty and tired, "Mr. President! A-Are you alright?" I knelt beside him and helped him sit up.

He turned his head to me, cheeks were barf stained and his eyes were still crossed, "N-Never been better, s-shon! N-Now w-where are thosh Britishh shonsh of bitchesh?!" He squeaked, head tilting side to side as he tried to balance it.

I laughed a little.

"Now, let'sh go and shign the declarashon of inependensh!" I noticed that his wooden teeth were missing.

"George, where's your teeth?" I asked.

"Oh shhhit! Where'shh my wooden teeth?!" He touched is toothless gums then grabbed my shirt and began shaking me, "I can't liff withhhouth my teeth!"

A few minutes later, Connor arrived, he was also very exhausted. He bent down and placed his hands on his knees gasping for air before wiping his sweat away with his white sleeve. Suddenly, his blade sprouts out of his sleeve, almost stabbing him but he managed to dodge it in a split second. His face was overshadowed with surprise, eyes wide in shock.

"Connor! Haff you shheen my teeth?" The president asked, rubbing his empty gums.

The assassin bit his lips and nodded no, "Uh-Uh."

I looked at his face but he was avoiding my stare. He bowed his head and covered it with his hood trying to avoid any interactions. I stood up and slid off his hood, he raised his head up to look at me.

"Are you hiding something?" I calmly said.

"Uh uh." He shook his head and attempted to stretch out a smile.

"Connor." I raised my voice a little, giving him a stink eye implying that I was damn serious, "Smile."

The assassin smiled timidly.

"Wider." I said, he smiled a little wider but still lips closed.

"Wider, show me those pearly whites." I raised my voice even higher making him flinch. He gave me a wide grin, exposing his teeth... _Wooden teeth._

_ Just as I suspected._

"Nice dentures you got there." I was disgusted, "—why the hell would you even wear those?!"  
"It'sh a fashion shtatement." He spoke terrible with those on.

"Haha, nice, now spit it out." I held out a hand, a decision that I might regret. Connor looked at me with puppy dog eyes, "Come on, don't be shy." I said. He slowly let the dentures slip out of his mouth, as if intentionally done to piss me off.

I slapped the back of his head and it popped right out onto my hand. I shuddered once the teeth fell into my hand: wet and covered in slobber.

"Thanks." I scrunched my nose and brought the false teeth to the sitting George, every inch of me shivering. _I should not have done that._

"Here you go George." I presented it to him.

"Thankshh my good man." He mumbled and took the teeth from my hand. I wiped the Connor saliva from my hands on my jacket.

"Listen you might wanna clean it first, you don't know where it had been, and I really mean 'where'." I warned him.

"Nah, it'sh cool." George Washington shoved the drool covered dentures back into his mouth and fixed it into place.

_ I was actually on the verge of blowing chunks._

"That's fucking sick." I was totally grossed out.

"Still got that native taste." He said as he licked the dentures, grossing me out even more. _Oh God why?_

He stood up and dusted off the shattered bits from his pants then wiped the barf stain from his mouth and shoes.

"Look! I'm a ballerina!" He said and we looked down at his waist: the mouth of the vase remained unbroken and still wrapped around his waist, pretty much like a _ballerina tutu_. "—it's been my dream to do ballet!" George did some spins, "And look! The sharp edges can be used to stab people! That's a plus!" He smiled.

"Uh...That's good to know?" I forced out a smile.  
"The only problem is how could I hold my Johnson." He bowed his head in sadness, reaching for his crotch under the porcelain skirt.

"Uhhhh…"

A loud honk of a horn echoed through the parking lot, Link's Subaru Impreza GTI stopped by us and rolled down his window.

"You guys alright?" The elf asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." I said, looking back at Connor and the president who were still totally drained.  
"You broke my vase!" Charlie cried, sitting on Billy's shoulder, mourning over the loss.

"Aw sod off, wanker." I imitated his raspy voice.  
"Now let's get going and why is he wearing a skirt?" Link saw George's new digs.

"I can use it as a weapon." George twirled around. We squeezed ourselves inside the slightly small space of the car.

"So here we are, back in another tight squeeze, feels like yesterday we were in the DeLorean." I said.  
"It WAS yesterday." Anthony said.

"Ohh." I suddenly realized.

"Everyone here?"" Link asked.

"Yeah." We said and Link started the engine, drove out of the lot and onto a busy open road, "Check if we're being followed." We looked at all directions, checking if there was a suspicious-looking character driving behind us, but to our relief, there was none.

"Now, on to more important things." The elf sighed then glued his eyes on the road.

* * *

I rolled down the window and checked out the car roof where George Washington was tied on his belly, spread eagled with his porcelain skirt.

"You sure I can't stay with you in there?" George asked.

The wind brushed against my face, messing up my hair, "It's better there, and besides, you can kill someone with that deadly tutu of yours." I chuckled.  
"Okay, I-AAAGGHH!"

"What?!" I saw his eyes roll back. He was choking on something "George!" He then returned back to normal and looked back at me, eyes red and slightly tearful.

"I swallowed a fly." He smirked.

"You scared the shit outta me." I went back to my seat and rolled up the window.

I stared outside, looking at the buildings, roads and people moving past us, their images became blurred and unclear. Link made a number of turns that I lost track of how many. Soon, the buildings and roads turned into trees and grasses, we were driving in the outskirts of Sacramento, more isolated than the first hiding place.

"We're almost there." Link turned right into a narrow dirt road which led deeper into the forest, it was bumpy and uneven and obviously the ride there wasn't as smooth as silk. Trees around us became more and more prominent, almost covering the sunlight above the car.

We finally stopped on a small spot where the forest surrounded a small hut made out of hardened soil and shaped like a fishbowl with windows and a door dug out. The roof was made from thick stacked branches of banana leaves.

"Where are we?" I asked as I got out of the car."

"To a place that I really don't like but I can guarantee you that'll be safe." Link said. Everyone stepped out of the car, glad to be out of the tight space.

"Uh guys? Can you untie me off of this roof now? I mean we're already here and I have endured stabs of twigs and dozens of rocks in my face while also swallowing more flies on the way." George said. Sgt. Anous untied the rope that was around him.

"Stay here while I go talk to the owner." Link walked to the hut but I followed. We approached the front door and he knocked on the large wooden panel, "Hello? You in there?" He called out but there was no answer.

"Are you sure this is the place?" I asked.

"Yeah." The elf nodded. I walked around the house checking if there were any open windows or doors, but none were. I circled around with my eyes scanning the place looking for Link's 'friend' but I only saw a statue of an old man situated beside the wall, meditating. I proceeded to move around the house but then a small movement in the corner of my left eye made me do a double take.

_ Did I just see the statue move?_

I stepped closer to the marble old man statue and got a closer look: his body all grey, the top of his head was completely bald and only through the sides of his head where long strands of hair grew out almost touching his folded legs. His beard was really thick and long with the tip brushing his crotch. I took a step closer, almost being nose to nose with the ancient figure and my breath brushing against his nose. _I think I'm seeing things._

The statue's eyes shot open, "HELLO!" The figure smiled.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" I let out a girly scream and jumped away, the not-so-much of a statue scared the living shit out of me, my heart skipped a beat. I jolted backward and fell on my back on the ground.

Link went around the house and found me lying on the ground scared shitless, "What?!" He asked, in his hand was his Master Sword.

"I-I t-think I-I-I f-found y-our friend." I held out a shaking finger and pointed to the old man statue. The balding man stood up from his post and waved at Link.

"Damn it old man! How many times did I tell you not to scare my friends?!" Link scolded. The old man bowed his head and picked up a garden hose and washed the grey paint on his body away. He was wearing long plain red robe, he looked at me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

I flinched as soon as his hand touched me since I was still shaken by the incident, "Sorry for scarin' ya, I was just hiding." His soft voice said.

I stood up and shook my head, "J-Just don't do that a-again." I stuttered.

"Now what can I help you with, Link?" The old man turned to the elf.

"I know you give the lamest and unclear advices, but you're our only hope." Link reluctantly said.  
"Yeah, what is it that you need?"

Link bit his lip and forced the words from his mouth, "We need your help to get the other Smosh guys out of Alloy Digital."


	9. Chapter Eight: Billy's Secret

**Anthony Padilla**

I tilted my head upward and stared at the van's ceiling as tears formed at the corner of my eyes. Thoughts clouded my mind, but pain was the most prominent. My entire body cringed, my toes scrunched, my fist pounded continuously on the floor and my feet kept kicking up in the air. _It hurts._

"Calm down, Anthony!" Ian said, but I couldn't the pain was just excruciating, "I told you it would hurt."

"AAAAGH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, shut my eyes and bit my lip, "It hurts!" I yelled as my foot kept kicking but it was no use. I thrashed my hands around the place and caused the van to shake violently.

Ian held me back, "Just give me a minute, I'm almost done, just keep cool." My friend calmed me down, putting his hand on my shoulder then pulling me back closer.

"H-how would I be cool if it really hurts?!" I bellowed, "Whatever just do it quickly, AAAAGGGHHHH!" My hand grasped the seat, digging my nails into its leather cover. I asked myself, _does he know what he's doing?_

He grunted, "Almost there...and...Oh yeah!" He grunted, "—that's a tight fit!" He said out of breath.

We were both catching our breaths, "Thank God that's over!" I sighed, shedding a tear, "So that's what it feels to get your arm in a cast, it fucking hurts like hell." I looked down at my injured arm in the cast, wrapped until below the elbow so it wouldn't end up being useless, my fingers were sticking out of the holes like little sausages.

Ian brushed his bowl hair to one side, "Now, try to move your fingers."

"Okay." I wiggled my fingers, there was still some stinging pain but not as painful as before, "It feels kinda better now."

"Good." Ian smiled, fixing his first aid kit that I accidentally tipped over.

"Thanks, man." I smirked and thanked him.

"No problem, bro." Ian grinned, "—now let's go back and join the others." Ian got out of the van and I did too.

Ian looked down, "Curse you stupid zipper!" he reached for his fly and tried pulling it up, "It always goes down!" He attempted to yank it up again while I shut the van's back doors.

Then after a few grunts, Ian was finally able to zip his fly.

"A-Anthony?" A man-child voice whimpered. Just standing a few feet away from the van was Billy with his mouth hanging open and eye twitching, staring at us in shock, he must've caught Ian pulling up his zipper.

_ This kinda doesn't look good._

"Hey, it's not what you think." Ian said, I think he knew where this was going.

"Don't take this the wrong way." I added, "His fly was just down."

"B-but I heard screams, a-and the van was sh-shaking." He stuttered, face blushing and disgusted.  
"He was just helping me with my arm." Whoops, wrong choice of words, "I mean he was putting—"  
"Uh, i-it's not my business," he interrupted, "l-let's just go and have breakfast." The boy shrugged, he just asked us to come with him. "Next time you're gonna do it make sure no one can hear you." Billy chuckled, bowing down and shaking his head.

_ That was awkward._

We went back to the little hut and circled around back, there our friends sat on a long table, sharing their laughs and cries while eating breakfast: pancakes, eggs and bacon complete with a choice of either hot chocolate or coffee. The delicious smell of hot pancakes and delicious bacon crawled up my nose, making my mouth water and just wanna dive at the center and munch down.

"Mmm! Are those pancakes I smell?" Ian spoke up, calling the attention of everyone on the table.  
"You're just in time sweetie! Come, let's eat." Ian's mom motioned us to sit down which we did gladly. Billy sat down beside George while we sat down between Link and Ian's mom directly opposite the boy. Staring on those scrumptious, syrup-covered pancakes makes me crave for it even more.

The Old man in red served me a set of pancakes of my own, "Eat up, you guys are gonna need it." He smiled.

The shiny sweet syrup dripped down the stacked pieces of pancake and the golden yellow butter melted on top of it. Damn, if those pancakes were girls, I'd totally make love to it all day.

"I can't hold it much longer!" I said. My hand reached for the nearest fork and I just dug in the pancake, placing large slices of it inside my mouth. The moment it touched my tongue, it felt like heaven, those pancakes were one of the best ones I've ever tasted. _I think I had a foodgasm._

"Oh my God! These pancakes are the best!" I said to the old man.

"Add some bacon and there you go! Bacon Pancakes!" Billy sandwiched slices of bacon between two loaves. I could see the joy in his face as his grin was really wide as his propeller hat spun. I looked around the table: George Washington was eating large pieces of bacon but still maintaining some class while he's doing it.

Connor, on the contrary, had his entire face buried in the pancakes, his jaw moving up and down and just going 'omnomnomnom'.

Link, who was sitting to my left, was doing some master sword swinging on his food, "AYYAAHH! HOYAAAHH!" He bellowed.

"Yeah get him Link!" ManSpider cheered, the elf stopped at what he was doing and stared at the guy in tights, then burst out laughing and all of us just laughed along.

"This is so good!" Ian said, "What is it made of?"

The old man smiled, "It's made of premium flour and eggs with milk from the finest cows out there—" He said.

I took another huge bite of the food and savored it till the last chunk.

"—and turtle penis."

We all spat the food out and wiped our tongues on the table cloth.

"What?" The old man asked.

"Nothing." I forced out a smile from my disgusted face.

"So how's your arm, Anthony?" Mrs. Hecox asked.  
"Never been better, thank God your son knows first aid." I said, waving my plastered arm.

"He screamed like a bitch." Ian laughed.

I just sighed, "Alright, don't humiliate me in front of your mom." I controlled my frustration as my cheeks heated up, I was blushing.

"He even cried like a baby." He cackled. I sank my right arm in the cast below the table and smacked it against Ian's belly.

"OW! MY FALLOPIAN TUBE!" Ian cried, cradling his belly with his arms, and bowing down his head. He rose again with tears flowing from his eyes.

"That's what you get, bitch." I snarled at him.

It was a brief moment of happiness.

"Okay guys, enough chit chat, let's plan on how are we gonna pull this stunt." Charlie the drunk guinea pig spoke up and everyone stared at him, their faces turned from happy to serious. We fell silent; the only thing that could be heard was the chirping of the birds and the rustling of leaves.

"The best way is to sneak in." ManSpider said.

"Yeah, dumbass, the question is HOW." Charlie replied. ManSpider's face blushed and sank down to his seat, "So... how?"

"You could use my bombs," the Old man cut in and showed a lit bomb, "All you gotta do is to equip it from your inventory,"

"Shit! Run!" We ran away from the old man.

"Where's everybody going?" He asked.

BOOM!

We found another table and thought out our plan, "We could dress up as guards and sneak right in just like we did last time." Ian said.

"No, they already know our faces. It'll be too easy for them to catch us." I noticed the flaw in his plan. I stared at every one sitting on the table, "Sgt. Anous?" I called the police officer, who still had his face deep inside a mound of bacon.

His head rose up and strips of bacon wer tangled within his bushy mustache, "Yeah?" He spoke up.

"You know the building inside and out, right?" Ian asked.

"Sure." He said while I pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil then drew a horizontal line at the center. I sketched the outline of the building, it was kinda tricky to draw with a cast around my arm, and the drawing ended up like a three year old's doodle.  
"Tell me, are there any doors that we can go through without attracting dicks?" Ian asked.

"How about we distract them?" The old man cut in again.

"NO!" I yelled.

"Nope, every door has at least three armed assholes." He frowned. Everyone shared the same feeling of hopelessness.

"But," The officer interjected, our bowed heads sprang up, "—there is a sewer directly beneath the building."

"That's great! We go through the sewer." I said, drawing two more horizontal lines under the sketch of the building, "And where does it lead to?"  
"Where else? The bathroom, duh." Ian said. The whole gang huddled at the center.

"The sewer is directly under the building's basement parking lot, we can get through there." Anous said.

"Alright." I drew a basement under the building, "Do you know where they kept the prisoners?"  
"No." He frowned.

"It's alright, we got Charlie to tail them." Ian said.

"Me?" Charlie stuttered.

"Yeah, you can fit through anything and can do it unnoticed." I said and Charlie just nodded willingly.

"So it all goes down to this, we park a few blocks away from the building," Ian said as I drew a badly drawn van beside the building and indicated a distance, "—Charlie goes in the pipelines and clear a window for us." I drew a little guinea pig.

"That looks nothing like me!" Charlie said.

"Yeah it looked more like a gerbil than a guinea pig." The balding man in red butts in again.

"Just ignore the damn drawing!" I yelled.

"Sorry about that, okay continue." The British guinea pig said.

"We wait for his signal and we and go down the sewers, going in the building through the basement," Ian drew nine stick persons inside the van and drew an arrow going in the sewer and up the building.

"Ian's mom, you stay behind and keep watch over us, we will leave you with a device that will hack through the building's security cameras once Charlie had gone into the control room, you'll be our eye in the sky." I said, "ManSpider, stay with Ian's mom and protect at all cost." I winked at Mrs. Hecox in which she giggled.

"What about the escape plan?" Billy asked.

"We get in and out quietly." I said.

"How about we find the bad guy and his power glove? We NEED that glove." Ian added

"Maybe we should, they will lead the others out while me and Ian go and find the villain who wants us gone." I replied.

"Link, Connor, you two lead the other guys out of the building, the same way we will come in."

"Okay." The two said together.

"And if anything goes wrong, fight with caution and try not to kill the goons, just hurt them." The rest nodded.

"With all that set, Ian, Connor and Billy, come with me." I motioned for them to come with me while the others dispersed, prepping their weapons and getting changed into something more comfortable and battle ready.

I led the four into an open field; the three of us formed a circle around the boy, clueless of what will happen next.

"Why do you need me, Anthony?" Billy asked, "I could've just been asked to stay with Ian's mom."  
"No Billy, you have a bigger task and with skills you did back there in the house, you can do this." I said before pulling out my spare rock candy lightsaber that I took from one of the goons then placed it on Billy's open palm.

"Now, let's practice, Connor, come here and Ian, lend me your lightsaber." The assassin went beside me and Ian tossed me his hilt before I handed it to Connor.

"I don't know, Anthony." Billy's shoulders raised, he lacked confidence.

"I know you can do it, come on, turn on the sword." I said. Billy pressed the hidden button and a purple glowing lightsaber grew out accompanied with a loud hum. Connor did the same.

"Ooh pretty purple light!" Billy stuck out his tongue and brought it closer to the blade.

"Billy! Focus!" Ian sprayed him with water as if he was a cat. The boy hissed at Ian but he immediately regained his focus.

I brought a small log and placed it in front of him, "Pretend this log is the enemy." I said.

"I don't usually hurt things. I always think they have feelings." The boy was afraid.

"Just show me your best moves." I said. Billy waved the sword in the air, not even hitting the log in front of him.

"C'mon Billy, you did good back there, you even beat them with your eyes closed!" Ian said.

Then I just hatched an idea.

"I have an idea." I walked behind Billy and took out my scarf, wrapping it around the boy's eyes them tying the ends of it on the back of his head.

"What are you doing, Anthony?" Ian asked, slightly confused.

"Billy did better when he wasn't looking and with his eyes closed, so this is what I thought." I smiled and have Billy a pat on the back.

Ian rolled his eyes, "How can he even se—?"

Billy did a clean swipe on the log, cutting a straight line at the center and splitting it into two, his face stayed firm, as focused as a Jedi.

"Unbelievable." Ian's jaw dropped. I detracted my own lightsaber and approached Billy slowly from behind.

His head tilted up, "Who's there?!" Billy turned around and clashed his blade with mine creating a loud sparking noise, "Get away!" He began to duel with me, he was fast and agile, a real shocker from a boy who was clumsy all the time. Even with a blindfold, he could hear from which side I was attacking. _I'm impressed._

Connor snuck behind Billy, but the boy sensed his presence, he shoved me away, turned around then dueled with the assassin, countering his every strike like he did with me earlier.

"Stay away!" Billy whimpered as he clashed swords with Connor, the assassin's face became frightened and surprised, the boy's moves were as close to impossible. In one powerful strike, Billy knocked Connor's blade from his grasp and kicked him to the ground. I ran to Billy and he swung the purple blade around at me in a split second.

I ducked and avoided the swing, "Alright, good job." I said. He stopped and pulled up the blindfold then saw Connor lying on the ground.

"Oh my Gosh! I'm so sorry!" Billy dropped the lightsaber and helped Connor up.

"Unbelievable." Ian joined us and was amazed at the boy's hidden skill, still able to believe at what he just saw. He smiled and put a hand on Billy's head.  
"I told you he can do it." I smiled, putting my arm around Billy's shoulder, his propeller hat turned and his face turned red with happiness.

"So much for a boy with special problems." My friend gave him the widest smile. We returned to the group and everyone had their swords sharpened and guns loaded.

"Everyone ready?" Ian asked.

"You know it." Link said, brandishing his Master Sword.

"Great, we go back to Alloy Digital, tonight."


	10. Chapter Nine: The Plan in Action

**Ian Hecox**

The sun slowly hid behind the tall trees as we get ready for the raid, preparing our gadgets and gizmos by loading them into the van that was provided by the old man. There's no turning back, it's a race against time to save the others, we need to know what caused Alloy Digital to suddenly turn evil and want us captured.

"Ian, come look!" ManSpider called from inside the van.

I approached him, "What is it?" The guy in tights was staring at a laptop screen, face washed with sadness, watching a video.

He turned the computer sideways to I could see, "_YouPorn_?" I saw the pornographic website on his computer screen filled with censored stuff, lots of thumbnails with girl's massive jugs.

"Shit!" He blushed then turned the computer away from me, clicked a button then he showed it to me again: it was a shaky shot of two girls talking, holding cups and standing in their living room, the wide coverage of the camera was able to get their kitchen and the front door into the frame.

"I've watched _2Girls1Cup_ to know where this is going." I mumbled, closing my eyes and turning my head away.

"It's not." He assured.

"You sure?" I kept my eyes shut.

"Just watch it." He said and I went back to watching the video, the girl with long ginger hair smiled and waved at the camera and her quirky actions made my heart skip a beat. _She looks really familiar,_ but the quality of the video made it almost impossible to determine her features.

"Who is that?" I asked, "She looks familiar."

"It's one of our friends, Brittni." He replied. _Brittni Barger_, she played the hot girl in some of our most recent Smosh videos especially the music video, '_The Real Party Song'_, she is both mine and Anthony's friend but it appears that she is much closer to me since she tends to hang out with me more when we're not shooting a video.

"What's that gotta do with us?" I asked.

"This video was a live stream earlier today and look—" ManSpider fast forwarded the video up until the part where Britt and the girl were playing _Just Dance_ on their Xbox. A series of mindless but cute chatter continued when suddenly the front door blew open, surprising the two girls. Outside the door was a figure of a guy in a brown hood, the blurriness of the video pixilated his shape, he looked short to pose as a threat but he had brought some company as three more silhouettes taller than him stood behind.

"What the hell's happening?" I freaked out and Anthony heard my reaction, he then joined us in watching the video.

"Is that Brittni?" Anthony asked, "Who's that guy?!" He pointed to the mysterious figure in the video. We never replied, we just kept our eyes glued to the screen.

In the video the man said in a creepy and dark tone, _"Get her."_ The goons behind him entered the living room, grabbed her by the arms then knocked out the other girl.

Brittni was helpless in the video, _"What the hell do you want from me?"_ She struggled from the two guys holding her.

"_I think you might know where Ian and Anthony is."_ He said.

"_You won't get any information from me!" _ She raised her voice.

"_We know, so we're taking you with us."_ His head nodded at the two guards. One goon brought out a syringe with orange liquid in it and aimed it at her neck.

"_What is that?!"_ The needle went in, she let out a shriek, _"What did you do to me?!"_ She dropped on the ground unconscious.

We watched in horror as we have witnessed one of our friends being taken away. However, the video wasn't over yet, the three goons took Brittni outside while the figure walked closer to the camera up until the shot only got his shoulders and face, but the darkness of the video concealed his identity.

He spoke directly to the camera, _"I know you will watch this soon, Ian and Anthony. I was a little disappointed to not find your bodies among the others in your hideout, so here's my message: There's no point in running, your fates are sealed, you wouldn't stand a chance against us. And soon enough, Smosh will mean nothing. "_ He paused,_"Time is running out..."_ He gave us a glimpse of the power glove on his hand before tipping over the camera and ending the video.

I was petrified, _Time is running out._

_ They have Brittni and the others._

_ "_We have to hurry." I looked up at Anthony.

"Way ahead of you." Link said and we glanced outside: behind the elf were the others, each holding their weapon of choice, locked and loaded for the biggest breakout in Smosh history. I was hesitant at first, but seeing that everyone was ready, especially Billy, the boy with unbelievable Jedi reflexes.

_It's now or never._

I rubbed my hands together, "Let's get this show on the road." The crowd cheered.

* * *

The sun was no longer shining as it was replaced by the moon up the horizon. I had mixed emotions, the feeling of excitement, nervousness, fear, happiness, anger and hunger clouded my mind,it's time to save the others and Smosh, defeat the empire, reclaim Alloy Digital and stop this asshole once and for all.

Link again took charge of driving the van to the designated place where we would begin to infiltrate the building through the sewage system. But first, we need to get our leader inside before we attack: _Charlie the drunk guinea pig._

I stuck a little piece of headset over Charlie's head, "You ready for this, Charlie?" I asked, slightly worried for him.

"Let's get this on, bitches!" My pet smiled. Looks like someone's excited. I strapped on a little helmet on his head with a flashlight on top.

"This is equipped with a small camera so we can see where you're going."

"Aww, you look so cute!" Billy remarked.

"Sod off wanker." Charlie replied.

"Jeez, I was just trying to be nice." Billy shook his head.

I checked my watch and it was more than an hour past the company's 10PM closing time. We finally stopped in an alleyway a few blocks away from the building. I stepped out of the car with my pet in my hands while the others followed suit. The alley was dark enough to conceal our vehicle while we do the job.

"Over here!" Link called out, who was kneeling on the ground and staring at a manhole cover, "Help me lift it." He said, piercing the tip of his Master Sword between the cover then using it to pry open the lid. Connor went to where he was standing and helped him remove the cover; the lid stood on its side and started to topple over.

"The lid! Catch it!" I whispered out loud. George Washington rushed to the falling cover and caught it with his hands, staining his white pants in the process.

"Now how am I gonna wash this?!" He whined, gently placing the metal object on the ground. I handed Charlie to Sgt. Anous then went back to the van to fetch Anthony. _What's taking him so long?_

I opened the back doors, "Anthony, time to—"

My best friend froze, he was blushing and kneeling with a guitar in hand as he serenaded my mother, both seemed to enjoy it.

"Really, man?!" I sighed, "You can do that later, we have to go." I pulled him by his shirt and dragged him outside.

"Call me later, Sharon!" He blew a flying kiss at her which made me cringe. As planned, my mom and ManSpider stayed behind in the van, while we gathered around the dark manhole.

"Who's going in first?" Link asked.

"Me and Charlie, I'll take him to the pipe entrance and you wait for my signal." I said, taking the guinea pig from Sgt. Anous.

"Hey guys?" Billy spoke up, and caught our attention, he was standing behind us with night vision goggles strapped on his head, but the main goggles were not properly worn, it was backwards. He walked towards us, "—can anyone help me with these?" He treaded closer to the deep manhole.

"Billy, watch where you're going!" Connor grabbed Billy's shirt as his foot stepped near on the edge, any step further would've ended up with him swimming in filth.

"Let me fix that." Connor adjusted the goggles on his face.

"Thanks." Billy pats the assassin's shoulder then walked another step.

"Billy!"  
"AAAAHHHHH!" A loud thud ended his scream.

"Oh shit!" Link stuck his head in the dark sewer, "Billy! Are you alright?!" His voice echoed.

"I'm okay!" He grunted, "—my coccyx."

I sighed, "Now it's me, Billy and Charlie."

Link pulled a red flare from his pocket then smacked the butt of it on the ground, emitting a bright red fire from its other end.

"Billy, catch!" Link dropped the flare in the hole and as it fell, its light illuminated the dark tunnel, only for us to notice that the ladder leading down was broken, eaten away by rust.

"What? OW IT BURNS!" The flaming tip of the flare landed on the boy's arm, "OOOW!" Then the flare fell in the sewage, extinguishing the light.

"We're coming in, it's only a four foot drop." I strapped on a backpack then dangled my foot in the dark entrance, the foul odor of week-old sludge crawled up my nostrils. I put on a nose clip and prepared for the drop, "Close your eyes." I said to my pet, putting him in my loose pocket. Then I dropped in and fell into the dark abyss with my mind imagining the scariest things that my lurk in the dark, _Scumbag brain. _

After a few seconds my foot landed on something dry, a platform beside the river of sludge. I turned on my lightsaber, lighting the tunnel in a blue hue.

"Billy? Where are you?" I called out. The darkness of the tunnel made it scary, like a cliché horror movie setting, with light only coming from my sword, "Billy!"

"I'm here." He wheezed, turned out I was standing on his back.

"Oh shit, sorry!" I jumped off of him and reached out a hand and helped him stand up.

"You alright?" I asked, dusting him off.

"I think so." Billy said, pinching his nose shut. I handed him another nose clip. "Thanks." He clipped his nose then detracted his sword, illuminating the sewer in purple.

"Where's the night vision goggles?" I asked.

"Well..." Billy looked down the turned around, the goggles were smashed and in between his butt cheeks, "I sat on it." He bowed his head, "I'm sorry." His face racked with guilt.

"It's okay, nevermind that." I unfolded a map I took from my pocket, "According to the sewage system, we go past two corners then make a left then a right and after that we're gonna be directly underneath the building." I said.

"Well let's go then!" The boy replied. I unzipped my bag and took out a little battery-operated lamp, turned it on then placed it on the floor.

"What's that?" The boy asked.

"So we don't lose our way back." I smirked.

"Alrighty." Billy held his saber that lit the dark sewer then took the lead.

We followed the map by walking on the metal bridges along the tunnel, safely away from the river of goo, all while leaving more lamps along the way as a guide for the others. Soon enough, Alloy Digital was just above our heads.

"We're here." I said. Right above us was the solid concrete floor of the basement, riddled with pipes where the waste goes away to.

"Here, take Charlie for a while." I handed the guinea pig to the boy then brought the tip of my sword at a thick pipe but paused when I saw Billy standing directly under it.

"Billy, you might wanna get out of the way or else you'll be bathing in shit." I said.

Billy jolted then moved away and I resumed, slicing a small opening on the pipe and letting the flood of sewage spill on the floor draining the pipeline.

I placed a tiny green flash drive under Charlie's hat, "You can do this Charlie, make your way to the control room and put that chip in the main CPU and my mom will be able to hack most of the cameras in the entire building." I clicked on the light on his little helmet.

"Let's do this." Charlie said.

"Good luck, Charlie." Billy smiled and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Here I go, poofs." The guinea pig announced over the headset as I gently raised him up the hole in the pipe letting him crawl inside.


	11. Chapter Ten: Alloy Digital

**Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig**

"Wish me luck." I said as Ian raised me up the opening he cut through the pipe. My stubby toes felt the mushy inside of the drainage system, the mixed smell of poop and piss stank and the smell was too strong for my honker. I returned back to the opening, "Can you give me a nose clip? I think I may not make it alive up there." I choked.

"Oh, I forgot." Ian dug his hand in his pocket, then clipped my nostrils.

"Thanks." I said and began crawling deeper into the tunnel, the light on my head shone on the walls, brownish green masses stuck on the surface.

"Now this is what I call a shitstorm." I crawled into the dark straight pipe that seemed endless, filled with sludge all around with my bare toes sinking deep into them.

The pipe became narrower, my fur brushed against the walls and to make matters worse, I have a slight fear of closed spaces, being trapped in one gives me panic attacks as I would always imagine the walls closing in and squeezing the air outta me.

"U-uh I-Ian?" I stopped crawling, the size of the pipe only big enough to fit me inside.

_"Yeah, buddy?"_ Ian's voice came from the headset clipped to my ear.

"The pipe became smaller and you know I'm scared of tight spaces." I whimpered.

_ "Oh shit."_ He said, _"Just remain calm, you can do this."_

"I-I don't th-think I can." My mind began playing tricks on me and the walls of the pipe seemed to close in, "Help, l-let me out." I whimpered.

_ "You can do this."_ Ian said.

I gasped for air, my claustrophobia is making me want to freak out and retreat, "Please, l-let m-me out, I-I can't do this." I cried, in any second I would scamper back to the opening, but there's something pushing me to continue.

_ "Don't panic,"_ Billy's voice came from the earpiece, _"Just imagine you're not crawling through a deep and dark pipe that could possibly get even smaller and get you stuck and could never get you out."_

"THAT'S NOT FUCKING HELPING!" I bellowed.

_ "I believe you can do it."_ Ian said.

"I-I don't know."

_"Listen, you are the bravest guinea pig an owner could have, and I'm glad to have found you in that dumpster, even though you've been a pain in the ass but I believe you can do this, do this for the guys."_ He calmly said, _"—you even killed the landlord dozens of times."_

"H-help me." I pled, my entire body shaking and the beam of my flashlight also shook violently. At the far end of the pipe, it stopped going horizontal but started going upwards, it was a full vertical shaft.

_"You're our only hope in saving the others."_ Ian said, his tone became soft as if to convince me.

"I-I c-can't."

Ian sighed, _"You know what? If you get this job done, I'll give you a week's supply of booze."_

There, he said the five letter magic word.

My ears moved, "Say what?" I asked him to repeat, I could be hearing things.

_ "I said I'll give you booze."_ He repeated.

"BOOZE?!"

_"Yeah."_ He replied.

I shook my head then started walking again, "Alloy Digital, here I come!" I pushed forwards.

_ "Good boy!"_ Ian and Billy exclaimed.

The damp pipe became vertical, leading upwards where a clean white object blocked my entry point. "The pipe now leads vertical, if only I have opposable thumbs." I said.

_ "There's a little grappling hook in your hat, I've figured you might use it."_ Ian said.

"There is?" I tapped my hat on the ceiling and suddenly, a little three-pronged grappling hook emerged from the side, "Awesome hat." I remarked, looking upwards then pressing a tiny button on my hat, shooting a length of rope upwards.

"C'mon!" I watched the hook travel up the shaft; the hook caught an edge, right next to the end of the tunnel.

"Oh yeah!" I bellowed, "Going up!" I said to the guys back outside.

_ "Great!"_ Ian said, _"I knew we could count on you!"_

_ "YAAAAY!"_ Billy cheered. I pressed another button and the machine inside my hat began pulling the rope back in and pulling me upwards, up the damp, dirty and shitty pipe. But the way up there was really slow.

"Can't this go any faster?" I pressed another button and I was pulled at a fast rate, my body whiplashing upon the powerful tug.

"TOO FAST! TOO FAST!" I shrieked, reaching out for another button and a sound of electronic malfunction came from it... _This is bad._

"OH SHIIIIITTT!" The end of the pipe drew closer, its image became bigger and bigger, my fur collecting as many sludge on the sides as I was rapidly pulled up, any moment I was gonna hit. I just prepared for it, closing my eyes and waiting for my head to clash against the thing blocking my way.

I screamed my lungs out, but there was no crash and I was only thrown upwards, my foot felt a flat surface instead of the 90-degree sheer drop before.

"Am I dead?" I said before opening my eyes finding out that I landed on a curved white circular tunnel that was connected to the other pipe's end. I tapped my foot on its surface and it was made of porcelain. Right in front of me was light, _I'm nearly there. _

"_Charlie? Charlie?! Are you alright?!"_ Ian's voice came from the mini headset clipped to my ear, _"What happened? We lost the video feed from your helmet."_

"I'm alright, just a little helmet malfunction but I'm nearly inside, there's an opening in front of me leading upwards again." I replied.

"_Good, good, you're almost there."_ I removed the hook that was still stuck on the edge then retracted it back into my hat.

"Here I go." I resumed crawling, the light in front of me curved upwards, then curved horizontally again, forming a C shape. I reached out to the upper level then got up with little effort and there in front of me was the exit to this scary passageway.

I was relieved, the ordeal is almost over. I hurriedly crawled into the opening as the blinding light entered my eyes, making me shut them close again. I took off my nose clip and breathed in the clean air but it wasn't really pleasant and the smell of air was familiar, it's like I've been in this place before, the familiar smell of chlorine, soap, and _stale urine._

I realized that I was standing at the bottom of a toilet, the oval porcelain rim with little holes underneath them to flush down crap and the round plastic toilet seat sitting on top of it.

"Shiiiiit, this is fucking nasty." I cringed then climbed off the toilet, jumping on the cold tiled floor. My head peeped outside the stall, checking if the coast is clear and luckily, it was.

I crawled outside and in front of me was the tiled sink of the restroom with a big mirror glued to the wall mirroring the stalls. I searched for any little vents but there were none, my next option was to look for a door and there it was to my right, slightly opened and enough for one drunk guinea pig to go through. I quickly went to the door, but noticing that there were no signs of urinals inside the restroom.

"Looks like this isn't the gents' room," I reported to the guys back in the sewer, "—next time I'll go through that way when there are hot babes using the loo." I smirked then got out of the room.

"_You little pervert, next time bring a camera and take pictures."_ Ian chuckled.

I went out of the restroom and found myself in a corridor leading to a larger room. I got out of the passageway and was now standing in the main lobby of the building: at the center of the huge place was a pond and at the middle of it was where the huge chrome-painted metal letters bearing the words _'ALLOY DIGITAL' _rested, dimly lit by the spotlights coming from the floor. There were no fountains as of now since the place was closed for the night.  
"I'm at the main lobby." I whispered into the headset.  
_ "Okay, now Sgt. Anous said that the control room is just on the same floor, at the far east of the building."_ Billy instructed.

"_Watch out for guys in black."_ Ian warned.

"I will." I went to the right of the lobby, circling the place but cautiously treading to not make a sound. Around the corner was the main door where three figures stood, two tall guys and a short dude. All three were armed with guns, guarding the main entrance.

"I wonder what the boss will do to those Smosh guys." One of the tall dudes spoke up.

"I dunno, probably gonna keep them captive for the rest of their lives." The short one replied.

"Cool."

I silently crawled behind the main counter near the main doors, still eavesdropping on the three men.

"I overheard that the boss will use them to build an army." The other tall guy said.

_ "'An army'?_" Ian whispered from the headset, _"An army for what?"_

"What Army?" The goon asked.

"I'm not sure, but it's a rumor that everyone in this building had been talking about lately, says that it's top secret but it's just a rumor." He laughed.

"Or is it?" The other goon added.

"I have a bad feeling about this." I whispered while crawling to the other wall and safely hiding from the goons' view, I looked back at them to make sure I had gone unnoticed and thankfully I managed to get past them discreetly.

"I better hurry before I—" I bumped onto a tall wooden circular table, causing it to go off balance and tip to one side, knocking over the vase sitting on it.

SMASH! The vase shattered.

"What was that?" A goon said.

"It came from over here." Footsteps soon approached where I was standing along with beams of flashlights. I scampered away from the incoming men, going around the corner and narrowly escaping them. I checked back at the guys investigating the vase, all three were crouched down next to it.  
"Must've been a rat." One said.

"Don't worry, Sparky will take care of it." Another scoffed, "The pesky rat will be dead meat in no time."

I backed away from the corner then continued my way to the control room, only to bump into another table, "Damn it, please no more vases." I said.

Then a drop of warm liquid fell on my nose, but it wasn't water, it was sticky and thick. In front of me also wasn't a wooden table, but a pair of thick meaty paws covered in black fur. My eyes slowly made its way up the meaty thigh spotting a shiny collar around its neck with a little yellow diamond shaped tag at the center with a word engraved on it:

_'SPARKY'_

"S-so, you must be Sparky." I trembled as my eyes met his, the bloodshot eyes, the scary bulldog face and foamy mouth._Run Charlie, Run._

"U-Uh, I-I guess I-I should be going now, n-nice t-to meet y-you, S-Sparky." I stuttered then ran as fast as I can away from the dog. Sparky began barking then gave chase, running after me as his loud barks echoed inside the lobby. I kept running, my heart was pounding out of my chest as I felt the dog catching up, his growls became louder.

"What the hell did I get myself into?!" I went into the mini store just beside the main lobby, bursting through the door then crawling under a table, but the dog just tipped it over and continued to go after me. I don't know how long I can keep running, this was tiring me out.

In a strike of luck, there was a little stepladder beside the cashier counter. I made no second choices and quickly jumped on top of it then climbing on the counter filled with boxes nearly being bitten by the dog. His barks continued as he tried reaching for me on the table, jumping up and down.

Right outside the store were beams of light approaching the door. I searched the table, opening the boxes resting on top by ripping off their tapes. I opened one and inside it was just folded stacks of Smosh t-shirts, I tried another one and this time it was filled with ladies' thongs.

"Why the hell would Smosh need these?!" I spoke to the headset.

"_Uh, no reason."_ Ian sheepishly replied.

"But I want one." I got one and set it aside then checked the third box that had a lot of Charlie plush toys.

"Perfect." I got one and rolled it over to the edge, "Here, Sparky." I pushed the toy off the edge and it fell into the dog's mouth. Sparky lashed the toy around as wild as possible, ripping the seams and exposing the cotton stuffing.

"Jeez, that could've been me." I watched in horror as the doll was torn to shreds, mangled beyond recognition. I went down the ladder and quietly snuck around Sparky and his toy, making it to the door where the goons will be coming in sooner.

The three dudes barged through the double doors, giving me a way to escape; I ran outside the cafeteria and ended up back in the lobby.

"That was a close one." I gasped for air, "Where's the control room again?"

"_Beside the elevators, there should be a small hallway that leads to the restrooms and the control room's just up a couple of stairs just beside the ladies'."_ Billy replied.

"W-wait, there's only one restroom in here, and that's where I came from." I realized.

"_That's the place!"_ Billy exclaimed.

"But I thought it was on the FAR EAST of the building?" I became confused.

"_Yeah, Far East? The other side of east, the one directly opposite it?"_Billy stated.

"You mean WEST?" I sighed.

"_Yeah! West! I keep forgetting the name!"_

"You mean I circled the lobby and got chased by a dog for nothing?!" I was furious.

"_Ooohhhh..."_ That's what all he could say.

"Nevermind, I'm going there." I shook my head in disbelief. _Billy you dumb moron._

I returned in front of the ladies' restroom door, and took a little walk to the right that led me to flight of stairs where a plain white door was with no label. I climbed up and pushed the door open: the place was dark, lit only by a number of TV screens hanging on the wall and where a goon was sitting on a soft office chair, inclined backwards with both feet on the table and mouth wide open, letting out a snore.

"Wow, so this is what they call 'maximum security'." I rolled my eyes, making it to the main CPU and plugging in the green flash drive Ian gave me earlier. I radioed them in, "It's done, let's get a move on, poofs!"


	12. Chapter Eleven: The Break In

**Anthony Padildo**

Half an hour had passed, we stayed in the alleyway waiting for the go signal as random situations flashed in my thoughts, almost all of them were 'what ifs': What if Charlie got caught or stuck in the pipes? What if the company knows of our break in? What if they did not make it to spot where we would be going through? What if I made out with Ian's mom right now? _That last one's a good idea._

I sat on top of a trash bin, dangling my feet a few inches from the ground and swinging them like what most people would do. Connor was teaching Sgt. Anous some assassin moves but the police officer always failed hilariously in trying them and ManSpider laughed at his every goof. George Washington was left inside the van, feet up the table and hat on his face, taking a little nap while waiting for the six screens to go live as soon as Charlie does what he's tasked.

"What's taking them so long?" Link was walking in circles, anxious and nervous.

"Give them time." Ian's mom stopped the elf from walking by holding his shoulders, "Patience, Link, they can do this, all you could do is remain calm." She told everyone.

"It's just that I'm worried for the others." Link sighed.

"Don't worry, we will rescue them." I said, jumping down from the trash bin, "—there'll be back faster than you can say: _'Supercalifragilisticextrabootylicious.'"_

Suddenly, a static noise came from the van's radio, startling everyone of us, "_Anthony? Mom? Is anyone there? Come in?"_ Ian's distorted voice said and his tone gave me chills, like there's something wrong.

We scrambled back to the van to listen, "Ian! Ian! Everything alright?" I said to the radio.

"_I-I dunno."_ His voice stuttered, making me worry even more.

"What's wrong?" I asked, our worst fear could be realized.

_ "I need your help, OH MY GOD NOOOOO!" _Ian screamed accompanied by a series of growling noises and pleas for help, "_HEEEELP!"_

Everyone gasped and Ian's mom started crying as we heard the growls of their unknown attacker.

"IAN!" I could only hear his cries, "That's it! I'm going in there!" I picked up my lightsaber and a flashlight.

_ "Wait!"_ Ian's weak voice mumbled, stopping me in my tracks.

I went back to listen, "What is it, buddy?" I'm actually dying of nervousness right now.

"_Bring... AMBERLAMPS, and a new pair of pants because Billy fell into a pile of shit."_ He said, followed by his and Billy's burst of laughter through the radio.

My jaw dropped, "You fucking bitch." I chuckled, "You had us worried!" I shook my head.

_ "GOT YA!"_ Billy spoke.

"So what's the status?" I asked as everyone listened carefully.

"_Uh, Charlie was successful in his mission fifteen minutes ago? Didn't you see the monitors in the van go live?"_ My friend said.

I glanced at the monitors but there was no display, only static, "We can't see anything." I said.

_ "What? It's supposed to go live as soon as he plugged in the flash drive."_

"Well—" I checked the screens again if there were any problems in the monitors, inspecting their plugs if there were any loose wires, "—the wires here are okay, how come we're not getting any signal yet?" I kept on inspecting the connections.

_ "Have you checked the main cable? A black wire that has three prongs?"_ Ian asked.

At the center of the screens was a hole with three smaller holes, "Bingo, the main cable is missing." I searched the table top for the wire and the noises I was making didn't even wake up the snoring president who had his feet still up on the table, "Looks like someone is having a good night's rest." I rolled my eyes.

Then something caught my attention: resting under one of the chair's feet was a black wire with three prongs. _There you are, you little bitch._

But it appears to be stuck, but I couldn't care less. I forcefully yanked the cord from beneath George, tipping over his chair. His eyes shot open as he fell backwards, "WHOA!" he landed on his back and let out a little shriek. "Tacos." He mumbled, lazily sitting up.

"Alright, the cameras will be live in about—" I plugged the cable into the socket, "—now."

All monitors displayed different areas of the building: camera one had the basement parking where the camera had a fish eye view almost getting enough coverage of all the four corners of the lot.

"That's the place we're going through?" Link pointed to the basement footage and I nodded. Another monitor showed us the live recording of the main lobby: the massive fountain at the center, the shiny white tiles and three goons standing guard near the front doors. The monitor beside it had the video of the third floor hallway with lots of doors along the sides. The fourth screen had the video of the second floor cafeteria.

"Cameras One to Four is live, waiting for the Fifth and Sixth." Ian's mom said.

And once the fifth screen turned on, it caught our attention: it was footage of a hot blonde girl doing yoga on a mat showing off her sweet butt under that thin yoga pants, not to mention her amazing flexibility.

"DAAAAAYUM!" Our jaws dropped upon seeing that magnificent ass, we held back our drools.

"Whoops! Wrong channel!" Connor said, reaching out and pressing a button on the screen that switched the monitor back to the live footage of Alloy Digital's fourth floor _Smosh Games HQ_. "Sorry, I was watching that earlier." He blushed.

"Dammit Connor, we were watching that!" Link wiped the drool from his chin with his sleeve.

"Well, why didn't you show us that earli– ew, George, will you please stop drooling on my hand?" My hand that was on the table was covered in saliva.

"Sorry." The president wiped my slobber covered hand.

"Focus everybody!" Ian's mom shut us up. The sixth and final monitor's display turned on: the fifth floor of the building where it had the spacious studio we would film either our Smosh Games videos or Smosh episodes. There at the far end of the room, a group of people scattered, either sitting on the couch, standing or curled up in the corner.

"Zoom in on them." I asked Ian's mom. She pressed a button on the keyboard and focused the lens on the group, zooming in and getting a clear view of their faces.

I was able to make out their faces: _Mari, Sohinki, Cletus, That Damn Neighbor, Brittni, Boxman _and_ The Metrosexual Hipster._

"It's the guys!" I blurted out and everyone looked at the screen.

"Where are the others?" Link asked, "I know that's not all of them, where's Ash and half of the Smosh Games?"

"That's what we're gonna find out, let's go!" I commanded and everyone started moving, grabbing their respective weapons and flares. I hopped off the van but stopped halfway, turned around and faced Ian's mom who will be left with ManSpider in the van. I walked back to her and held her hand, "Will you be okay here?" I asked her, staring into her ocean blue eyes.

She smiled, "Yeah I will, and I'll be monitoring your every move in there."

I gave her a wink then let go of her hand, time to move, "Take care of Ian's Mom, Manspider!" I warned the guy in tights.

Our group followed the lamps left by Ian until we were able to get to them. Ian and Billy were waiting for us just above a pipe that was cut open.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked.

"Sgt. Anous?" He called the police officer who was standing behind me.

"Yeah?" He went up front, putting his gun back to its holster and brushing his mustache, "As far as I can remember, we are directly underneath the basement parking—" He said, "—we just need something to slice through that thick layer of concrete." He pointed up.

"Lightsabers." Ian said, "Mom? Are you there? Do you copy?"

"_I can hear you loud and clear, momma's boy"_ She insulted him as her voice transmitted to everyone's headset. We snickered.

"Come on, really?" Ian sighed, "Is the basement parking clear?"

"_There's one guard at the far end of the lot, but it's highly unlikely that he will notice that if you were to drill a hole far away from where he's standing, but where are you located exactly?"_

"I dunno." I replied, "We'll have to do it now."

"Excuse me, driller coming through." George Washington cut in, bringing along big long drill with him. He pressed the tip of the drill at the ceiling and started drilling upwards, creating clouds of dust. He suddenly stopped and looked at us, "A little help here?" Connor and Link gave him assistance at pushing the drill upwards.

After a couple of minutes of deafening metal vs. concrete drilling, "It's through!" Connor said, they pulled the machine out of the way and then I moved in and stuck my sword through the hole, burning through it, "I'm gonna start cutting—"

_ "STOP!"_ Ian's mom shrieked.

"What?" I halted then pulled out the blade.

_ "Your lightsaber is just beside the guard's foot, I saw it light a few inches from his shoe."_ She warned.

"Well, we can't find another way in, it'll take more time." Ian said, pressing the earpiece into his ear.

_ "There's no option left, you have to find another way in." _Mrs. Hecox said. There's no way we could lead the goon away from his spot, we need to find someplace else.

"Any chance that you can link our conversation with Charlie's?" Link asked, "Maybe he could help us."

"_Charlie just linked himself in our radio."_ Ian's mom uttered.

"_Oi, Ian, Anthony?"_ Charlie's raspy British voice came from our headset, "_Any reason why my headset wasn't linked to the other guys'?"_ He asked.

We looked a Connor as he was supposed to link Charlie's headset with ours, "Oops, I forgot." The assassin admitted.

The guinea pig sighed, _"Anyways, continue what you're doing."_ He ordered, _"Slice open the concrete!"_

"But there's a guard right above—"

"_Don't worry about the guard. I put in a whole bottle of laxatives in his coffee earlier right after I hacked the security system."_ He chuckled, _"He'll be using the loo in about... NOW."_

"_Charlie's right! The goon is running towards the bathroom! Move in people!"_ Mrs. Hecox exclaimed.

"_The best part is, I mixed up the keys to the bathroom with the others."_ The drunk guinea pig laughed.

"Great thinking, Charlie!" Billy said.

"Yeah, thanks Charlie." Ian smiled, "Looks like someone's getting booze later."

"BOOOOOOZE!" The guinea pig chanted.

George drilled three more holes a little further from the first one, forming the corners of a square. "Your turn." He said, giving me, Ian and Billy the honors.

I turned to Billy, "Let's play a game." I smiled at him, "It's called _Connect the dots_. You see that hole?" I pointed up to one on the ceiling and Billy nodded, "—all you gotta do is draw a straight line with your lightsaber and connect it to the other dot, got it?"

"I love connect the dots!" The boy's hat started spinning again, his eyes filled with excitement and tears of joy.

"Awesome." I said. We assumed our positions, I stood under one hole, Ian stood by my left while Billy stood beside Ian, forming a triangle.

"What about the fourth?" Billy asked.

"May I join you?" Link stepped up, standing in front of me, excited about the action that was about to unfold.

I wrinkled my forehead, "You don't have a—"

Link suddenly detracted a green lightsaber shaped like his master sword, "I'm sorry, what did you say about not having a lightsaber?" The elf smirked, putting his hand up to his ear as if to insult me.

"I guess I'm wrong." I laughed, "Alright, in the count of three, we poke the hole and start slicing, okay?" I instructed, "Safety glasses on." We pulled down our glasses over our eyes.

"YAAY!" Billy cheered.

"In three... two... ONE!" Our lightsabers went through the drilled holes and we began marching forward, dragging the saber across the cement creating sparks and burning a line on the thick concrete. I moved towards where Link once stood, whereas Link walked towards where Billy had started and same goes with him and Ian. Our strengths were put to the test as we were also cutting through steel reinforcements inside the solid floor and melting the pipes that were on it.

"COME ON!" I yelled, dragging my rock candy blade towards the end point still slicing the concrete ceiling and sparking bright lights. _This is tougher that I thought._

"How long till the end?!" Ian grunted as he also struggled to cut the through the ceiling.

"I can't push it any longer!" Billy cried. I was also on the verge of stopping. My hands grew tired and created calluses on my palms and the blade was shaking as it travelled through the thick steel in between.

Then a pair of hands pushed my back, it was Sgt. Anous offering a helping hand. "Connor!" The policeman yelled, "Go and help Billy!" Connor did as he was told and helped Billy in pushing his sword all the way.

George ran at Link, "Don't help me, I can do this, help Ian!" He struggled. Bright flashes of light filled the sewers, along with our screams of struggle.

"ALMOST THERE!" I watched as my blade drew nearer to the drilled hole. I felt the strong push of the policeman on my back, "Closer! Closer! You guys almost done?" I called for the other three.

"We're nearly there!" Ian and George said.

"Same here!" Link replied.

"Billy?"

"Connor, you're pushing me the wrong way!" Billy shrieked, the assassin was pushing Billy diagonally instead of straight, missing the end hole. The assassin ran to the boy's front and pushed him back to the end. "I'm almost there too!" Billy yelled, marching backwards.

"As soon as we make it to the holes, everyone step out of the way, or you'll be squashed!" I said, "Now together."

All of our lightsabers reached their respective points at the exact same time, "EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE WAY!" We dived away from the chunk of concrete we had cut. Then the entire piece of concrete gave way, falling on the floor collapsing into piles of rocks upon impact before creating a cloud of dust.

I coughed then fanned it from my face, "Everyone alright?" I checked on them, "Ian? Billy? Link? Connor?"

"We're alright." Ian replied, brushing his dusty black jacket and his bowl hair that had turned white. Billy shook the dust off like a dog, wagging his entire body.

"_You boys alright?"_ Ian's mom asked.

"Yeah, never better. We're going in." I replied before climbing up the large hole and peeking inside the parking lot: there were no cars in sight and it was empty and brightly lit. I searched around and fortunately, there were no guards in sight. I pulled myself out of the sewer and into the basement, "The coast is clear, let's move." I reached out a hand and helped the others up.

"Everybody here?" I did a head count, all seven of us were out of the sewer, "Move quietly and discreetly, guys." They nodded.

"YAAAAY!" Billy jumped.

Link quickly covered his mouth, "Anyone got duct tape to cover his mouth?"

"Wait guysh!" George stopped us, "I losht my wooden teethhh again." All eyes were turned to Connor, who was biting his lip and avoiding our stare.

"Goddammit Connor!" Ian grabbed the assassin's neck and choked him, using his bare hands to pry his mouth open, "Give the man his teeth back!"


	13. Chapter Twelve: Missing Link

**Ian Hecocks**

Next step: Save the guys. We were now inside the basement parking of Alloy Digital where huge rectangular fluorescent lights dangled on the ceiling, fully lighting its dull gray surroundings: two columns of rectangular pillars making five rows inside the whole parking lot and leading to the sealed entrance for cars. We searched for a way out of this place and into higher floors above.

"There's the stairs!" Billy extended his arm pointing to a door at the far end of the place located near the restrooms directly opposite us.

We dashed across the place, running as fast as we could when the male restroom door suddenly opened, making us scatter and taking our own hiding places in the parking lot. Anthony and Billy joined me in hiding behind a column just beside the restrooms. We pressed our backs against it and tried not to make a sound. The remaining four separated: Link hid behind a pile of boxes, George in a cylindrical trash bin, Connor stood beside another pillar near ours and Sgt. Anous behind a different column.

I snuck a peak at the restroom and a shadow of a man appeared to be going outside the place. The guard had finished taking a dump.

"What are we gonna do?" Anthony whispered, scooting away from the corner.

"I have a plan." I said, motioning them to follow me inside the men's room.

"This is not the time to go." Anthony scolded.

"Will you just shut the fuck up and follow me?!" I shushed him and he whimpered. I told the others to stay put before leaving the hiding place taking Anthony and Billy with me, circling the goon and avoiding his sights. We reached the restroom, I pushed open the door and it looked like someone forgot to flush.

"Hey guys, why are we—?" Billy suddenly trips on the trash can near the doorway.

CRASH! The metal bin fell on the floor, creating a loud bang that echoed inside the parking lot and startling the goon. I quickly grabbed the boy's shirt and pulled him inside, putting my hand over his mouth then shutting the door behind us.

"Who's there?" The guy in black called out, it was then followed by a series of footsteps coming our way.

"Great, now we're gonna get caught!" Anthony was restless.

"I'm sorry!" Billy mumbled under my hand.

"No, you did good." I said, "We need him to come to us."

"What?! You want us to be caught?!" My friend trembled, putting his hand over his head and breathing heavily. He was having those panic attacks again.

I turned to my friend and shook his shoulders, "Will you please calm down and let me handle this?!" I searched for the stall that the guard had just used, kicking open the first door among the three. It was the second one that had the smelly poop. "I hope my bad luck with toilets hasn't run out." I reached for the flush and pulled it down and it started making the same strange noises: the water rose along with the waste swimming in it. I ran out of the stall before shutting its door then hiding under the sink with Billy and Anthony.

The door opened. _Just in time._

The goon stepped in, searching the place, "Is anyone there?" He asked, cocking his handgun, slowly treading inside.

The middle cubicle made a loud noise.

"I know you're in there." He said, moving closer to the stall. He kicked down the door only to find the noisy toilet with no one in it.

My adrenaline raced, I kicked myself out of my hiding place, ran towards him then shoved him inside. I snatched his gun from his grasp then pulled the door close.

"WHAT THE HELL?! LEMME OUT!" He shouted, attempting to rip the door open. Anthony and Billy joined in and held the door in place. "Let me out!" He screamed, banging and kicking on the door.

"What are we gonna do now?!" Anthony bellowed.

I grunt, "Wait for it..."

BOOM!

"AAAAARRRGGHHH!" The goon screamed in terror. We let go of the door then stepped backwards. The stall opened with the goon screaming like a little girl, his black uniform and face stained by his own excrement. "My eyes!" He shrieked and attempted to rub it off of his face, but it only made it worse. He walked outside with his arms both raised trying to feel his way out, "I can't see!"

Billy placed his two fingers and thumb on the goon's neck and squeezed it, applying pressure, _"Go to sleep, go to sleep," _He sang in a lullaby. The guard's knees buckled, he knelt on the floor then fell face first, unconscious.

"Whoa, where did you learn how to do that?" I asked, literally unable believe what he had just done. _This boy's got skillz._

"I've been watching a lot of martial arts videos." The boy smiled.

"One guard down, a lot more to go." I said, "C'mon." I walked to the door only to notice that Anthony wasn't following us, he was crouched near the unconscious guard with his phone out, taking selfies.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked.

"Duh, I'm taking a selfie." Anthony glanced at me then back at his phone, making wacky expressions after every camera shutter.

"HashtagAfterSwimmingInPoop!" He stood up then went to the other side then took an overhead selfie, including me and Billy in the photo, "Hashtag BeatUpThisGuy! Hashtag IanPissedOff!" I never smiled in his picture.

"Let's just go, please?" I pulled his shirt and tugged him outside the restroom, "Guys, we're clear." I called the others, who rose from their hiding places.

"Uh, can anyone help me?" George Washington said, "I'm stuck, damn ballerina tutu." He was stuck waist down inside the narrow trash bin.

"Not again." I sighed, "Good thing this parking lot is not sloped and won't turn you into a giant rolling pin."

"What is it with you and tight spaces?" Anthony rolled his eyes.

"I like it tight, if you know what I mean." The president winked. We helped him get off by slicing the can open.

* * *

Our group snuck into the stairs, silently making our way up. It only gone up one level, there were no more stairs to go up. I pushed the door open a little bit and peeked through and I was greeted by a familiar sight: _The main lobby._

"We have reached the main lobby, mom." I radioed in.

"_The three guards are scattered around, one is near the main entrance, one is in the mini store and the last one is in the balcony of the second floor."_ My mom said.

_ "Hey watch out, there are three guards and a dog in there. You better deal with the dog first."_ Charlie advised through our earpiece.

"How?"

"We need some kind of diversion for the dog." Link joined in our conversation.

"Who?" Billy asked.

There was a brief moment of silence, we were looking at each other on who will be the dog bait.

"_Ah screw all of you, I'll do it!"_ Charlie complained, "_I'll distract the dog while you deal with the guards."_

I laid out the plan for my group, "Connor, you need to take out that guy standing on the balcony, he's their eye in the sky and if he catches us, it's game over."

"How?" The assassin asked.

"You shoot the mofo in the throat with your bow." I said.

"That's my thing!" He jumped in excitement, pulling his bow and arrow from his back.

"Once you hear the dog chase Charlie, we move in: Connor shoots the guy up top, Link deals with the one near the door, George Washington knocks out the last guy in mini store."

"_Okay here I go."_ Charlie mumbled. Then the sounds of a dog barking filled the lobby, accompanied by stubby footsteps, _"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! GO!" _The guinea pig bellowed.

We opened the door and ran out and in front of us was the fountain, to our left was the entrance and to the right was the mini store. Connor got up front, assumed his position them shot an arrow at the guy standing on the second floor balcony, hitting the neck.

Link turned left and charged at the guy near the glass door with his triforce shield, shoving the guy down on the ground. The elf then delivered a powerful punch on his face, knocking him out cold.

George Washington held his gun by the barrel then pistol whipped the guard across the face.

Running across the huge lobby, we climbed up the huge stairs up to the second floor where a large glass divider separated the cafeteria from the main hallway. Since it was night time, we had the darkness at our side.

"_Be careful, there's seven of them on this floor."_ My mom said. The stairs leading to the next floor was located on the other side of the cafeteria.

"Hide in the shadows, don't let them see you." I whispered even softly, almost inaudible to the others, as the silence of the place was ringing through my ears.

Suddenly Billy whimpered, "Whoa!"

"Billy, quiet!" Anthony shushed but the boy continued to twitch. A lump under his shirt moved around.

"Something's crawling up my shirt!" He shivered, trying to reach the constantly moving lump.

Then at the collar of his shirt, Charlie the drunk guinea pig popped out, "Oi poofs! Miss me?"

"Charlie." Anthony sighed, "Where's the dog?"

"Don't worry about Sparky, I took care of him." He brushed it off.

"What did you do?" He might've hurt the poor thing.

"Nothing, the dog was stupid enough to hit his head on the counter." The British guinea pig said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"A bit." He smirked, "—with the help of Mr. Stabby."

We gasped but then we resumed the job.

I went first, crouching down and silently treading beside the glass wall quickly hiding behind some benches whenever I encountered some guys that were scouting the area. We managed to reach the stairs undetected; no one was caught or killed. We continued to climb up the stairs finally reaching the fifth floor. I peeked through the little window on the door then sank back down.

"What is it?" Connor asked.

"There's even more of them." I trembled, the feeling of anxiety took over, we can't just burst in there.

Then Link cuts in, "Psst, remember the bomb the old man gave me?" The elf brought out a large black bomb from his inventory, already lit and the fuse burning out.

It started blinking red.

"Shit!" I yelled then snatched the bomb from his grasp and threw it out the door sending it rolling in the middle of the goons. I covered my ears and prepared for the big bang.

But there was none.

"What the?" I was puzzled as a hissing noise came from inside the place.

"It was a smoke bomb." Link smiled. The sound of coughing and choking was heard from the guards followed by bodies falling on the floor.

"They're done for." I called the others. Sgt. Anous led us along a hallway and ended up facing huge brown double doors…_the studio doors._

"They're in here." Sgt. Anous said.

"Stand back." Connor said. We moved to one side as the assassin stepped backwards. He cracked his knuckles and neck and did some warm ups and jumping jacks. "Alright door, prepare for some massive ass whooping!" He continued to jump.

"GO!" We all yelled.

He sprinted towards the door then jumped into the air, putting one foot up front, "ALALALALALA!" He yelled out a lame racist cry.

He crashed onto the door, failing miserably in breaking it and bounced back to the ground, groaning in pain.

The whole group snickered. "Idiot, you could've just removed the locks." Sgt. Anous reached for the top and bottom locks of the double door, unhooked it then pushed it inwards, revealing the other captive Smosh guys.

"Ian? Anthony?" Mari stepped in front of the other prisoners, her hair messy and ruffled, dirtied face but still beautiful. However, I could tell they'd been locked in here for long time.

"Mari!" We ran at her and she wrapped her arms around us, she was sobbing.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy to see you." She was crying tears of joy.

"Hey, don't cry." Anthony patted her back, "We're here now."

"Thank you!" She gave us a kiss on our cheeks. No other words could describe what she was feeling right now.

Behind Mari was a skinny man with short brown hair and big eyes and looks kinda like _Steve Buscemi,_ but shorter and younger, "Sohinki!" I chuckled and he joined in on the group hug.

The others rejoiced that they were now reunited.

I broke from the hug and looked at the other captives: there was _Boxman_, a guy who have kept his face hidden inside a box all these years, smiling at me and I smiled back. _Cletus_ and _the Neighbor,_ who were actually getting along well without Benny Jean. _The Metrosexual Hipster _playing on his Pokédex, wearing his long red scarf around his neck over his blue shirt complete with a red beret on his head. And there _Brittni_ stood, her straight ginger hair parted to one side, her cute and pudgy cheeks and those striking brown eyes of hers. I ran towards her and she did the same. She was smiling, happy to see us coming to the rescue.

"Ian!" She outstretched her arms.

Behind her was another captive: a person with flowing golden hair, beautiful build and always held a sexy pose...

_ Fabio._

I dodged Brittni's open arms and ran at the cardboard cutout, I flew my arms around him, "Oh Fabio, I missed you!"

"_I want to sex you up."_ the voice recording said.

"WHAT THE F—" Brittni bellowed, distracting me from my moment with Fabio.

"Oh sorry, hey Brit." I let go of Fabio then hugged Brittni and she hugged back, tighter.

"Thank you, I thought we we're gonna die here." She placed her head on my chest and I placed mine on top of hers, feeling her hair brush against my chin was tingly. She gave me a soft peck on my cheek, it was warm and comforting and I felt my face heat up, I was actually blushing since that was the first time she did that. "Thank you." She repeated.

"No problem." I smiled, taking a deep breath then kissing her head.

"Hey, guys?" Billy spoke up, "has anyone seen Link?"


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Strings Attached

**Ian Hecox**

Reunited...almost, only half of the abducted people were inside the room; and now we're one member short of our extraction team, Link was nowhere to be found.

"Link! Come in!" I called for him in my headset, there was no answer. "Link!" I repeated. Still no answer.

"_Link left the moment you guys went in the room."_ My mom radioed in,_ "—I saw him go upstairs."_

I had no choice, "Anthony, lead the others back to the van, if anything goes wrong, protect them at all costs." I said, "I'll find Link."

"What about you?" Brittni asked, her eyes filled with concern.

"I'll be fine. You need to get out of here now." I smiled, looking into her eyes, "I'll be fine."

"Just be careful." She gave me a hug, so tight that it felt like she never wanted to let go.

"I could come with you." Billy cut in.

"No Billy, they need you more than I do." I smiled.

"You sure you don't need company?" He added.

"I'll be alright, just get them out and we'll catch up later." I gathered up the captives and motioned them to leave but they initially refused, they wouldn't leave without me.

"I can do this." I said, "Go."

Anthony, with much hesitation, decided to take charge, he walked to the double doors then pushed it outside a little for him to take a peek. He gestured them to wait for a moment as he slowly slipped his entire body through the door and went outside, checking if the coast is clear.

A few minutes later, he yanked the doors open, "Let's go. Connor, lead the way back." He said.

The assassin drew out his tomahawk and hidden blade then took the lead. Meanwhile, Billy followed the others, bringing out the hilt of his lightsaber and detracting the blade, illuminating the hallway in purple. They went around the corner back to the stairs.

But Anthony stayed behind.

"You should be leading them." I said. My best friend gave me an unexpected hug, "Oookay, this is unbelievably gay." I laughed, still in the embrace.

He let go and shook my shoulders, "Look after yourself."

"Yeah, I will." I grinned. Anthony nodded and turned around, I could feel his growing concern over me. He took out his sword and followed the rest, going around the corner. I was left alone in the room, the dark and silent studio.

_Here I go._

I took a deep breath, then walked along the hallway and turned left, opposite where Billy and the others went.

"Link, where are you?" I spoke to the headset, "Mom? Any sign of Link now?" I asked my mom.

_ "No, and I have no coverage of the upper floors."_ She said. I went up another floor and found myself along a different hallway with a huge glass window to my left and light coming from inside it. I went past the door beside the big glass pane, crouched down.

"The others have escaped?!" A raspy voice came from inside the room, stopping me in my tracks. It sounded familiar, "Find them." He ordered.

"Yes sir." Another voice replied, followed by footsteps walking towards the door behind me. I scampered behind a potted plant as the door creaked open: The same goon wearing shades and blonde hair that led the surprise attack in our first hiding place walked away from where I was, disappearing deeper into the hallway.

I peeked inside the room which was brightly lit, the interior walls were painted in white and inside it were a few equipments, but these things weren't the usual ones I'd find in a record company: there were _ovens, pans_ and _bakery apparatuses_.

At the center of the room was a huge mixing bowl and a man was standing beside it, watching it do its job. He was wearing a long brown robe with a hood over his head. On his arm was _the Power Glove_, the grey rubber glove and its Nintendo buttons.

Then it struck me… _It was the man from the video who kidnapped Brittni._

Anger fused within me and I could no longer contain myself. I burst inside, "HEY YOU!" I growled, holding the glowing blade above my head as I overflowed with the thirst to strike, "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM US?!" My eye twitched, prepared to hit him with all I've got.

The man's hands slowly made its way on the sides of his hood, grasping its fabric and pulling it down, revealing his true identity: A round face with a little button nose.

_ Stevie?!_

I gulped, I was about to say something but Stevie pointed at something behind me and I quickly turned around.

SLAM! A metal object hit me across the face, the whole world shook, I spat out blood from my mouth. I screamed on the top of my lungs, the hit was agonizing. My vision swirled and I fell on the ground. Everything slowed down as my face hit the cold tiled floor and the thud echoed.

I rolled over with the feeling of numbness taking over half of my face as I touched it, cheek throbbing erratically with blood dripping from my nose and cracked lip.

"_Ian, Ian? Are you alright?!"_ My mom called out, ringing through my bruised ear.

"_Ian? Something wrong, buddy?"_ Anthony also heard my agonized scream.

I felt another powerful blow across my face, the unknown attacker had thrown a jab at me. I groaned in pain as more blood flowed from my mouth. I could only hear my heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat.

He then snatched the earpiece from me and pinned me back down on the ground with his foot.

"I'm alright, mom and Anthony. I just had a run in with Stevie. I thought he was the bad guy, so I accidentally hit him with a frying pan." The figure chuckled.

Surprisingly, the man's voice sounded exactly like me, and was enough to convince my mom.

"_Have you found Link yet?"_ My mom asked, I was still dazed but I overheard the conversation.

"Not yet, I'll give you an update once I do." He replied, turning off the headset afterwards and putting it inside his pocket.

"Wha—" I spoke through my swollen cheeks.

"We've been expecting you, Ian." He said. The two blurred figures surrounded me while I lay spread eagled on the ground still disoriented from the blow.

I blinked my eyes, the clouded vision went away and I was able to make out the face of the second guy: brown wavy hair, a black cap over it, wearing a black jacket over a black tank top, complete with black shorts. Crooked nose, blue eyes, light stubble, it was like I was staring into a mirror.

_ Not again..._

"A-Adrian?!" I weakly exclaimed, seeing his familiar face gave me goosebumps.

A menacing smile formed across his face, "Miss me?" He kicked the lightsaber from my hand.

I rose up and supported my body with my elbows. I rubbed my aching head, "I-I don't understand... Anthony wiped your memory."

"Yeah, he did." He said before placing his foot on my chest and pushing me back on the ground. "—but someone helped me regain it." He said, "You."

"Wh—what?" I was at a loss for words

"Well, technically you, but from the future." I remembered that Evil Ian went back to the past before disguising himself as Billy, "I almost forgot that I really hate you so much, I really do."

My mouth just remained open.

"I wanted to ruin your channel, but I realized that why not aim for something bigger?" He smirked, leaning on his knee that was on my chest, "—it's about OWNING ALLOY DIGITAL, your parent company. It was all falling into place, I had your loser friends captive, but I know that you and that idiot Anthony will come and save them."

I weakly pushed off his foot until finally he did so himself. Adrian snapped his fingers and two different sets of hands pulled me to my feet then grabbed both my hands then placed them behind my back. I got a chance to look at them: one had short curly hair, wearing a pair of glasses while the other had bright yellow hair and big round eyes…

_ Joven and Lasercorn._

"What the-? Joven?! Dave?! Let me go!" I struggled as their nails dug into my sleeve, getting a good grip. Their faces were blank and expressionless, irises were not their usual brown, they were _fiery red_.

Then two more guys walked in front of me, the short guy was wearing a red, blue and white checkered buttoned-up, long sleeve shirt with faded blue jeans and a red cap, holding a plastic pink lawn flamingo while the taller guy had spiky hair under his Pokémon cap…

_ Benny Jean and Ash._

They also had the same red eyes and blank expressions and all four of them forced me on a rusty old wheelchair, tying my feet on the footrest and then my hands on the armrest with a length of rope.

"You like my new henchmen?" Adrian boasted, "They'll listen to everything I'll say, like this: Lasercorn, kick Joven in his privates."

The yellow-haired guy did as he was instructed: he kicked Joven in the crotch. I cringed; the poor bespectacled man rolled on the floor in pain but soon stood back up as if nothing happened.

My brother cackled, "Like puppets, _Strings Attached_." He saw my pained look, "I'm gonna show you something beautiful, you'll probably like it." Adrian ordered Ash to push the wheelchair, following his boss. I shook myself from the binds but it was bound firmly that I wasn't able to breathe normally.

We stopped in front of a huge oven. Adrian turned around and glanced at me, smiling so big that it made me uncomfortable.

"Why do all of this?" I ranted, keeping my firm and unafraid face.

"Reasons. Lots of them, but never mind that, feast your eyes on this!" He pressed a button on the table next to him and the oven doors opened, a giant _pink frosted sprinkled donut_ was at the center, as big as a human being.

"What's that gonna do?" I scoffed, insulting him.

"You'll see." My evil twin said before throwing a rock at the huge donut, hitting its side then bouncing off of it.

It started moving, various lumps randomly appeared everywhere on its surface, as if something inside it was desperate to break free. A pair of feet made out of bread burst out of its side followed by a pair of arms.

I was in for the shock of my life.

The donut slowly stood up, until it has planted both of its feet on the ground.

A great big pair of black eyes lacking pupils opened on the pink frosting, creating a menacing stare. Then a lipless mouth emerged, dripping pink frosting as it took its first gasp of air. I was scared shitless, it was _Food Battle: The Game's Mutant Donut_ in the flesh.

"No." That was all I could say as I watched in horror.

"We have more of them." Adrian gloated, "—but sadly, the donuts won't listen to me or anyone else, they only take orders from one person, and that my dear brother, is _YOU_."

"M—me?!" I blurted out, "—but that's only in the game."

"Oh believe me, they will listen to you." He pushed me away from the newly born donut. Stevie used a long stick to poke the donut into a room filled with the others. "I knew you will lead the rebellion against me, so I made an army just in case you'd get this far as I was supposed to keep the prisoners in captivity forever but seeing you were making progress, this is gravely needed." He explained. "—and wouldn't it be cool if I had an army to cause world domination?"

"You know, I could just order them to beat the shit outta you, right?" I gloated, struggling from my restraints, "We'll beat you." I teased him.

"How will they defeat me, when they will be busy fighting _you_?" He said in a dark tone.

I gasped.

"That's right my brother, YOU will lead the donuts against them." He raised his voice, boasting loudly, "Pretty neat huh? _Friends fighting against each other!_ What's a more beautiful way to end Smosh than this?" He laughed. "And what made it better is that you and your friends had walked into my trap."

I opened my mouth to reply but Adrian pinched my lips close, "I know what you're gonna say, _'Adrian you bastard, I won't do it,' _blah blah blah, I've got a trick up my sleeve."

He pushed the wheelchair inside a room, in the center of it, was a metal box with a huge tube connected to a helmet.

"Remember the _brain switcher_ from your _Food Battle_?" Adrian grabbed the helmet and placed it on my head, wrapping a belt around my chin and securing it.

"Turn it on, asshole." He yelled to his assistant.

"Stevie! How could you?!" I cried.

"You were never nice to me." Stevie's small nose scrunched. He smiled then pulled down a huge lever on the wall. The machine started making noises, warming up the whole system.

"You might wanna bite on something; The results could _shock you_." Adrian took a step backwards then left the room with Stevie.

I started struggling even more as the sounds grew louder, shaking my hands from the armrest but the binds were too strong and firm. I desperately tried shaking the helmet off, it won't budge one bit.

"LET ME GO! ADRIAAAN!" I bellowed loud enough to scratch my throat. I screamed at the top of my lungs, "ADRIAN!" I tried tipping over the wheelchair but it was too heavy.

The sounds grew even louder.

_It's ready._

"NOOOOOOOO!"

After a loud beep, the machine sent powerful surges of electricity through my whole body. I shook violently on the wheelchair as the current traveled, my teeth gnashed against each other as the pain was worse than anything else that I've endured. I was being tortured as one by one, the memories of Smosh and my friends vanished into oblivion...

"AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!" I closed my eyes. I didn't know what to do...except to succumb to it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	15. Chapter Fourteen: The Great Escape

**Anthony Padilla**

We descended down the flight of stairs with Connor and George taking the lead while Billy, Sgt. Anous and me closely following behind, protecting the unarmed guys. Everything was falling into place but I couldn't help thinking that I shouldn't have let Ian go in alone.

"Billy, I'm gonna have to go back for Ian." I said, also alerting the others.

"Okay, watch your back." He replied.

"Yeah, yours too." I stopped at a landing and watched them continue going downstairs until they disappeared from my view. I turned around and ran back up making huge leaps. A while later, I was back on the floor where the unconscious guards were, they were still lying on the floor exactly the same way we left them.

"_WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM US?!_" Ian's voice came from my earpiece, "_AAAAAARRGGHHH_!" He suddenly let out an ear-piercing scream.

"_Ian, Ian? Are you alright?!"_ Ian's mom spoke.

"Ian? Something wrong, buddy?" I said, growing anxious the moment we heard his blood-curling scream.

There was no reply.

"_I'm alright, mom and Anthony. I just had a run in with Stevie, I thought he was the bad guy, so I accidentally hit him with a frying pan_." He finally replied.

"_Have you found Link yet?"_ Mrs. Hecox asked.

_ "Not yet, I'll give you an update once I do."_ He said.

"I'm coming back, Ian." I said, but he never replied. I resumed walking along the hallway then taking the first door to my left, nudging the door open with my shoulder, reaching for the switch and flicking it on: it was a small storage room of props from the company's many projects, mostly from our crazy video game parodies and episodes, from toy guns to prop replica of the _Doctor Who's Dalek_, which Ian called a '_Thirty year old dildo_'.

I closed the door and checked the other rooms, still no sign of either Link or Ian. "Link! Where are you?" I asked again.

The quietness of the place was interrupted by a faint grunting. It came from the hallway to the right. I followed the sound to its source and ended up in front of the lounge where the Smosh gang would hang out whenever the filming had wrapped. I pressed my ear against the door and it was where the grunts were coming from.

I barged into the room, the lights were on and everything was still in order: the two couches were unmoved: the TV was still on the wall. I pushed the door all the way, in front of me was the kitchen counter with a picture of Princess Zelda in a frame on top. Standing beside it was Link with his back turned at the door with both of his hands in front and was shaking vigorously, grunting as he was doing it.

I covered my eyes, "Oh God, dude! Really?" I was disgusted.

The elf turned around, he was shaking a glass vial in his hands, "What?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ohh," I shrunk, "I thought you were—" I shook my head, "—never mind."

Link and I stared at each other awkwardly for at least five minutes before he spoke up again. "I-I was making a health potion." He stuttered as he shook the blue liquid inside the glass container.

"I thought health potions were red? And why do you have a picture of Zelda?" I pointed to the counter.

"Erm..." The elf blushed profusely and tried to conceal his smile. He slowly slipped the potion in his pocket as if I didn't see it. Behind him was a half-empty medicine bottle of blue pills.

I snickered, "Your secret's safe with me."

"T-that b-bottle isn't mine!" Link's words toppled on top of the other.

"Suuuure it isn't." I gave him a wink, "Let's just go."

"Good idea, and let's keep this between us, okay?" Link pleaded.

"Whatever you say." I chuckled, "I'm gonna tweet about this." I pulled out my big-ass phone.

"What?! NO!" Link snatched my phone from my grasp then stretched his arm away from me. I reached both my hands for the phone but he shoved my face away from him.

"I'm kidding!" I spoke through his palm that was over my face, "Now give me my phone back."

"Promise?" The elf asked.

I sighed, "I promise." He let go of my face and returned my phone, "Thanks."

"Where's Ian?" Link asked.

"He went back to look for you but now that I've found you, we should look for him." I said, "Let's go check upstairs."

"Great idea."

"Why weren't you responding when we were calling for you?" I asked.

"What are you talking about? I'm wearing my headset." Link reached for his ear and his smile disappeared, "I could've sworn I had it!" He said.

"Where?"

"_Where?"_ I heard my voice echoing from the elf's pocket, "Can you check your pockets?" I asked.

_ "Can you check your pockets?"_ It echoed again. Link reached for his pocket and brought out his vial of blue liquid.

"This is the only thing in my pocket." He showed it to me.

I raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"_Really?"_ It came from inside the bottle.

"It's swimming inside." I said and my voice was heard again.

The elf fished the earpiece out of the vial and put it back in his ear. "I thought it was a pill that won't dissolve." He let out a weak chuckle.

"So those WERE pills!" I laughed.

* * *

We went back to the stairs and up another floor, the same exact place welcomed us but only this time there were no guards on the floor, and it was dark as the lights were dim.

"Ian, where are you? I found Link." I radioed in, "We went up a floor."

"_I'm in the first room in the hallway to your left."_ Ian replied. We turned left and around the corner walking towards the first door to my left. I opened the door and switched on the lights.

"What the hell are those?" Link yelped. Right in front of us were three giant _Pink Frosted Sprinkled_ donuts stacked on top of the other.

"Those are giant donuts." I said, taking a step further and poked it with my lightsaber, "It's harmless."

Then a loud yelp came from the donut, making us jump. The donut on top suddenly grew limbs, it stood up as big black pupil-less eyes and a mouth sprouted from its frosted toppings. We stared in horror as the other two donuts did the same, taking in their first breath of air.

_ Oh shit._

"Anthony, we sh-should go." Link pulled my shirt.

"I guess we should." We ran back to the door. I reached for the door and managed to pull the knob...just the knob.

"Shit! We're trapped!" The donuts roared as they slowly hobbled towards us. I took a step backward and swung my sword vertically at the door, burning through it. I kicked it open and went outside with Link in tow.

More roars came from the end of the hall, from the place we came from.

"We'll find another way." I took a glance behind me as we ran: another donut was chasing us, growling like a zombie. We sprinted on the slippery floor which made it a challenge to run on, our soles gliding on the spotless ground. "The elevator!" I yelled, a few feet from us were the metal doors of the lift.

But something was inside it; the floor indicator was counting up.

DING! The elevator doors suddenly opened with a huge _Maple Bar Donut_ waiting inside, glowing yellow eyes on its maple coating. He caught sight of us and began to topple over, performing his deadly body slam, "OH CRAP!" I turned right and narrowly escaped the falling monster.

The donut fell on the door with a loud thud, shaking the whole floor.

"AAAAARGH!" Someone screamed. I stopped running, my shoes making a loud screech. Link was on the floor with his left foot caught under the large donut, it was almost crushed entirely.

I ran back as he was struggling to remove the large donut off of his foot, forcefully pulling it out, "AAAAAHHHH!" He cried. I drew out my sword and chopped off the part where his foot was caught. He crawled out, his leg limp and disfigured.

In every attempt of helping him get up to his feet, he shrieked, "AAAAHHHH! MY FOOT!" I set him back down on the floor.

"Okay, again." I said. Distant roars of donuts came from everywhere.

"You'll gonna have to go without me!" He said, pushing me away.

"There's no way I'll leave you behind, now stop being a baby and get the fuck up!" I shouted. Link just stared at me surprised by my sudden burst of anger. I placed his arm over my shoulder "ONE, TWO, THREE!"

After a few more tries and screams of pain, I was able to pull him up. He placed his arm around my shoulder and began limping on his right foot.

We went around a corner only to find more pink donuts, jelly donuts and bar donuts, they cornered us. They walked nearer as they growled and licked their lips.

"What are we gonna do?" Link asked.

I hatched a plan and believed that it was the only way to escape, "You got a belt?" I asked.

"Why would you need a belt?" He was confused, but he handed me a belt.

"Just trust me on this, turn around." I said.

"Why?" The elf asked.

"JUST TURN THE FUCK AROUND!" Link flinched and pressed his back against mine. I wrapped the belt around my waist then gave Link the other end, "Wrap this around." I said, he did as he was told.

I twirled my lightsaber, "Now, weapons out and start screaming like a bitch."

"YAAAAAHHH!" We yelled in a high-pitched cry, charging at the donuts then began slicing away. Link was strapped to my back skillfully defending us while I dealt with the enemies up front.

A large bar donut started tipping over at us, falling like a log. I swung my sword upwards, cutting the pastry at the center and splitting into two halves.

Two jelly donuts blocked our way then ran at us, "Link, swords out!" I turned to my side and held out my saber horizontally, the elf did the same. We ran sideward and ducked, forming like a plane with blades for wings while the donuts tried to reach for us.

The swords sliced through the legs of the enemies, spraying us with red gooey jelly filling.

I faced the hoards of enemies and ran again, with the weight of the elf being stuck on my back being the least of my concerns. We managed to beat more donuts and go back down the stairs, "Guys! They know we hit the A.D.!" I screamed to the headset.

"_Yeah, noticed_." Billy replied before letting out a battle cry.

**Connor Kenway**

"We're almost there!" I said, motioning for the group. We made it back down the second floor of the building, the cafeteria level, with no run-ins with goons.

"_Watch out Connor! there're donuts waiting for you in the lobby_!" Ian's mom said. With that being said, I quickly slipped on the floor and slid beside the railings as jelly projectiles flew over my head, missing me by an inch

I took a peek: the lobby was filled with various donuts waiting for us, a sight that made my stomach growl.

_ I'm a little hungry, okay?_

"Get down!" I stopped the others from following me and they also ducked down, dodging the flying pieces of jelly.

"What are we gonna do?" Boxman cowered.

"Stay here and I'm gonna take out those Jelly donuts, then we attack." I said to them.

"Way ahead of ya!" Billy stood up, put a blindfold over his eyes then turned on his lightsaber.

"Billy, what the—?!"

The boy stood on the railing and slid down the stairs, fending off the flying jelly with his sword, "Weeeee! This is fun!" He jumped off and landed on the floor then fought the first row of jelly donuts.

"Unbelievable. Let's move, people!" I led George Washington and Sgt. Anous down to fight alongside the boy. Billy was able to deal with a huge number of donuts, knowing when to hit and when to block off the attacks and what amazed me is that he's battling them with a damn blindfold on!

_ This boy never fails to surprise me._

I drew out my tomahawk and chopped a maple bar donut's foot off, it collapsed on top of smaller donut holes, squishing them like bugs. I then charged towards a group of pink frosted foes, stabbing them with my hidden blade and hitting the other with my tomahawk.

Then suddenly a donut got a grip on my foot and held me upside down making me drop my weapons. I dangled defenseless with the enemies closing in, with the intention of turning me into a punching bag. I struggled, but the grip on my foot was tight. A jelly donut took a step forward and was prepared to take a punch.

With one last resort, I used my blade and cut off the hand that held me up. I fell on the floor and the wounded donut wailed as it reached for its dismembered hand. The others were pissed off even more and they shoved me back onto the floor with my would-be attacker raising its foot over my head.

BANG! A hole bursts through the enemy's forehead. The jelly donut's knees buckled, it dropped down on the floor lifeless.

"I'm sorry, jelly donut." Sgt. Anous said, weeping like a baby. He resumed shooting the others and had set me free. I reacquired my tomahawk and fought the remaining wave of the army.

"_Guys! They know we hit the A.D.!_" Anthony warned from the headset.

"Yeah, noticed." Billy replied, he yelled a powerful battle cry before fending off more attackers.

George Washington stood at the center, shooting his dual pistols at the donuts, "I hate to waste donuts—" He pulled the trigger, blowing a donut's face off, "—but them wasting us is not an option." He said, followed by loud explosions from his gun blowing holes through the mutants.

His guns clicked, he was out of bullets.

But I never saw a hint of fear in him. He lowered his weapons and placed them back into their holsters. Afterwards, he raised both of his hands above his head, looking down on his porcelain tutu.

George closed his eyes then took deep breaths. The monsters closed in.

His eyes shot back open with anger and excitement and his mouth slowly curved into a smile, "Here comes _The Ballerina of Death_!" He began dancing gracefully like a ballerina as the jagged edges of the tutu hit the enemies, cutting their sides open and spilling their delicious cream or jelly insides.

He continued to dance, the president spun around on tip toes, ducking and avoiding the enemies' attempts to grab him.

He did so until there were only a few of them left, "And for my finishing move, here's the '_Twirl of Pain!'_" He did a handstand then sprang back up to his feet, he tiptoed on one foot and spun as fast as he could, beating the last of the donuts. The president finally stopped twirling and took a graceful bow.

There was an applause coming from the rescued captives, remarking us for our skills.

"Whoo! Yeah!" Brittni cheered, pumping her fist in the air.

We regrouped at the center of the lobby and went back to the entrance to the basement stairs. "Let's go, there are more coming in." I saw shadows of goons and donuts approaching us, coming from the second floor.

I stopped halfway, noticing that we're one person short, "Where's Sgt. Anous?" I turned around and saw him back in the lobby down on all fours and munching on the dead jelly donut.

I ran back to him and he was balling, "I'm sorry, jelly donut! You made me do it!" He cried while shoving large amounts of powdered sugar-coated bread in his mouth, "Your death won't be in vain, your memory will live on...in my belly!" He wept.

"Dude, it would totally look wrong if that donut was a person." I told him, "C'mon!" I pulled on his uniform.

He ran his hands on the sugar-coated surface, saying, "You were delicious, my sweet." He stood up, face covered in powdered sugar, even his mustache.

We joined the others then went down the stairs and into the basement, sprinting down the metal steps, never looking back, "Hurry!" I said, pushing them through the door then bolting it shut behind me, "Over there!" I told them to run towards the hole on the ground.

"Can I take off my blindfold-OWW!" Billy ran into a concrete column then smacked his head and fell on the ground. I grabbed his hand and dragged him along the parking lot, his body sliding on the waxed floor.

Then loud banging came from the doors.

We reached the entrance we used to get in, "Alright, one by one." I assisted them in jumping inside, "—just follow the lights and you'll find ManSpider waiting for you in the end." I guided.

Once everyone was in the sewer, I jumped in myself, "Anthony, there are more donuts coming after us, what about you guys?" I asked.

"_Blow up the entrance, we'll find another way!_" Anthony replied, him and Link were still busy.

It was decision that I can't imagine happening, "But—"

"_Just do it! We'll be alright!_" He yelled.

I stuck my head back inside the parking lot, the door flew open with an army of donuts swarming out and running towards me with some guys in black. I sank back then grabbed the detonator, running a safe distance away from the blast zone afterwards.

_ I need to do this._

With much hesitation, my trembling finger pushed down the big red button...

BOOM!

The light coming from the place disappeared, followed by chunks of rocks falling into the river of filth.

**Anthony Padilla**

There was no way we could go back to the way we came in now that there's lots of goons and donuts trying to get into it.

"Ian! Where are you?" I called out.

_ "I'm a bit busy here! I got a bunch of donuts coming right at me!" _He replied.

"We're coming to get you!" I said, walking back up the stairs.

_ "No!" _Ian yelled and I stopped in my tracks, _"—you guys go ahead. I'll handle this, just meet me back in the Smosh house."_ He said.

"I'm not leaving without you!" I protested.

_ "Link is injured. You need to get help for him fast." _

I almost forgot the injured Link strapped on my back, "Just don't show up there in a coffin, alright?" I gave a weak chuckle.

He scoffed, _"I won't, see ya later."_

"See ya." My heart sank. Leaving my best friend behind was one of the worst things I could imagine, "Be careful."

_ "Of course I will."_ Ian reassured.

I went back down the stairs, stepping with caution since Link was still attached to my back. Later, we arrived back in the main lobby; we walked away from the basement parking entrance where silhouettes of goons began appearing from behind its frosted glass.

"Sgt. Anous, are there any more escape routes here?" I asked through the radio.

_ "The VIP garage."_ The policeman replied.

Link motioned for me to go into the garage on the same floor, "We'll jack a car." We were able to go into the garage without being caught by the enemies. I closed the door then flicked the switch, illuminating the whole garage. There was only one car inside, parked at the center of the place with a dirty white sheet draped over it, forming a shape of a sports car but with a weird lump sticking out of the rear center of its shape. We hurriedly pulled away the sheet and it surprised me: the silver body, metal frame, and a brand on the grills labeled with the letters:

_DMC_

"The DeLorean!" I exclaimed. My heart leapt, it was an amazing coincidence. I ran towards the passenger side then unstrapped Link from my back then gently placed him on the seat, squeezing him inside the tight space.

I took the driver's seat and looked at the_ Flux Capacitor_, but it was nowhere to be found.

"Damn." I punched the seat. I got in and started the engine, searching for the auto pilot switch. I found it on the dashboard and turned it on.

A loud beep was set off inside the car, the autopilot won't activate. _This is bad._

I started to panic, staring down at the three pedals at my feet. _I can't drive a stick shift._

"Let me guess, you can't drive a manual." The elf sighed and I just nodded. It's actually a shame that a guy like me couldn't drive a stick. "Well, I can't drive because that my left foot's crushed." He said, "Looks like you're driving."

I reached for the stick,"I can't."

The door of the garage suddenly blew open, _They are coming._

A sudden burst of adrenaline surged within me, "On second thought, why not give it a shot?" I stepped on the pedal to my left, the clutch. I shifted to the first gear. I lifted my foot off of it and caused the car to jolt, it was followed by the engine dying down.

"Do not just let go of the clutch!" Link scolded.

"Sorry!" I tried again, turning the key to start it. "C'mon, start!" I smacked the steering wheel.

"You better hurry, because they're coming." I glanced at the rear view mirror and the reflections of the donuts grew bigger, "Hurry!" Link slapped my shoulder, he was restless on his seat.

"Shouting 'Hurry' won't make this car start faster." My trembling hand turned the key again, "COME ON!" I bellowed.

The engine finally started.

"YEAH! GOOD BOY!" I pushed down the clutch again, this time slowly lifting my foot off until we were moving away from the spot.

The engine roared, "Now shift to the second gear!" Link said and I shifted the stick, "THE CLUTCH!" The elf bellowed, I did it and we zoomed faster. It roared again and I went up another gear, going even faster.

Some of the donuts leapt on the roof of the car. "Shit!" I began driving in a zigzag.

"Just drive, I'll handle this." Link said, rolling down the window and fending off the minions with his sword.

Blocking our way was a large number of assorted donuts, "Wanna take a drive thru to Dunkin' Donuts?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm good." Link replied, slouching down his seat and putting his hands behind his head. I smiled and shifted to the fifth gear, making the car drive at its fastest. I flattened the hoard of food, spraying gooey jelly blood on our windshield upon rolling over them.

Link then lit up a bomb and threw it at the metal doors.

BOOM! The explosion destroyed the metal gates, creating a large hole on the door. The alarm blared, alerting everyone inside, as if the fight earlier wasn't enough to blow our cover.

We approached the gaping hole in the wall, "FLOOR IT!" Link yelled. I pushed the gas pedal deeper. The car was small enough to fit through it and next thing I knew we were back on the road driving away from the company.

"YEAH!" Link cheered and I cheered as well.

"ManSpider, where are you now?" I radioed in.

"_We have just collected the others, how about you?_" He replied.

"We just got out. Ian, what about you?" I checked on my best friend.

"_I'm out too, let's regroup at the Smosh house_." Ian said, knowing that he's alright washed away the worry I had for him.

"Alright, copy that." I said, "I can't believe I just learned how to drive a stick." I gave the widest smile, "Thanks, Link."

Link smiled, "No problem, now about that Dunkin' Donuts drive thru." He rubbed his belly.


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Friend or Foe

**Anthony Padilla**

We may have escaped but we only managed to save a few of the guys, with none of them having a clue at where the others were taken. We had no choice but to leave them behind. And to make matters worse, 'The Empire' knew that we had just infiltrated their building, and they created an army of mutant donuts to stop our progress.

Our troubles were far from over.

I drove on, keeping my eyes on the road while thinking those things while also learning to drive a stick shift_. I could get used to this._

"Link, what time is it?" I glanced at my passenger who had his face buried in a one dozen box of donuts. _We took a drive thru, okay? We're damn hungry._

The elf looked at his watch, "It's 4 in the morning." He said with his mouth full. He then brought the set of donuts near me, "You want some?"

"Yeah." My hands went inside the box, digging for a donut. I took one, a big chocolate coated donut, and brought it closer to take a bite, but then noticed it had a bite mark. I returned it to look for another one but every donut had a bite on them, "Dude, did you take a bite out of all of them?" I asked.

"I was just testing them in case it was poisoned." Link smiled.

"Riiiight." I sighed, settling for a partially eaten maple bar donut and savoring every bit of it. I looked at his broken foot, it was limp and throbbing, "How's your foot?" I asked.

He also looked at it, "I'll be fine. I made a potion, remember?" He brought out the small vial of blue liquid then popped the cork off before drinking half of it.

"Wait, that's made out of pills, right?" I asked.

"Don't worry," Link brushed it off, "I made it from—HHUURRRGGLLLLL!" He shook violently.

"What?" I looked at him, he had his hands on his neck, twitching on his seat, "Link?!" I reached one hand to shake him back. "LINK!" I bellowed, stopping the car by the sidewalk then leaning over to the passenger side, "What's happening to you?!" I shook his shoulders.

No response.

He then stopped shaking. His eyes stared into nothingness until it slowly closed. He slumped backwards on his seat, motionless.

"Link!" I slapped him again and again, "Don't die on me now!" I kept shaking him.

"_Anthony, what's happening?_" Ian's mom heard our commotion.

"It's Link! He's unresponsive!" I panicked, fumbling the headset in my ear.

"_What did he do?_" She asked.

"I-I dunno, he drank a potion." I slapped the elf again.

"_Try and revive him_." I heard the others gasp.

"How?" It felt like my mind will explode in any minute, I was having a panic attack.

_ "CPR!"_

I froze. OH HELL NAW.

"_Anthony_!" Ian's mom snapped me back to reality, _"You have to do CPR!" _

I closed my right fist, placed it on Link's chest then covered it with my left, "One! Two! Three!" In every count I pressed down on his abdomen, forcing the air out of him.

"_He needs air!_" She said.

"You mean mouth to mouth?!" I stuttered.

"_No, idiot, you just sit there and watch— OF COURSE MOUTH TO MOUTH, DUMBASS!_" She yelled.

I did not reply, I definitely don't wanna put my mouth over his.

_ "Anthony, do it!"_

"I-I don't know." I stuttered.

_ "Do it or he dies!"_ She threatened.

"I c-can't."

"_Do it or I'll leak pictures of you in your mom's dress!"_ Damn, she knows how to push my buttons.

My shaking hands made its way to the elf's mouth, pressing his nose then opening his lips.

_I can't believe I'm doing this. _

"_Do it!_" Mrs. Hecox said.

"Don't rush me!" The moment his mouth opened, the smell went up to my nose. "Oh God, it smells like a skunk's butthole!" I complained, fanning the stench away. _I'm gonna regret this._

"I feel those _fanfictions_ coming." I clipped my nose with one hand while the other held Link's mouth open. I drew closer and took a deep breath, slowly bringing my face closer to his regretting every single moment of it. "Please wake up." I mumbled. Our mouths were mere inches away from touching.

_ Just imagine you're kissing a really hot girl, Anthony._

I went even closer, feeling my breath brush against his face.

Suddenly, and thankfully, Link's eyes shot open.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" He screamed, flailing his hands then pushing me away.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I screamed and shot back to my seat, we did a duet of yells.

"Did you just kiss me?!" Link wiped his lips and rubbed his tongue against his sleeve.

"Fuck no, I was giving you CPR!" I was disgusted.

"Why?!" He flinched, still wiping his tongue.

"You were having a seizure!" I shook my head, "—you drank that potion you made!" I tried to brush away the awkwardness.

"Look!" Link brought his foot up, "It miraculously healed!" He wiggled his left foot which was now back to its original form.

"Whoa." I said, amazed that it actually worked.

"So it worked!" He cheered, "The only problem is that it has a side effect."

"Besides you almost dying?" I sighed.

"Y-yeah." Link took off his green pointy hat then placed it over his crotch, "S-something like that, heh." He scoffed.

"Oh dude! Gross." I went back to my own seat.

_ "Is Link alright?"_ Mrs. Hecox asked.

"Yeah, but things are pretty hard for him right now," I cringed, "especially down there."

_ "Cooool!"_ Billy cut in.

"_I gotta get me one of those."_ Charlie's raspy British voice spoke.

* * *

I continued driving, noticing the sun slowly rising from the east and illuminating the horizon in an orange hue mixing with the dark blue night skyline. The morning calm covered the place with a thin layer of mist. The tall buildings soon turned into a group of houses. I made a left turn that eventually led us on a long road with houses on each side: middle class type of houses and a familiar street sign...

_Olympiad Way_.

"Ian, we're nearly there." I said to the headset.

_ "The others?" _Ian responded.

_ "Almost there_._"_ Ian's mom replied.

I parked the car just outside the house, turned off the engine then stepped out. I stared at the house, noticing every detail: it was still in good condition like the last time we left it about two days ago, right before Link rescued us. Seeing it again brought a tear to my eye, it brings back the times when Ian and I would write, shoot and edit videos peacefully.

This isn't just a house…this is _home_.

The blue van parked a while later with Connor and the others getting out of it.

"Everyone here?" I asked, looking at everyone. The gang's all here with the guys we rescued, everyone except for Ian.

"That was crazy back there!" Billy said as his propeller hat was spinning.

"More violent than the wars I've fought." George Washington remarked, fixing his fake hair then loading his gun.

"Where's Ian?" Matt Sohinki asked.

"He's inside the house." I said.

We approached the front door before I suddenly stopped walking, also stopping the others from proceeding. A random question came into my head: _why in the Smosh house?_

"Ian, I'm just wondering, why should we meet there?" I asked, "Shouldn't we meet in a place that's hidden like an alleyway or something?"

_"C'mon, dude."_ Ian said, _"I'm already in here, bored outta my wits_._"_

"I don't know." I replied, "You do remember that we were almost abducted here right? We could be walking into a trap."

"_Don't you trust me? I'm your best friend_."

"I-I do, but—" But something in my gut tells me that something's up, I mean, we were almost caught there in the first place.

_ I really have a bad feeling about this._

_ "Are you still there?"_ Ian said, his voice turned a little deeper. Link and I exchanged looks. _"Anthony? Are you still there?_" He repeated.

I began to doubt him, "Is it really you, Ian?" I asked.

_ "Of course it's me, dumbass."_ His voice lowered.

"You don't sound like the Ian I know."

_ "What the hell are you talking about?"_ His voice began to differ from the Ian I always hear, _"I'm the real deal Ian, bro."_

_ Bro_... '_Bro_' is **'_brother_'** for short... _Pewdiepie_ uses '_bro_' for his fans... Called the **'_bro army_'**... _Alloy Digital_ is forming an **_army_**... Our _enemy_ is **_Alloy Digital_**... Which could only mean one thing... OH. MY. BIEBER.

"YOU'RE NOT IAN!" I shouted, alerting the others.

_ "Dammit! And I could've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!" _Decoy Ian said.

"Kids?" Link asked, "There are no kids here."

_ "Forget it bro, I just ripped that off from Scooby Doo and one of your Smosh episodes."_ He replied, "_Oh well, it was a trap, douche nozzles_—_"_ His voice turned sinister, "—_and since you've figured it out, check this out."_

A brilliant flash of light came from inside the Smosh house. Then in a blink of an eye, the house was obliterated by a powerful explosion. The strength of the blast catapulted us into the air and it felt like time slowed down as I watched the house, the house that we've lived in for many years, where we created memorable moments, turn into nothing but debris. Fire engulfed the house as a massive black mushroom cloud rose up the sky.

We landed on the asphalt road and ended up lying on the road as chunks of wood, concrete and glass flew everywhere.

I could hear nothing but high-pitched ringing.

Still dazed by the explosion, I stood up and felt the burning sensation on my back and throbbing on my temples as warm blood seeped through an open wound just above my left eyebrow, flowing down the side of my face. Every part of me ached, especially the gashes on my skin caused by the catastrophic explosion.

I looked through my blurred sights for the others who were also on the ground, coughing and shaking off the dust.

"Is everyone alright?" I said as I helped the others up.

"Yeah." Billy stood up and he wasn't in good shape either, his nose and right ear were bleeding. There were also bruises on his arm and rips on his shirt.

I looked for Ian's mom and I found her lying a few feet from me faced down on the ground. "Mrs. Hecox!" I rushed to her and turned her sideways, the glasses on her face was out of place but otherwise unbroken, she was still beautiful apart from a small gash was on her cheek, "Are you alright?" I helped her up.

"I'm fine." She coughed.

The thick layer of smoke cleared and we saw what remained of our Smosh house: only the concrete foundations remained intact, everything else were on the floor, either darkened or reduced to ash.

Near my foot were the pictures of me and Ian still in their frames but shattered and burnt.

_ Our house… _

_ No…_

"NOOOOOO!" I cried, falling on my knees and letting the tears flow like river from my eyes. I had already seen it being abandoned a while back but witnessing it get devastated in front of my eyes was too much… it was too far.

A loud cackle came from the headset _"Now was that a beautiful show, don't you think? I like to hit where it hurts the most." _The evil man spoke.

"Y-you- motherfucking—"

"_Calm down, Anthony. Trust me, IT AIN'T OVER YET._"

"Anthony!" Billy cried, "They're coming!" He pointed out on the road. From the distance, two large black vans were driving towards us.

"EVERYONE BACK IN THE VAN!" I yelled. The blue van was lying on one side tipped over by the explosion. "Grab the things you need then RUN!" I bellowed. The group scrambled to the van, ripped open the back doors then grabbed their respective weapons. I helped Ian's mom get onto The Neighbor's motorized segway.

"Run!" We sprinted away from the approaching vans bringing us to the wide highway, making a right turn. But blocking the highway were two more black vans waiting for us.

"Over the fence!"" I turned right then jumped over the fence leading to _Primrose Park_, the place where we shot our Food Battles and outdoor videos. The open soccer field and the familiar playground were there.

"Into the park!" We kept running, it was then that I realized that The Metrosexual Hipster and Connor were missing.

"Where's Connor?!" I asked, "Connor?!" I radioed.

We reached the open field of the park, running straight and away from the pursuing Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut mutants. One suddenly came from my right and took a lunge at me. I dodged, turned on my lightsaber then sliced through it, splitting it into two halves.

At the center of the park, a man stood, he had a thick figure and a bowl haircut. He was all too familiar.

"Ian?" I recognized the figure, "IAN!" I yelled but Ian just stood there as if nothing was happening. Then I saw a donut sneak behind him. "WATCH OUT!"

However the donut did not attack him. Instead, it stood beside him like a soldier.

I was surprised. Ian reached a hand over to the giant donut beside him, gently running it through the side of the mutant, petting it.

"Wha—?" I said. Ian drew out the hilt of his lightsaber and turned it on, emitting the long blue glowing rock candy blade, "W-What are you doing?"

I looked into his expressionless face, this was not the Ian I know, he's different, he stood there like a statue, his eyes weren't blue...

...they were _red_.

We stopped running and everything fell silent, I could feel the cold morning air as it blew against my face sending goosebumps throughout my body. The trees in the distance swayed in rhythm as the faint sound of cars drove in the distance. We stood in the middle of the field watching more donuts form behind my best friend, or whoever he was. Ian looked back at his army of mutants then back at us, his mouth slowly curved into a smile, turning into an evil grin.

A soft rustling of the grass came from behind the large group of donuts. The mutants moved to one side to let a group of people pass through.

They stepped up taking the front row of the army and upon seeing them made us gasp: _Joven, Lasercorn, Ash, Benny Jean, Ryan Todd, Molester Moon, and many more smosh guys. _Their faces were the same as Ian's, expressionless.

"Ian, what are you doing?" I said but Ian never even flinched.

"Ian." Brittni cried.

_ "Your efforts to bring him back are useless." _The evil boss spoke coldly into my headset before revealing himself behind Ian and the others, he stepped in front and we got a chance to see who he was: black jacket over his black tank top, and a black cap over his thick head of hair.

"YOU!" I gasped.

Adrian smiled, "Sup, bro?" He greeted, placing an arm around Ian, "What do you think of my army? Pretty cool, huh?" I bottlenecked my anger.

"What did you do with Ian?!" Ian's mom shouted.

"Not much mom, I just brainwashed him, that's all." He scoffed, giving Ian a pat on the head.

"So it ends here." I said, extending out my sword and everyone in my group brought out their own weapons: from bow and arrow to lightsabers.

"Pretty much, but obviously you won't come out of this victorious." Adrian laughed, brandishing his red rock candy saber, "It's the end of the line, emo loser."

The huge number of donuts surrounded us trapping us in the middle of the field. They slowly closed in, ready to attack.

"Prepare for the downfall of Smosh."


	17. Chapter Sixteen: The Battle of Smosh

**Anthony Padilla**

The sun slowly rose up in the sky, blinding us with its dazzling rays and giving the entire park the light it has to offer. Primrose Park was huge, at the far end of the place was the playground we used to shoot videos like _Food Battle_ and our other outdoor Smosh is Bored videos. We stood at the center of the open field surrounded, definitely outnumbered by them, and what made it even worse is that Ian's leading them, brainwashed by his brother Adrian along with the other guys that we were supposed to save. Alongside them was an army of mutant donuts brought to life from _the Food Battle Game_, from little donut holes to large bar donuts. I did a head count: there were only fourteen of us versus hundreds of them. We huddled at the center, our backs pressing against each other as Adrian's monsters closed in. My heart raced, so this is it...

_ This is where it all ends._

I can't fight my best friend. He's the dude I've lived with for almost five years, the person whose willy I've accidentally seen... I just can't. We're brothers for life and now we're gonna fight each other?

_ This can't be happening._

"So this is it, huh?" Billy said. We were all terrified, just waiting for that unavoidable moment.

"I guess so." I swallowed, feeling my legs and hands trembling and heart pounding like crazy.

"We can do this." Link encouraged, but a hint of nervousness can be felt in his tone.

"Ian." I pled, "—don't do this." But he did not respond, "Please."

"What's the matter, Anthony? Can't fight him? Pussy." Adrian guffawed.

"We will beat you." I weakly said, keeping my stance.

"Yeah? You and what army? Oh that's right, you don't have one." He gloated, "BUT I DO!" He laughed, "This is exactly what I wanted: a brutal and epic fight that will cause Smosh's doom." He said in delight, he was power hungry, "—how could you possibly stop me?"

"Well, like what they always say—" I replied, "—TOGETHER."

Adrian's smile faded.

He whispered something barely audible to his brother's ear. Ian's eyes turned sinister, he raised his lightsaber and bellowed, "ATTACK!"

The donuts behind him roared then charged at us with the small donut holes and the Pink Frosted Sprinkled donuts taking the first row, closing in from every angle.

"You guys ready?" I asked, but everyone remained silent as the incoming mutants swarmed, "This may be the last time we will fight."

"Bring it on." Ian's mom cocked her shotgun, her face filled with eagerness and delight, "For Ian. For Smosh."

"FOR SMOSH!" I yelled then we spread out from the center and ran at the donuts, weapons raised in the air and letting out a battle cry, dashing on the open field towards the charging mutants. We were all determined to put an end to his reign of terror, even though we were outnumbered, we will fight till the very end. We were the last and only hope.

Everything seemed to slow down, from the bullet leaving the shotgun to the soft rustling of the leaves. I let out another scream, yelling my best hopes to the heavens as we went closer to the hoard of enemies.

_The Battle of Smosh_ has begun.

The front row of pastries suddenly blew up, turning into tiny charred pieces of bread that flew everywhere and splattering us with pink frosting. We stopped running, surprised by the sudden explosion.

"WHAT THE?!" Adrian's jaw dropped and so did ours. Then another group blew up from afar.

Something big was soaring in the sky, "WOOHOOO PIDGEY, FUCK YEAH!" Someone screamed. Turned out it was a little _Pidgey_ with a bigger rider on its back: _The Metrosexual Hipster, _whose feet were just small enough to stand on the tiny bird's back. "Hell yeah, I've finally upgraded him to fly!" He pumped a fist in the air, guiding the tiny bird around the park as he threw bombs at the donuts and blowing them up to smithereens.

"Perfect timing." Ian's mom remarked as she shot some shells at the jelly donuts, spectacularly blowing up into chunks of bread. Joining the hipster was the _Old Man_ on a _Charizard_, blasting fireballs around the place.

"I never thought you'd be much of a help, old man." Link scoffed.

"CONNOR!" George pointed upwards, on the Pokémon's claws was Connor hanging by his belt.

"Miss us?" The assassin waved before Pokémon's claws threw him upwards and sending him flying in the air. We watched in astonishment as he went up the sky, spreading his arms outward and casting a shadow of an eagle.

He detracted his hidden blade and pulled out his tomahawk as he dove towards a group of donuts.

"TOMAHAWK CHOP IS MY DEATH BLOW." He sang as the metal blade glint in mid air before striking it on a Maple bar donut, chopping it up then fighting the swarming donuts afterwards.

Pure epicness unfolded.

The Wizard took out from his pocket a yellow star with dots for eyes, the iconic _Mario star._

"Anthony, catch!" He threw it, flying like a shuriken. I ran to where it would fall watching it spiral towards the earth.

"Oooh pretty!" Billy ran for the star and jumped for it.

"Billy, that's mine!" I shouted but it was too late, the boy caught the star with his hands. As soon as it came in contact, the star disappeared and Billy's skin flashed white, then the invincibility music from _Super Mario Bros._ started playing.

"What the? HELP ME! I'M BLINKING!" Billy screamed, panicking like crazy, "HEEEEEELP!"

"Billy! It's okay, it's just a powerup." I held his shoulders. "You're invincible now, nothing can hurt you."

Billy stopped squirming, "Really? Oh well, if that's the case, Imma chop me some donut bitches!" The boy brought out his blindfold and stared at it, thinking if he should put it on. "Meh, the heck with it." He threw away the blindfold, drew out his lightsaber and yelled, "I'M INVINCIBLE, BITCH!" before running into battle.

The donuts lunged at him but bounced off the second they touched him much like what happens in _Super Mario_. He slashed away, "This is awesome!" His purple blade swished around, creating whirring noises while hitting countless enemies.

"Hey guys! I guess you need some help?" A squeaky voice came from behind. I turned around, a chubby man child with a button nose.

"Stevie?!" I blurted out, "What are you doing here?"

"I brought some things that you guys might need." He was dragging a large brown chest. "I-I'm sorry if I caused all of this, I didn't mean to, I thought it would be cool be on the bad side for once but it got all scary and sad, Adrian's been treating me like a bitch." He frowned, "—much worse that you guys did."

I opened the chest and inside it was exactly the things we needed, it was a sight for sore eyes. Seeing them pumped more adrenaline into my system, making my inner voice scream with joy. My eyes widened, I smiled big enough that it made my cheeks hurt.

"I'm sorry." Stevie said with puppy dog eyes.

"Apology accepted, Stevie." I smiled and put my arm around him.

_ This is perfect._

I dug inside the box then pulled put a long _Churro blaster_, "Mari, take this." I handed it to her, "You already know what that is, right?"

"Are you calling me a noob? Of course I do!" Her Asian eyes squinted even more then mounted the huge blaster on her shoulder, ran away then fired at the enemies, knocking them down with the cinnamon burst from the barrel. She was laughing maniacally like kid who got into playing _Grand Theft Auto_. "Whoo!" She cheered, firing more.

I went back to the chest and pulled out a heavy sack then threw it to ManSpider.

"What are these?" The guy in tights shook the sack and its contents bounced inside.

"_Burrito Bombs_." I smirked and ManSpider nodded. He dug his six hands into the sack and brought out a bomb then threw one at the enemy. The burrito rolled near a group of donut holes and the clueless donuts drew closer examining the seemingly harmless roll of beef.

After a couple of seconds, the bomb beeped then after a flash of light, they were blown to bits.

I brought out a giant _Chili Pepper Flamethrower_, "These donuts look undercooked." I winked at Cletus.

The hillbilly gladly took it from my hands, "I'm gonna have me some barbecued donuts!" He left, _"Burn baby, burn"_ He sang as he slid between the giant bar donut's legs before pulling the trigger. It shot out flames from the tip frying the donut's crotch and burning the entire thing to a crisp.

He then stood up and set off the flamethrower again as he twirled around, creating a ring of fire around him and scorching every donut that came close.

The Neighbor was still on the motorized segway, "Over there, it's Benny Jean with his flamingo!" A few feet from us was the man dressed in his red and blue checkered polo, _Benny Jean,_ brainwashed but still not losing his love for his plastic lawn flamingo as he cradled it in his arms.

I saw myself reflected on The Neighbor's blue shades as he looked down on me. He gave me a smirk then took off, zooming away from me and heading towards the hillbilly. He swerved then snatched the plastic pet from his grasp, catching him off guard.

"Hey, g-give me back my damn pet flamingo." Benny Jean said flatly. The Neighbor turned his segway around and zoomed past him again. He used a small blade to cut off his belt, causing Benny Jean's pants to drop.

"THAT DAMN NEIGHBOR!" He screamed, pulling up his pants then chasing the man in the turquoise jacket to retrieve his beloved flamingo.

"I'll have the Gummy Whip." Boxman took out a long, blue and red _Giant Gummy Snake_ from the box and whipped it around.

"OW, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WHIPPING THAT!" Brittni shrieked, holding her whipped butt.

"Oh God!" He jolted then rubbed Britt's buttocks, "Sorry." He apologized, but he never removed his hand, he was enjoying the booty.

"Okay, now you're just trying to play with my ass." She slapped him against his cardboard face.

Boxman went into the battle lashing the enemy donut's asses, making the jelly donuts explode with a single whip. He dove through a Pink frosted donut's hole and lashed its arms off, finishing with an epic Iron man pose. Meanwhile, I gave Britt the _Taquito gun_.

Sohinki took the _Egg Roll hammer _from the box but struggled to lift it up, grunting loudly.

"You'll get used to it." I shrugged.

He marched into the war zone dragging the huge-ass hammer. Soon enough he was surrounded by the donuts, forming a circle around him. Sohinki brought the handle overhead and lifted the heavy egg roll from the ground.

"I AM THOR!" He smashed the hammer on the ground with all his might, making a loud bang and creating powerful earthquakes on the surface. The donuts then fell on top of each other like dominoes. Then he held the handle with both hands and swung at group of jelly donuts, they too flew away and landed on top of guys in black.

"This is awesome!" He smashed the hammer again, flattening mint frosted donuts into pancakes.

Everyone was fighting for their lives. Link was fighting against a huge group of jelly donuts, doing his iconic shouts and screams.

"HIYAAAH! HOOOWAAAH!" He shouted, defending himself from their sharp claws. The elf jumped upwards then brought his sword overhead then slashed it down on an orange frosted donut, slicing it vertically in half.

Sgt. Anous was firing his gun everywhere, shouting _'Bullshit'_ everytime before making bullets rain.

I took out the remaining three objects: a small arm cannon and tossed it to Ian's mom, took _The Portal Gun _and equipped it while also attaining my personal favorite Food Battle weapon… _The Celery Sword._

_ TIME TO ROCK AND ROLL._

**Billy Hamburger**

My entire skin was blinking as I fought the incoming mutants, going deeper into the army as the Mario song played the entire time. Their efforts were useless as they ricocheted in which I laughed maniacally at.

"WOOOHOOO!" I yelled as I swished my lightsaber in the air, slicing through the donuts and covering me with frosting.

I licked the sweet topping on my hand, "Mmm, Chocolate!" before shoving my entire hand in my mouth and tasting the delicious diabetes-inducing food.

"Uh, Billy?" Charlie popped from my pocket. I almost forgot that he was in there, "You got any booze in here?" He asked.

"No, why?" This is not the right time to ask for some booze.

"I must get me booze, I can't live without them!" He ranted.

"Now's not the time to get you some." I said.

"You know what happens if I don't get any alcoholic beverages for more than 24 hours!" His raspy voice said worried, "Lasers will shout out of me eyes!"

I bumped into more donuts and effortlessly beat them and they just bounced away from me like dodgeball. I did some jumps, landing and squishing those little evil donut holes.

A maple bar donut stood in front of me, he toppled forwards and I just stood there as it slowly fell, dancing around like an idiot then stuck out my tongue at it.

Then the invincibility powerup slowly wore off, the blinking began to slow down.

"Oh crap." I mumbled. The flashing stopped, in front of me was the gigantic donut doing its body slam. I froze, watching in horror as the shadow of the monster grew bigger.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Charlie bellowed, and with that I snapped back to my senses, jumping out of the way and narrowly avoiding the earth-shaking drop.

The donuts surrounded us, knowing that my ability has gone. They cracked their knuckles and took a step closer, roaring with laughter at the sight of a helpless boy in front of them.

I trembled, "What are we gonna do, Charlie?!" I stuttered.

"I have a plan, put me on the ground." The drunk guinea pig said.

"What? Why?!" I protested.

"JUST DO IT!" He yelled. I flinched then took him out of my pocket before gently placing him on the ground. Charlie crawled closer to the mutants, "Alright you fuckin' poofs, come at me!" He challenged.

The minions did nothing but to mock him._Wrong move, guys._

"You dare mock me?!" Charlie became infuriated, eyes twitching and paws clawing the ground.

His eyes glowed red and steam erupted from it.

"Uh, Charlie? Are you alright?"

The pet let out loud grunts as his eyes turned even redder. His little body was violently shaking, it's like he will explode in any minute.

"YOU-DARE-MOCK-ME?!" He repeated, the fur on his back stood on end.

The donut warriors took the chance; they attacked with the intent of piling up on the guinea pig.

Charlie screamed, shooting out lasers from his glowing eyes, burning holes and frying through the donuts. "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T GET BOOZE!" He yelled, turning his head from side to side firing at more henchmen.

More came from behind; I covered Charlie's back, battling with the guys in black with lightsabers, blocking their every strike. I was dueling with two goons at once, turning every once in a while to deal with their blows.

Until I missed one attack and the blade sliced my sleeve open and burned my skin causing me to drop my sword. I collapsed to my knees screaming my lungs out as the pain soared.

I was at the mercy of the goons, one of them raised his sword above my neck.

"NOOOO!" Charlie turned around and blasted the goons with his laser eyes, launching them in the air, "Billy! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I need to stay strong. I sprang up to my feet and picked up my sword then fought some more.

Then Charlie stopped shooting lasers. More mutants moved in, ready to tear us limb from limb.

"BILLY!"

**Anthony Padilla**

At the farthest part of the field, Billy and Charlie were fighting the donuts with the guinea pig blasting lasers from his eyes. Then Billy was struck by one of the goons but was defended by Charlie, saving him from his doom.

Then the lasers from Charlie's eyes were gone and more donuts swarmed.

"BILLY!" I shot a blue portal on the tree beside me then pointed the portal gun at Billy, aiming at the ground beneath them, "ManSpider! Grenades!" I yelled.

ManSpider knew what to do.

I shot an orange portal on the ground Billy and Charlie were standing. The moment the orange beam hit the grass, the portal opened and the two dropped inside immediately transporting them to the blue opening and ending up tumbling behind me.

At the same time, ManSpider threw a burrito bomb inside as the two went through, rolling it to the donuts that were chasing them at the edge of the field.

I closed the portal...

BOOM!

"YEAH!" I cheered, watching the pieces of bread go up high.

"That was a close one!" Billy lay on the ground with Charlie in his hands, "Thanks, Anthony!" He gave me a tight hug.

"Anytime, kid." I pat his back, "—are you alright?" I checked the burn on his sleeve.

"I'm okay." He smiled, "Now for some more action!" He took out a scarf then wrapped it around the open wound before going back in the battleground. I went alongside him bringing the portal gun while dodging attacks from the mutants, fighting through thick crowds of toppling bar donuts.

I watched everyone fight the massive army of donuts, each and every one of them using their weapons of choice on them. I smiled upon seeing them glad and willing to fight alongside us no matter what, even if their lives would be the cost. And with our teamwork and unity…

_We were unstoppable._

Billy and I kept running at them, taking turns in defeating the donuts.

"Stay away!" Britt yelled as she was cornered by three Chocolate frosted donuts.

"I'll help her, you go and find Adrian!" Billy said, rushing to Brittni's aid then fending off the minions.

I ran across the field, dodging and blocking even more attacks that came in my way, fending off brainwashed Pikachu's thunder shock and Chespin's curse attack whose attack was just swearing obscene words.

"ADRIAN!" I yelled, with anger building up inside me even more.

_ You destroyed our house..._

_ You tried to kill us..._

_ You brainwashed my best friend..._

_ YOU. HAVE. CROSSED. THE. LINE._

"ADRIAN!" I called out once more, this time louder.

Right in front of me was a guy standing in the middle of the chaos, keeping his stance while holding his weapon as it glows blue, his hair brushing just above his scarlet red expressionless eyes, one of the people I would never imagine fighting against...

_ IAN_.

I stopped running, catching my breath and stood opposite him.

"Ian, don't do this." I pled.

I just can't bring myself to fight him. Sure, best friends fight, but not like this where we'd end up killing each other.

"Who's Ian?" He tilted his head then twirled his lightsaber.

"I don't wanna fight you." I stuttered.

"I do." Ian smirked.


	18. Chapter Seventeen:Food Battle Revolution

**Anthony Padilla**

Amidst the ensuing war, Ian and I stood a few feet away from each other weapons drawn, with one waiting for the pounce of the other. I stared into his scarlet irises that seemed to have no soul.

Adrian appeared behind his brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Have fun, bro." He smirked.

Ian ran forwards, spinning his lightsaber. He stepped on top of a pink frosted sprinkled donut then launched himself in the air, raising his weapon overhead.

I had no choice but to prepare for the inevitable.

Our blades collided, creating a bright spark and a loud crackle upon impact. Ian broke the link of the swords and began swinging from every angle, he was quick and agile, like he was doing it with ease.

"STOP!" I yelled while fending off his attacks and avoiding fatal slashes of his lightsaber before managing to give him a right hook in the face. I smiled that I was gaining the upper hand but at the same time regretted hitting him. Ian turned back to face me with blood dripping from his nose, and that angered him even more.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

Ian struck and the blades crossed paths again, resuming the fight. He threw a punch but I blocked it with my portal gun. He attacked again, this time hitting me in the abdomen with his knee then smacking me across the face with the hilt of his sword. I took steps backward, stunned by the blow with half of my face numb and tasting blood in my mouth.

My vision blurred, nothing but fuzzy images of the things around me and all I could hear was my heart racing and my heavy breathing. I was growing tired...this is impossible.

_ I can't fight him any longer._

Among the blurred figures of explosions and people battling donuts, one ran at me with a long sword in hand. Ian charged like a raging bull.

I defended myself again, leading to another violent showdown. I gave him punch in the gut, only for him to retaliate by elbowing me across the face.

"I-IAN!" I kept on calling out. I was now half blind while fighting him. My eye was swollen by the bashes I had endured. We slashed swords and threw punches yet there was no stopping him. Bright flashes of light swished while the fast-paced duel occurred.

"SNAP OUT OF IT PLEASE!" I cried out of breath. He threw another punch at my gut, making me drop the portal gun.

_ He had become a mindless, unstoppable killing machine._

A slash of blue blade cut through my shirt.

"AAAAARRRGH!" I screamed as the blade grazed my chest, scorching the skin underneath. I fell to my knees and reached for my torn shirt, feeling the open wound as large as my palm. The pain was too much.

"Finish him." Adrian ordered.

I caught a glimpse of Ian ready to deliver the final strike.

"I-IAN!" I locked blades with him again, "P-PLEASE S-STOP!" I said, seeing myself reflected in his eyes filled with rage. He still did not hear anything, he just kept striking and beating me down to my knees as loud crackles came from our lightsabers. I was weakly defending myself from his countless attacks. It seemed endless as there was no sign of him growing weak.

"N-NO." I stood up and shoved him away but he struck again, slashing from the side. And with one clean swipe he knocked my sword from my grasp, sending it flying upwards and away from us.

The whole world trembled the moment I took the uppercut to my jaw. I saw stars all over and spat out blood from my mouth.

I fell hard on the playground on my back, dazed by the fight. My face was moist with sweat and blood. I was catching my breath like crazy, taking large gasps of air with the sound of my pulse throbbing in my temples. I was beaten shitless, I kept thinking to myself: _this is hopeless._

I turned my head to the side and watched the fuzzy images of people fighting against the empire with echoing explosions and firing guns.

I let out a sigh under my breath, there was no way to beat him.

Then a sound of approaching footsteps came from a few feet away, I weakly rose my head up to see Ian walking with lightsaber in hand, ready to end this.

I struggled to rise up to my elbows then dragged myself away from the approaching enemy. "N-no." I inched myself as far away as possible from him, but Ian moved in faster. I searched for any sign of a rock candy hilt but couldn't find sign of it whatsoever. My eyes kept scanning the place until I caught sight of it.

Shit.

It was at the top of the children's slide.

Ian drew closer with his dark intention waiting to be realized, toying with his rock candy blade as he took more steps.

_ I was defenseless and at his mercy._

My elbows kept on pulling my weakened body from him with my strength slowly ebbing away. It was until then I backed into pole, it was dead end. My arms buckled and I slumped back on the ground, staring up the sky again and experiencing minor flashbacks of what happened to us in these past adventures:

_ Me throwing pee bombs at the pursuing cops…_

_ Almost being violated by teenage Adrian…_

_ Getting chased by Molester Moon…_

_Unleashing hell in a port a potty after eating prunes…_

_ Being mistakenly accused by Billy that Ian and I were doing something else in the van..._

_ Battling donuts back at the Company with Link strapped to my back..._

_ Learning to drive a Manual..._

Quite an adventure we had only for it to end like this... _Where one kills the other._

I was interrupted when Ian stopped a few feet from where I was, observing me like a curious child then smiling like a predator that was going in for the kill.

"I-Ian, p-please." I reached out a hand, with one last effort to stop him. I was crying, tears flowing from my eyes begging for mercy and unable to accept the fact that Ian would actually do this.

"Looks like you're out of weapons." He cackled.

"P-please..." My hand reaching out for him trembled. "D-dont." I choked out from my bloodied mouth.

_ Ian, don't do this_.

Through my half-blinded vision, Ian raised his sword again...

"IAAAAAAN!"

I just closed my eyes.

The earth beneath me disappeared and I fell into a deep abyss as my last thought was of Ian and Smosh.

_ I've failed them. I've failed everyone. Smosh will be no more than a memory._

Then I dropped onto something solid, cold and metal.

"Wha—?" I gasped then opened my eyes: in front of me was a long metal bridge that led to the monkey bars of the playground. I was on top of the bridge that links the bars to the kids' slide.

_ What the hell just happened?_

Right above me was the roof of the bridge with a blue portal that slowly closed and on the other side of it was Ian with his jaw hanging open shocked by what had just happened.

It was a portal. I'm alive.

At the far end of the sandbox, Billy stood there holding the portal gun with its barrel smoking blue. "ANTHONY RUN! I'LL COVER YOU!" He said, aiming the gun.

I rolled to my belly when suddenly a blue beam of light poked through the metal floor, popping just mere inches away from my face. "WHOA CRAP!" I moved away from the glowing blade.

Ian pulled out the sword and stabbed the floor again, this time it appeared next to my crotch.

"Whoa! Look dude, I know you want roasted nuts, but I ain't giving up mine." I jolted upon seeing it. I rolled over some more, avoiding more stabbing. I hurriedly rose to my feet just as Ian leapt onto the metal bridge, his face still burning with desire to kill. He stood there blocking the way to the slide where my weapon was.

"RUN!" Billy yelled again. Without any hesitation, I sprinted away from Ian and ran to the monkey bars. His blue blade slashed from behind, I avoided it and it hit one of the railings.

"Crap." I climbed above the bars, stepping on top of the metal rungs then balancing myself on one. Below me was a just five foot drop, but it felt like it was higher at the moment.

Then someone snuck behind me and I ducked just as a blue blade flew over me, missing my head by mere inches. It would've ended badly if I didn't duck.

"Whoa!" I moved to another rung, careful not to slip then turned around to face Ian who had also climbed after me and was balancing himself on the bars.

He swung again, this time he struck lower. I skipped over the glowing sword, landing back and almost losing my balance. I ducked again and tripped him.

His legs dropped down between the bars, falling on his balls.

"AAARGH!" Ian grunted as he clutched his manhood, screaming like a schoolgirl.

"That's gotta hurt." I cringed and held my own teabags. Still, Ian did not stop there. He kept fighting even though he had a nut-cracker, slashing his blade at me.

"JUMP!" Billy bellowed. The minute I leapt from the bars, an orange portal opened on the sand, transporting me to the underside of the metal bridge. It closed as soon as I went through, leaving Ian at the far end and on top of the monkey bars.

Ian jumped from the bars and chased me, striking his sword around the place, I bent backwards then ducked leading to more matrix stuff happening.

"INTO THE PORTAL!" A blue opening appeared on the tree beside the sandbox. I took it, diving into it and leading me to the bottom of the slide.

I landed face first on the sand but soon got up then climbed up the ladder. Every inch of my body ached, screaming everytime I made a step. I was making a slow progress. Ian pursued again, running from the tree and this time even more pissed.

Then suddenly he dropped through a new portal, sending him back to the farthest end of the playground. _That bought some time._

I continued to struggle pulling myself up the ladder, yelling in agony feeling my entire body breaking down from the injuries.

Finally reaching the top of the slide, I lay on the metal platform. The bruises throbbed and the wounds hurt. I quickly stumbled to my feet looking for my weapon but it was nowhere to be found, there were just piles of dead leaves scattered around the place.

At the end of the metal bridge, Ian was charging towards the slide letting out a fearsome battle cry. His heavy footsteps shook the entire platform, getting closer and closer.

"Shit." I whimpered, looking left and right to find my sword, knowing that I have little time to find it.

The sounds of Ian's lightsaber grew louder.

In the corner of my eye, a wooden hilt was buried amongst the piles of leaves.

He raised the blue rock candy. Time slowed down as I grabbed the hilt with both my hands as Ian brought down his blade.

Blue met Green.

The spark between the two colliding swords was more brilliant than before along with the loud crackling from both. I felt the surge of adrenaline rush within me, battling Ian with my remaining ounce of strength, dueling for my life.

But he soon regained the upper hand, locking the blades and bringing it to my neck.

He shoved me to the railing making me lean over it, "Any last words?" Ian said out of breath, bringing the blades closer.

Then something really random crossed my mind, I hope this works...

"Yeah." I stuttered, "BALLS."

Ian gasped, dropped the swords then slammed his head on the railing making a loud clang. He got off of me, dazed by what he'd done. I took the chance, giving Ian a powerful punch in the face. He fell and hit his head again on the metal platform of the playground, knocked out.

IT WORKED!

Queue Food Battle check sound.

"I'm sorry, man." I sighed, trying to maintain my balance.

"Anthony!" I turned my head to see Billy going up the ladder, coming to my aid.

Exhausted from the fight, I swayed around then fell beside my best friend, feeling light headed and trembling everywhere. I stared at his unconscious face and saw the bruises and wounds, his crooked nose bleeding and cheeks in a shade of purple.

_ I could hear fangirls squealing._

"That's one hell of a fight back there, bud." I said. My eyelids slowly closed and I welcomed the darkness...

_Everything was dark. Just the way I like it._

"Anthony!" I felt Billy placing my head on his lap, "Don't die on me please!" He sobbed and I felt tears falling on my cheeks.

I didn't wanna speak for a while, I was completely drained.

"Don't die." He started crying. "NO! PLEASE!"

"I'm not dying, you idiot!" I scolded, "I'm just—" I settled my head on his lap, "—resting." I sighed, still with my eyes closed.

"You sure?" He sniffed.

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Good." His man child voice chuckled.

"Thanks for saving my ass back there. Again." I pat his back.

"It's nothing, that's what friends do, right?"

Then something moved under my head, a lump growing under Billy's pants.

"Please don't tell me that's a boner." I shivered, still refusing to open my eyes.

"Hello? I'm still inside Billy's pocket, remember? Now get off, you're crushing the shit outta me." Charlie's British voice mumbled from inside Billy's pocket.

"Aw sod off, wanker." I shuffled my head away from the lump.

**George Washington**

Explosions. Explosions everywhere, from air strikes to flying grenades, devastating majority of the park, brothers and friends fighting against each other and mutant donuts attacking from every angle.

I slid under a pair of white donuts, pulling out the guns from their holsters then blasting their legs off. The donut toppled over, causing the ground to shake. I spun around and reloaded my gun while hitting more mutants with my porcelain tutu.

Then ManSpider yelled, "SOHINKI, BATTER UP!" He threw a burrito bomb at Sohinki who responded by raising the egg roll hammer then smacking the bomb like a baseball.

"STEEEERIKE!" He cheered as the bomb flew into a large group of donuts, detonating upon impact.

Mari teamed up with Brittni, standing back to back with her and firing their guns at the surrounding donuts. She blasted them with clouds of cinnamon while Britt shot her Taquito Gun.

From afar, The Neighbor was still on his motorized segway with the flamingo in his hand, enjoying the moment as Benny Jean chased him.

"H-h-hey, you d-damn n-neighbor. G-give me—" The hillbilly collapsed, tired from chasing him around the park.

Meanwhile, Cletus was having fun scorching the donuts, unleashing large amounts of flames from his chili pepper.

"That's hot!" He remarked.

Then all of a sudden, something popped into my head. I saw Connor not far from me, he gave me a sign that only the two of us knew.

I placed my guns back in their holsters.

He threw me _the Celery Sword_ before charging into the new wave of donuts, catching it with my left before ducking under their grasping arms and sliding on the grass.

_ "Revolution I lead with the world I got beef—"_ I chopped their legs off with one swift movement of the sword.

I stood up, _"_—_I dig my wigs powdered, wear boxers, I don't wear briefs!"_ I did a ballerina twirl at the donuts.

"_You can't step up to me, and my gang!_" I kept running into them, placing the sword in an empty sword sheathe on my belt then pulling out my guns.

BANG! BANG! BANG! I shot it like the beat of the music. "_Horse and carriage drive by's bullet in the chamb"_ I reloaded my gun while doing another spin.

_ "Ridin' over your clique, like the Delaware son—"_ I riddled donuts with bullets.

_ "I get my face on the dollar before this shit's done!"_ I stopped running, hearing the donuts fall on the ground.

Connor took the next wave.

**Connor Kenway**

George ended his rap. It's my turn. My heart pumped fast, I was excited to do it. _I'm gonna enjoy this. _

"_How many fools can I kill today? Too many to count don't get in my way." _I could just hear the song playing in my head as I prepped my hidden blade to fight the jelly donuts.

I pulled out my bow and arrow, _"I shoot a mofo in the throat with my bow—"_ I sang, releasing the arrow and hitting a maple bar donut, causing it to fall on top of little donut holes.

I jumped high, spinning my Tomahawk in the air.

"_Tomahawk chop is my death blow."_ I landed on a Pink donut and chopped it to pieces, "_Tomahawk, tomahawk._" I chanted, _"Tomahawk, Tomahawk." _I jabbed my hidden blade through a jelly donut making it explode upon impact.

I landed on my knees and placed the axe back into my belt after giving it a twirl, "_TOMAHAWK, TOMAHAWK_."

The mutants around me were either chopped to pieces of missing a limb. That was fun.

We joined the others again at the center, watching Link and Sgt. Anous defending themselves from more attackers. A few minutes later, they emerged in victory.

"I'm so sorry jelly donut!" Sgt. Anous went to the donut and ate it like he did last time.

"Still looks so wrong." I wrinkled my nose.

"I guess that's a hundred of them." George said breathless.

"How many left?" Link asked.

"Less than two hundred, I think."

"Damn." The elf's ears twitched.

"But hey, at least there's no big ones from the game." I chuckled.

Then a sound of thundering footsteps rocked the ground, getting louder by the second...

"Oh. My. Donut." My jaw dropped. _I spoke too soon._

A giant Pink Frosted Sprinkled donut as big as a house emerged, its big black eyes looked down at us before letting out an ear splitting roar. Adrian appeared by the monster's foot then rubbed his hand on it, "Hey Edd, breakfast time." He grinned.

The donut roared again, shattering windows of nearby houses.

"That's one big-ass donut." Sgt. Anous said, staring up the mutant from head to toe.

"Any ideas?" I asked Link who also was stunned by the huge donut.

"Yeah, but I can't do it alone." The elf said.


	19. Chapter Eighteen: The Fall of the Empire

**Ian Hecox**

The sounds of explosions and guns came to my ears and the smell of grass crawled up my nose. I opened my eyes but it was hard to as a burning sensation surrounded my eyelid. Soon enough I managed to get it halfway open, then noticed that I was lying down on a cold metal floor with the cloudless sky up above.

I was outdoors.

Then I realized that I couldn't move as every budge sent surges of pain. I turned my head to the left then to the right by rolling it sideways on the metal floor. The familiar surroundings: an open field and a green and brown painted playground…_Primrose Park._

Then something moved near my feet, it was a guy sitting on the floor. I raised my head up a little to see who it was: the man was heavily bruised, wounded with blood flowing from the cuts on his eyebrow and cheeks. A smile formed on his cracked lip the moment he noticed me regain my consciousness.

_ He looks familiar..._

I sat up, looking at his facial features and noticing one thing that was immediately recognizeable:

_ An ugly butt-nose._

"A-Anthony?" I forced the words out of my mouth, still focusing my blurred eyesight.

He let out a weak chuckle, "H-hey buddy." He stood up, "You're back." bending down and putting his arm on my shoulder. The white cast on his arm had turned brown, he was really dirty.

"W-What the hell happened? Did we get drunk last night?" I asked.

Anthony laughed. "Nope."

I saw rips and scorches on his green shirt with dark scruff marks on it.

"Whoa, you alright?" I asked, slightly worried, "—are you hurt?"

Anthony brought his arms outward, "Well what the hell does it look like?" He rolled his eyes.

"I guess you're alright then." I joked. "Agh! Why does my head hurt?" A stinging pain soared in on my forehead. I gently rubbed it and felt two lumps near the center, "Do you have a mirror?"

Anthony took out his phone and turned on the front camera before handing it to me. I saw my face looking just as bad as Anthony's: bruised and bloodied. I parted my bangs upward to see the two throbbing and painful bruises on it.

"I look like a demon." I cried, "It looks like little horns."

"Now all you need is a tail to match that." He laughed, "—and a pitch fork."

I returned his phone, "Can you explain to me what the fuck just happened?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but for the first time," He sighed, "—you almost have beaten the shit outta me." He offered me his hand which I took. He pulled me to my feet, "—and almost killed me."

"Whoa, whoa, _'almost killed you?'_" I gasped, "Why on earth will I do that?" I still felt light-headed and dizzy.

"You almost kinda did if it weren't for Billy saving my ass." He explained.

"Wait a minute, why would I?" I wrinkled my forehead in confusion.

"Take a look at this." Anthony gestured to the open field: There was pure chaos in the park, the Smosh crew were battling mutant donuts and the guys in black. They were equipped with weapons from the _Food Battle Game_. Up in the sky was a Pidgey being ridden by the Metrosexual Hipster and a Charizard was soaring with the old man on it, rounding the field as they threw bombs and breathed fire at the army of donuts.

"Whoa, what'd I miss?" I scratched my aching head.

"Only the coolest _Battle of Smosh!_" Billy suddenly appeared.

"The last time I remember is that Adrian got me tied up in a wheelchair." I remember it vividly: I was tied down to a wheelchair being forced by Adrian to lead his army. I held on the railing for balance, "Ow! And why does my privates hurt?" The pain in my ballsacks stung.

"Heh." Billy scoffed, "Luckily, I got a video of that moment." Billy brought out his phone and played a video. The clip showed me and Anthony on top of the monkey bars with me going apeshit trying to strike him with my lightsaber.

"Whoa, that's kinda cool." I remarked at the action.

"Not cool when you're trying to chop my head off." Anthony rolled his eyes.

"Wait, here comes the best part." The boy laughed. I watched myself swing at Anthony in which he ducked then countered by knocking me off balance resulting me getting a nut cracker.

"Ooooh." I shuddered.

_ "Anthony jump!" _Billy's voice said from the video. Anthony in the video leapt from the monkey bars then the video suddenly ended.

"That's it?" I frowned. _What a damn cliffhanger._

"Sorry, I had to stop recording." He said, apologizing for the abrupt end.

I supported my weight on the railing, clumsily maintaining my balance as we watched the battle unfold at the center of the park: at the center was one giant donut, stomping the entire ground as someone climbed up its side then doing some insane stunts before bringing it down to the ground causing the earth to shake.

"Whoa." I stared in awe, "That's sick."

We went down the playground and onto the grassy field.

"Ian!" A woman's voice called out, I turned around and it was Brittni and Mari.

They ran to us and Mari flung her arms around me, "That was so intense!" she said, "You definitely almost killed Anthony."

"I did huh?"

"Glad to know you're back." She said while we're still locked in the embrace. Mari let go afterwards, moving to hug Anthony.

Britt then threw herself at me, pulling me into a tight bear hug, "Ow! Ow! Watch the ballsacks!" I joked.

She pulled away, "Are you okay?" then checked my burn marks and wounds.

"Yeah I'm fine." I smiled then pulled her back into a hug, and this time, tighter. The feeling of her ginger hair brush against my stubble and the whiff of her perfume was just amazing.

Then I heard leaves rustling, someone was sneaking towards us: a goon aimed his gun at Britt's back.

"NO!" I broke from the hug and went in front of her.

The goon fired his gun.

I was whimpering and gasping for air. It happened so fast, the next thing I knew I was thrown aback by the bullet that hit me squarely in the chest.

"NOOOO!" Mari screamed while Anthony took Britt's Taquito gun and shot the guy. I fell down, Anthony and Britt caught me in their arms before gently placing me on the ground.

"Oh God! Ian, stay with us man." Anthony held my trembling hand, "Stay with me, bro!"

"Why did you do that?!" Britt scolded me as she gripped my hand tightly.

"I d-don't want you to get sh-shot." I stuttered, shaken by the encounter. I reached for the bullet hole and felt the squib inside.

"You crazy man." She sobbed, placing one hand on my chest as she tried to comfort me.

"Please don't die too." Billy cried.

"Don't leave me, man." Anthony said with tears flowing down his face. The four of them were restless, not knowing what to do at this moment. Their faces looked down at me crying, holding both my hands. Mari took out a scarf and put it on my open wound. "HELP!" Anthony shouted. "BILLY GET HELP!" Billy stood up and ran.

"Billy no!" I said, stopping the boy in his tracks "Ant—" I gasped for air. "I-I'll be fine."

"HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU BE FINE?! YOU'VE BEEN SHOT!" Anthony shouted, bawling his eyes out, "DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!"

Britt began crying as she ran her fingers through my hair, "Ian..." droplets of her tears fell on my face.

"D-don't cry." I wiped her cheek with my thumb then weakly pointed to my chest.

"Wha—" Anthony lifted my shirt and his tearful eyes disappeared. "You dick." He laughed then wiped the tears from his eyes. Britt lifted my shirt up and they all let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you Sgt. Anous." I mumbled.

I was wearing _body armor._

"So that's what it feels like to get shot." I said and they laughed.

"Oh God, I thought you were dying." Brittni smiled wide, lifting me up from the ground then placing my head on her lap gently caressing my cheeks.

"I can't even remember since when I was—" She cut me off by suddenly slamming her lips onto mine, surprising me. I was like WHOA. My eyes grew big while Anthony's jaw dropped. I was caught off guard by her sudden kiss.

It felt really good. Her warm and tender lips gave me chills. I smiled then closed my eyes, not pulling away from her sudden 'attack'. Instead, I gently held her closer, slowly melting into the kiss.

She pulled away, shocked at what she did, "S-sorry, I—" her cheeks turned scarlet, "T-thanks for s-saving me." She bit her lip and tried to force a smile.

I smiled, "I-uh. I-It's cool." I chuckled awkwardly, feeling my cheeks heat up, blushing uncontrollably.

"Uh, l-let's g-go find t-the others?" She asked then helped me up.

"I-Great i-idea." I said without breaking eye contact with her. We shared a laugh then I placed an arm around her. I whispered into her ear, "That was awesome." And she blushed profusely.

**Link**

** "**Yeah, but I can't do it alone." I said while observing the towering donut with its large menacing eyes, pink frosted face and rainbow colored sprinkles, watching its big foot stomp the ground that sent minor tremors, "Connor? Where are you?" I said to my headset.

_ "I'm right behind the donut."_ He replied.

"Good, you're in the exact same spot where I wanted you to be." I said.

We formed a circle around the giant, "What are we gonna do?" Ian's mom asked.

"Follow my lead." The enormous mutant raised its hand and brought it down on where we were standing. "MOVE!" We jumped from the place as the huge palm smashed the ground.

"MANSPIDER!" I yelled. The guy in tights threw a bomb at the donut's face, exploding upon impact and momentarily disorienting it, "Connor shoot!"

Connor stretched his bow and shot an arrow with a long length of rope connected to it, sending it flying upwards and burying itself between the donuts eyes. It let out an agonized scream and tried to hit us with its giant hand.

George and Ian's mom went in front and blasted the monster's fingers off with their guns. It wailed as I climbed up its hand, burying my fingers down its pink frosting and pulling myself up. It was then that its other arm flew above me, preparing to smack me like a mosquito.

Then suddenly its hand exploded, completely mangling it.

"Go! I got your back!" The Metrosexual Hipster said as he was circling the donut on his Pokémon and throwing bombs at it.

I climbed to its side when his other arm tried to grab me. Then a huge fireball was shot into it burning it into a crisp.

"I got the other side!" The old man said as he ordered Charizard to blow fireballs.

The way up there wasn't easy because of the slippery surface of the giant thing and it had been struggling to shake me off. I was able to climb on top of the donut, walking near the spot where the arrow was. The rope was still there, swaying about as the monster wagged it head.

I unsheathed my Master Sword creating that glorious metal clang, readying myself for the kill.

"Here goes everything." I prepared for the jump but the angry donut roared even louder, sending vibrations throughout its entire form.

"WHOA! WHOA!" I slipped from its head and began sliding along its side on my belly. I clawed on the surface desperately trying to get a grip. "WHOA SHIT!"

My hand was able to grab on one of the open cuts on the donut's side, saving me from my plummet.

But I wasn't able to catch my sword.

"MY SWORD!" I watched it fall down and impale itself three feet into the ground. _Damn._

I was hanging on for dear life.

"Link!" The old man flew to my aid to catch me but was smacked away by the hand of the giant. The two crashed on the field with the impact injuring the flying Pokémon.

Down below, I saw Sohinki with the giant hammer which gave me an idea.

"PLAN B!" I yelled then climbed back up the donut. I reached the top again after a few more dodges from its grasp then leapt from its head, outstretching my arms to grab the line linked to the arrow.

I ended up hanging between its mouth while I clutched the rope. I swung from side to side then planted my feet on the frosting then began running and wrapping around its entire body all while avoiding its flailing arms.

"Boxman catch!" I threw the end of the rope to him in which he used his gummy whip to get the line. I landed on the chin of the donut and getting myself covered in its frosting saliva.

"PULL!" Boxman bellowed as the others helped him. They circled a tree and pulled again, tightening the binds, "He's not falling down!" They struggled but the donut was strong.

"SOHINKI, THROW ME THE HAMMER!" I said and Matt began swirling the big egg roll hammer around and gained speed. He yelled the moment he let go and the hammer went up the sky, spinning and flying towards me.

I jumped upwards to intercept the flying hammer's path. My heart skipped a beat as I took that giant leap to catch the flying egg roll.

My hands felt the wooden handle and gripped it tight as I flew upwards, taking a deep breath and bringing the hammer sideways then using all my strength to swing it back.

"BAD EDD!" I swung the hammer directly at its face, "HYAAAAAH!"

BANG! Directly between the eyes.

The bang was like a cannon blast as the powerful blow sent the donut falling backwards, crushing little minions and shaking the ground.

"Oh yeah!" I landed on top of its frosting-covered face declaring victory and the others cheered. I smiled upon seeing them rejoice at the defeat of the monster.

It was a blissful moment until a bright red rod protruded from my chest.

**Ian Hecox**

"LINK, NOOOOO!" We shrieked as Adrian's lightsaber stuck out of the elf's chest, going through his heart. Link could only let out a grunt as he saw the sword being stabbed through his body.

Adrian brutally yanked the sword out and pushed the dying elf to the ground. "SEND IN MORE DONUTS!" He yelled.

Then more giant footsteps rocked the ground, two more gigantic mutants showed up.

"LINK!" We surrounded him. He was shaking uncontrollably and gasping for air.

"I-I t-think this i-is the part where L-Link dies, r-right?" He stuttered, his blue eyes filled with tears.

"No! Don't you say that." Anthony cradled his head, "You are strong, no one can defeat the one and only Link."

"S-So much for b-being a hero." He laughed then coughed. I looked at his stab wound: it was just a hole through his abdomen, cauterized by the heat of the lightsaber.

"Damn." I cried, "You'll be alright." I don't know what to say anymore as I saw his blue eyes slowly turn grey.

"G-get th-that a-asshole for m-me." The elf said as a streak of blood flowed from the side his mouth

"N-No." Anthony cried.

Link's eyes froze, staring blankly up the cloudless sky. His head and hands slumped down, his body turned feeble and shrunken, turning paler. I tried finding his pulse but couldn't find it.

Link was dead, murdered in front of us.

"NO! Oh God no!" A river of tears came from my eyes and the others, "PLEASE GOD NO!"

"ADRIAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Anthony yelled as he shook the lifeless body. Then he dug something from the elf's pocket: a small vial with a blue liquid inside. He popped the cork off then shoved it down Link's mouth, emptying the entire bottle.

"Please work..." Anthony and I prayed.

The once blank blue eyes were suddenly filled with life again.

"AAAAGGGHHHH!" Link gasped for air, "That was intense!" He sat up and checked his newly healed wound: there was only a burnt hole in his olive-green shirt but there were no signs of scars or burn marks on his skin.

"YOU'RE ALIVE!" All of us went in for a group hug.

"What's that coming from his crotch?" Mari pointed at Link's privates as something rose under it, "OH GOD, NOT AGAIN!" She shielded her eyes.

"It's gonna poke my eye out!" Billy shrieked.

"I-it's the side effect." Anthony brushed it off.

"You think it's over?" Adrian spoke, "Get 'em, big fella." He ordered a donut. The giant chocolate frosted donut took huge steps forward, closing its fists and growling as it approached.

"RUN!" I exclaimed, but then an orange frosted giant donut blocked the other way and they surrounded us. The mutants raised their fists in the air ready to flatten us with their strike.

I went up front, outstretching my arms and putting the others behind me attempting to protect them even though it won't work. I watched in horror as the hands were brought down on us, waiting for the time when we get crushed...

...but there was nothing.

I glanced up to discover that both of their huge hands were hovering above us. Somehow something must've stopped them.

Then I remembered what Adrian said last time: _'—they only take orders from one person, and that my dear brother, is YOU.'_

They removed their hands above us and placed them back to their sides standing like soldiers, awaiting commands from their master they must not kill.

From the distance, Adrian's expression changed from sinister to surprise.

I smirked, "Didn't think that one out, did ya?" I gloated. He slowly backed away as the other small donuts formed behind me, taking our side and leaving Adrian and his goons.

"My, have the tables turned." Anthony stood by my side, "Now, Adrian, I think it's my time to say: PREPARE FOR THE FALL OF THE EMPIRE." My best friend then shot me a satisfied look.

"You should write that one down." I smirked, "HAVE FUN BOYS! But not too much fun, bite but don't chew." I ordered.

They roared and charged at Adrian's remaining henchmen. They were able to catch up to the fleeing goons and piled on top of them, gathering and tying all of them together.

"The battle is over." Charlie sighed as we witnessed the fall of my brother and his men.

"That was awesome." Billy remarked.

"So how do we deal with the other brainwashed guys?" I asked Anthony referring to the mindless meat puppets behind me who stood there like Walkers.

"Same that I did to you, a hit in the head will do." Anthony grinned.

"Wouldn't it be too violent for the readers?" I asked.

"Well, what the writer says goes." He shrugged, "It's his story."

"Alright then!" Everyone grabbed their weapons and began hitting the heads of the mind-controlled people with it.

CLANG! SMACK! SLAM! Every hit knocked them to the ground.

Stevie spoke up, "Hey guys! I found a way to reverse the brainwa—" He froze as soon as he saw us hitting the other guy's heads. "Oh, so I guess you won't be needing this anymore." He dropped the laptop, grabbed a shovel then swung it at Joven's face, knocking him unconscious.

Stevie swung again, hitting Anthony in the head.

"OW! I'M NOT ONE OF THEM, YOU FUCK NUGGET!" Anthony bellowed threatening to hit him with his lightsaber.

"Sorry!" He flinched.

"Ian! Anthony!" Britt returned from checking the captured goons, "There's no sign of Adrian."

"WHAT?!" We gasped. Then the familiar pain entered my chest again, I collapsed on the ground in need of air, Anthony was on the ground writhing in pain as well.

"AARGH! He must've gone back in time again!" I clutched my chest. Anthony took out a small picture from his pocket and showed it to me. It was the same '_Santa is Real_' picture from last time: our heads were fading away from the photo again.

The others helped us up, "N-not ag-again." I mumbled, "Wh-where's Teleporting Fat Guy when you need him?"

"He's right there." Stevie pointed to an unconscious obese man lying on the ground wearing a dirty white sleeveless shirt and short blue shorts.

"Somebody wake him up." Anthony wheezed.

Billy knelt beside Teleporting Fat Guy and tried shaking him awake, "Wake up Mr. Teleporting Fat Guy!" He said but he did not respond. Billy sighed then slapped him loud enough for us to hear it, making us cringe.

TFG finally woke up, shaking his head, "Whoa, what happened?" He was shaken awake.

"Long story. Adrian has gone back to the past." I said as I felt my knees growing weak.

"What?!" He stood up and I saw the big hand mark on his cheek as it turned red.

"We must to go back after him. Do you still have the glove or the duplicate?" I limped closer to him with my mom and Britt supporting my weight.

"The- The DeLorean!" He blurted out.

"But the Flux Capacitor's gone!" Anthony argued.

"There's a spare glove in there."

Anthony and I both looked at each other, "What? Where?" We said in unison.

"Duh, the _glove compartment_." He rolled his eyes.

We hurried back to the Smosh house where I saw nothing but charred debris where our house should've been and the only thing left standing in one piece was the bathtub in my room.

"Wh-wha—?" I was deeply saddened.

"Adrian." Anthony said, the look on his face was saddening, mourning over the loss house.

"That bastard." What he did made me hate him even more.

TFG went into the DeLorean Time Machine and opened the glove compartment where the familiar grey glove with the Nintendo buttons was.

He took it out then handed it to me, "Wait, how will we know where—er, _when_ he has gone to?" I asked as I slid on the glove.

"The glove will detect the duplicate at what time it went." He explained. The glove lit up and the small screen indicated where the other glove has traveled:

_03-15-2003; 20:15_

"Wait, March 15th, 2003?" It all came to me again, "—the time when we saved our teenage selves?!"

"Oh my, this is not good." TFG worriedly spoke, "—if Adrian sabotages your other selves' rescue then this will never happen thus creating a paradox. You gotta closely follow him while avoiding your counterparts from seeing you or else the consequences could be disastrous." TFG said.

"That's heavy." I said trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. After watching the _Back to the Future Trilogy_ dozens of times, I realized that the matter at hand is dangerous and must be dealt with caution as one wrong move could create a chain of events that could completely destroy the entire universe.

"Stop him from altering the past that you had previously altered. You have to hurry, time is running out."

"You're not coming?" I asked him.

"I have to stay behind and fix this DeLorean, I'll catch up with you later. Go."

"Alright, here we go." I said, punching in the coordinates into the glove.

"Wait, I'm coming with you." My mom said.

"Mom, you've been a lot today." I tried reasoning, "I'm not taking any chances."

"You're my son and so is Adrian, so I'm coming with you whether you like it or not." She said firmly, and by looking at her eyes, she was dead serious.

I took her hand while Anthony placed his hand on my shoulder. Everyone stepped backwards while I looked at each and every one of them: they have been through a lot just to fight for Smosh, especially _Link, Connor, George, Billy, Charlie, ManSpider and Sgt. Anous,_ without them helping us we would've been captured since day one.

"Thanks guys, for everything." I smiled as some tears welled in the corner of my eyes, "See you later."

They gave us a round of applause.

"Wait!" Britt stepped closer to us and wrapped her arms around me, giving me a light kiss on the cheek, "Take care." She said.

"I will." I whispered to her ear. She stepped backwards to let us begin the temporal displacement. I took a deep breath and looked at my mother, "Ready, mom?" I asked.

"I was ready even before you were born, son." She smiled and her eyes behind her round spectacles squinted.

I turned to the other side, Anthony, my best friend who was always there by my side no matter what, "Ready, man?"

"Always, brother." He nodded and smiled. And with those words, I pressed the big blue button on the glove and we were swallowed by a bright flash of light.

It's _SMOSH AGAINST TIME._


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Smosh Against Time

**Ian Hecox**

The sounds of cars driving and leaves rustling filled my ears and my feet felt solid ground. I inched my eyes open and we were standing on the sidewalk with a group of buildings in front of us and the school just across the road.

"Did we make it?" Anthony asked, still with his hand on my shoulder.

Then a loud scream came from an alleyway. We followed the sounds and went deeper into the alley: a jet black _Subaru Impreza_ with the windows down was parked there rocking violently. We went closer to the car to see what was happening and gasped as soon as we saw who was inside: it was other Anthony wearing girl clothes fending off teenage Adrian's affections. I looked back at the Anthony beside me blushing with embarrassment.

"We made it." I laughed as I took out my phone began recording the people in the car.

"Dude!" Anthony slapped my arm, "—really?!"

"What? It's for the memories." I said.

"Not the memory that I'm looking forward to cherish." Anthony rolled his eyes.

"I didn't know you were into boys!" My mom said.

"I'm not!" He replied.

Then a person came running towards the car, it was my other self coming to _'Antoinette's'_ aid. We hid behind a trash bin and witnessed him shoot a blue dart at Adrian, but that didn't stop him, it only gave him an erection.

Adrian threw himself on top of 'Antoinette'. "THE ORANGE DART YOU IDIOT!" He screamed and it made me and my mom snicker. Other Ian shot the right one this time that made teen Adrian fall asleep.

"Not funny." Anthony crossed his arms in frustration.

We left the scene and went to Anthony's old place, hitching a ride in the back of a truck. We reached the suburban homes along a quiet street with only a few cars driving on the road behind us. Behind the houses was the sun slowly sinking behind and turning the day into night.

Then a loud rev coming from a car was suddenly heard from one of the houses. I pulled my mom and Anthony to where the sound was coming from: a dark grey _1989 Ford Probe_ backed out from its driveway with four passengers in it. Upon closer inspection of the people inside, it was teen Anthony who was driving with the other Anthony beside him and at the back seat was my other self and Melanie.

"Hide!" I shoved the two behind a bush just as the car drove onto the road, "Remember what Teleporting Fat Guy said?" I asked, "—we must avoid interfering with this event and let it play out smoothly, or else bad things are gonna happen."

We watched the car turn left around a corner, "We must find Adrian before he messes this up." My mom interjected.

"How can we catch them on foot?" Anthony asked. I turned around and searched for any vehicle nearby but there was not a car in sight, nothing but the wide road in front of us.

"I don't know!" I said. Suddenly, an object with wheels fell from the sky and hit the ground hard, bouncing on the asphalt then tipping to its side. It was a two-person tandem bike.

"I remember that!" Anthony smiled, "If only I had those rocket boots again." It was the exact same bike that Melanie, Anthony and I rode when we went to teenage Anthony's place with rocket-powered boots.

"Yeah, me too. It'll do." I picked up the bike and rode it, taking the front pedals.

"Who's gonna ride in the basket?" My friend asked.

My mom quickly hopped on the second set of pedals, "Definitely not me!" She laughed.

"Fine." Anthony rolled his eyes and sat on the basket in front of me, squeezing his butt into the opening, "Jeez this one's tight."

"That's what she said." I made an immediate comeback, "Now you know the struggle is real." I gloated, "On my count, we pedal after them. In three, two, one!" My mom and I started pedaling but still found it hard to balance ourselves, "Whoa shit!" We tipped to our side and fell on the road.

"Ow! That hurt" Anthony cried after he fell, still stuck to the basket and unable to get out.

I pushed the bike upright again with Anthony still on it, "Again!" After this attempt, we were able to ride smoothly and follow where the red car went. We were sweating heavily as we pedaled after them while also struggling to maintain balance.

But at last, a few feet away from us was the grey car chasing the white van. "Faster!" I yelled and we moved in closer.

We watched the action unfold again, only this time in a different perspective.

The other Anthony went out of the window of the Ford Probe as it chased the van, grabbed on the roof and pulled himself out. And once he was out, he crawled to the hood of the car and yelled at the driver, the car went even faster shrinking the distance between their car and the van. He launched himself from the car and onto the rear door, fastening his fingers on the roof of it. Then suddenly one of the door burst open, revealing the other evil Adrian.

"ANTHONY WATCH OUT!" Other Ian shrieked. The villain shot a dart on the chest of the hanging man, "ANTHONY, CATCH HIM!" The Ford Probe sped up to catch the slowly fainting Anthony but Adrian grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him in then threw him inside the van, "NOOOOO YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Adrian flipped them the bird, took out something from behind him before tossing it on the road, unrolling it and revealing a set of spike strips.

"Whoa spike strips!" I yelled and banked the bike away from the spikes and onto the sidewalk while we chased them. But it was too late for the car as it ran over the spikes, bursting all of the tires into pieces and emitting a loud hiss.

The other me stepped out of the car and sprinted after the escaping van, but it was obviously impossible to catch up to it on his feet.

"ADRIAN YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He exclaimed. Then Adrian threw out a bunch of banana peels, making him slip on one and fall down on the ground.

We went past them by riding on the sidewalk concealed by the darkness of the night, discreetly getting away without being noticed.

"We gotta get to the donut factory." I said, we distanced ourselves from them and proceeded to tail the white van by following every turn it made.

I was catching my breath because we have been pedaling for more than an hour trying to keep up with the van. My mangled shirt was now soaked with sweat and my legs were tightening. I was on the verge of getting cramps but I kept on kicking.

"What's the matter, buddy? Getting tired?" Anthony asked as he sat on the basket.

"Yeah." I was catching my breath and tasting the warm sweat drip into my mouth which was kinda gross.

"Aww poor dude. Keep cycling, bitch!" He roared with laughter then leaned backwards and placed his hand behind his head like a man on a vacation, adjusting his butt on the basket.

"Douche." I said under my breath, "Mom? You alright?" I asked.

"Never better." She said and by the looks of it, there's no hint of her sounding tired.

* * *

After an hour of cycling, asthma attacks and falling over, we managed to follow the van to the exact place where the raid will be occurring. We parked in a dark alleyway while the van went deeper into the group of buildings.

"We're here." I said, taking out my inhaler and using it, "Find Adrian, the one we're after." I said.

"Can you help me get off?" Anthony extended out a hand, "I'm stuck."

"Aww poor dude. Help yourself, bitch!" I laughed at him as he struggled to get off the basket. _Instant karma._

Anthony grunted as he desperately pulled himself out of the small container and his struggling caused the bike to fall sideways and taking him with it.

"FUCK!" Anthony yelped. My mom and I snickered at the sight of him rolling on the ground still attached to the bike, "Help me!" He pled with puppy dog eyes.

I sighed, "Fine, only because you're my best friend." I said before grabbing hold of his arms and putting one foot on the bike for leverage. My mom held on my waist, "PULL!" We pulled hard on his hands, and with a few more efforts he popped off the basket like a cork then rolled on the dirty and wet floor.

Anthony stood up and his shirt even dirtier than it was before: all muddy and wet, "Thanks, man." He wiped off the dirt from his face. "Where's Adrian?" He asked.

Then a door creaked from behind us, we turned around and saw a glimpse of the person going inside, but I was only able to see his legs and arms as he walked inside the door fast: black sleeves and shorts. _It's gotta be Adrian._

"It's him." I blurted out. We rushed to the door and opened it only to find it locked from the inside, "Damn!" I punched on the door.

"There's gotta be another way." Anthony said as he looked for other entrances, "There! Through the window!" He pointed on a window just above the large trash bin. It was left wide open, "Give me a boost." Anthony said. I cupped my hands together and let my friend put his feet on it before raising him up to the window until he had managed to get inside. A few minutes later the door opened.

"It's about time." I said.

"Be quiet, there's a chef in there, we don't wanna get caught or anything." He warned.

We found ourselves in a kitchen with only one chef on duty. We ducked under the counter and avoided the chef as he moved about the place. In front of us were two big metal doors with small round windows on it, just swung shut as if someone has gone through it.

"He must've gone out there." I mumbled and crawled to the door, gently pushing it outward to peek inside: there was a party going on inside with all the guests dressed in formal attire, suit and ties and cocktail dresses. The place was decorated to the bone as everywhere I looked there were white streamers hanging on the ceiling, ornaments hanging on the chandelier. A large cake was at the front of where the guests were sitting, on stage and beside a newly-wed couple enjoying their married life. Dozens of waiters served the party guests drinks and foods, with the host entertaining them by telling them jokes.

Among the crowd of people was Adrian making his way across the hall.

We went inside, avoiding eye contact and tried blending in among the crowd, but obviously we wouldn't really blend since we were wearing ripped and dirty clothes. However, it never bothered us, we just continued anyways since that it's not a big deal and the matter at hand is bigger than just 'fitting in'.

"Avoid any conversations and just go across the room." I said and they nodded.

We circled around the place by walking beside the walls and trying not to attract attention. Until a sound of a spoon clinking on a wine glass silenced the crowd.

A man no older than twenty five wearing a tuxedo and holding a wine glass stepped on the stage next to the couple. He then raised his wine glass up and said, "A toast to the newlyweds!" The others did the same and the man began saying his speech and we resumed going through the place.

Then the main door of the place suddenly burst open, a man wearing a black tank top and jeans stepped inside carrying a Nerf gun and began shooting everywhere.

"DIE YOU DUMB BITCHES!" He yelled as he showered foam bullets inside.

It was then that I realized that it was other me.

"Shit!" The three of us scampered behind a pillar while my other self humiliated himself, firing his gun with closed eyes as the guests.

"Talk about _Déjà vu_." I mumbled while we watch him go apeshit.

Melanie called his attention but pulling on his elbow, "Wrong room." She said.

Ian turned red with embarrassment and began apologizing, "Sorry, my bad!" He backed out and shut the door.

"C'mon!" I dashed across the door before it opened again. Other Ian returned to pick up the bullets he shot out. "Damn it!" I jumped then dove under the table to avoid being seen.

"Uh, have a happy honeymoon, you two." I heard him say followed by the door being closed again. I crawled out of the table and joined Anthony and my mom in going after Adrian.

We were able to make it across, "That was a close one. I completely forgot about that wedding crash I did." I scoffed.

Something moved in the corner of my eye, I saw it going in the back door of the donut factory. We quickly followed him, behind the door were metal stairs where footsteps ascending up were heard. We didn't think twice on following it. We quietly walked up the stairs and used the lights of our lightsabers to illuminate the dark stairwell.

I heard the front door of the factory blow open. It seems like other Ian's attack was set into motion as well. There were screams and yelps of goons as they fought them.

Following the footsteps led us to the top floor where there were gangways suspended above the huge mixing bowl in the room. On the floor below was other Anthony and teenage Ian held captive by the other Adrian, the ones who will be rescued by Melanie later.

I spotted the Adrian we were chasing, watching over his other self as he taunted the tied down Anthony. Then the door burst open as the other me stormed inside, preparing for a showdown.

"What a beautiful show! Too bad I'm gonna sabotage it." Adrian prepared himself to jump on other me and attack him.

"Not on my watch, bitch!" I ran at Adrian with my weapon drawn. He jumped back on the platform and clashed his sword with mine, we began to fight the same time the other us were fighting downstairs.

My heart raced as I blocked his powerful attacks, our swords crackling and sparking purple as they met and bounced off each other.

Adrian shoved me away and raised his blade overhead before bringing it down on mine, "HOW—MANY—TIMES—DO—I–HAVE–TO—DEAL—WITH—YOU?!" He exclaimed as we fought. He swung sideward and I bent backwards and watched the blade fly over my chest.

"Adrian! Please stop!" My mom cried.

"Stay out of this, Sharon!" Adrian yelled then shot a dart at my mom.

"NO!" I locked swords with my brother as I watched as the dart fly towards my mom.

But then a green blade swatted it away. "NOBODY DOES THAT TO MY GIRL!" Anthony joined in and let out a battle cry.

"The more the merrier." Adrian pressed a button on his hilt and another blade came from the other side.

"Whoa!" I dodged as he swung the other side, clashing it with Anthony and resulting in a three-way battle.

Meanwhile downstairs, our other selves were fighting as well.

My mind and heart was racing, the battle was more violent than before as Adrian was skilled with swordfights. He was quick and agile, doing front flips and balancing himself on the railing while he fought us.

Our combined strengths were no match for his.

Adrian caught me off guard and kicked me away. I flew and hit my head hard on the pipe causing my sight to go woozy. I fixed my eyes on my brother who focused all of his attention to Anthony, red met with green. My friend was ducking and dodging the fatal strikes of Adrian and almost got his arm cut off if it wasn't for him reacting quickly.

My brother fought Anthony with no remorse, punching his wounds that weakened him to his knees. He yelled in pain and Adrian began kicking him to the ground countless times. He then picked up Anthony by the neck and forced him to lean over the edge.

He choked him, "So nice of you to _drop_ by."

Anthony's eyes widened and Adrian did the unthinkable… he pushed him over.

"ANTHONY!" I watched my defenseless friend get thrown off the gangway, "NOOOOOO!" I cried and stumbled to my feet, preparing my sword again.

"One half of Smosh gone, one more half to go." Adrian twirled his double ended lightsaber.

"Y-you—" I sobbed, "—piece of shit!" I dizzyingly stood up and gripped my sword tightly and released all my anger at my brother that was bottlenecked inside me for a long time. Powered by rage, I became as ruthless as him as we fought.

Then an orange portal opened on the roof with Anthony falling through and landing back on the platform, stifling his scream. I searched for where it came from and behind my mom was Billy holding the portal gun.

Back downstairs, the other us were reunited and had left the place along with the other unconscious teenage us and Adrian.

Me and my evil twin fought again and this time it was more intense as anger empowered me to fight against him. Anthony lunged at Adrian, but he knew that was coming, it was another three-way battle. Adrian swung his weapon at me but only hit the metal railing. He kept taking steps forward and I stepped back from him until we ended up balancing ourselves on a long beam with no handles to grab on to.

Adrian sliced the beam where I was standing then did a stomp, making it drop below me and taking me with it.

"Ian!" Anthony dove forwards and grabbed my hand, preventing me from the two-story drop, "Hang on!" He began swinging side to side until I was able to reach for the beam. But my hand slipped, and my weight was too much for him to handle as my hand began to slip from his grasp.

I caught Adrian sneaking behind Anthony and raising his sword over his back.

"LOOK OUT!" I threw my lightsaber at Adrian like a boomerang, my blue blade spun around till it met his red blade, bouncing off and saving Anthony. My sword flew upwards and impaled itself in the ceiling. Adrian was temporarily disoriented and backed away. Anthony swung me sideways till I firmly got hold of the metal beam that I used to pull myself up.

"You alright, dude?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He grunted, catching his breath and exhausted from fighting.

"You need to stand down" I said upon seeing his injuries, "—you've fought too much."

"Ain't no way I'm gonna let my best friend get killed." He stood up protesting.

"C'mon man, look at you, you look way worse than I do."

"Still ain't gonna leave your side." He said and he was serious about it. I can't even imagine that after all he's been through, Anthony will still fight by my side…and that's what I call a true friend.

"You're stubborn, dude." I sighed, "Billy, get me to my sword" I said to the boy and he shot a blue portal on a wall then shot the other end on the ceiling next to my weapon. Anthony then charged at Adrian and fought him again. I went to the entrance and reached form my sword on the other side. Once I had reacquired it, I jumped inside and landed behind the dueling Adrian and Anthony, catching my brother caught off guard, then the two against one battle resumed.

His foot snaked around mine and knocked me off balance. I fell again but an orange opening appeared on the floor and brought be back on the beams. Anthony was beaten by my brother and ended up hanging on a different beam. His grip was slowly slipping as my brother closed in on him.

Then he let go as another portal opened below, transporting him behind me.

"Together." I held out a hand and Anthony shook it.

"Ready when you are." He replied.

"NOW!" We leapt from beam to beam and charged at Adrian from both sides. He locked his dual blades with us and created even more brilliant sparks.

Anthony jumped from the below the belt slash while I ducked from the other blade. Then Adrian aimed his power glove at me with his ring finger raised. I rolled out of the way as an orange dart was launched from the barrel of the glove, ripping a hole through my shirt but luckily not hitting my skin.

The action packed fight resumed with Adrian standing between us, turning back and forth to block the attacks. Then he managed to hit Anthony's knee with the tip of the sword, ripping the tendons on his kneecap.

"AAAAARGHH!" Anthony shrieked and my brother kicked him off the ledge, he fell down but another portal sent him beside Billy and my mom.

_ He couldn't fight any longer, not with that broken leg of his._

"Mom, take care of Anthony, it's between me and Adrian." I said. My friend tried standing up but found it hard to. "I'll be fine, dude." I assured him.

"No he won't, because I'm gonna kill him right now." Adrian cut in.

"I'd like to see you try." I taunted him, "C'mon, bitch." I stood mid-squat while keeping my balance on the thin steel bar.

"Gladly." My brother smirked then moved closer, spinning his double-ended lightsaber. He began by using his sword like he was fencing, poking the tip at me and I jumped backwards and avoided it. Then the intensity was stepped up as he started to use both ends by pivoting around. Every counterattack I did made my heart skip a beat, it was always a close call but I was able to fend it off at the last second.

In one lucky and swift move, I was able to slice off the other end of his sword that made the blade malfunction and render it useless. Adrian was surprised what had happened.

"Now, we're even." I said.

Adrian yelled and had gone crazy. He began hitting from every angle. Our blades locked again and he punched me in the face, my head flew backwards with the impact of his fist and the feeling of numbness quickly forming on my nose. He stepped backward and went back again, this time I was able to get revenge by giving him a left hook.

He looked back at me; his nose was bent sideways with blood flowing from the nostrils. It was like fighting your own reflection…_your evil reflection._

He punched me and I punched him until we got dizzy from our actions. He was gradually growing weaker and the same goes for me, but he still did not back down. I was able to swat his sword from his grasp and also mine, sending the two hilts falling down.

The sword fight had turned into a fist fight, Adrian swung his arm but I ducked and retaliated by hurling my fist into his gut. He leaned over me when his arm wrapped around my neck trapping me into a headlock before he began elbowing my back countless times making me scream in pain.

I wrapped my arms around his waist then shoved us off the beam.

"IAN!" My mom screamed. As we fell, we were still throwing jabs at each other in various places but mostly aiming for the face.

Then a portal opened and sent us safely rolling on the ground bellow. We rolled on the dirty around that separated us from each other's grasp. I stopped rolling halfway while Adrian kept rolling further until he came to a complete stop.

I rose up to my feet and so did my brother. "Remember this place, bro?" Adrian said.

"So I guess it all ends where it all began." I said.

"Uh huh, quite poetic, right?" He replied, "Only this time, I won't lose."

**Anthony Padilla**

Ian and Adrian fell but Billy managed to transport them safely to the ground, the brothers engaged in another brawl afterwards.

"Billy, get us down there, quick!" I said. Billy shot a portal on the wall and shot another at the floor below opening a shortcut. I limped to the opening with the help of the boy and Mrs. Hecox and the next thing we knew we were back downstairs watching the fight between the two.

The twins were able to find their own lightsabers and were once again engaged in a brutal sword fight. Adrian gained the upper hand again and kicked Ian into a pile of boxes and hitting his head on the wall knocking him out cold.

He approached the unconscious Ian to finally put an end to his life.

I limped closer to sneak up on Adrian but he felt my presence, he turned around and began attacking me by swishing left and right. I felt my knee hurt as I jumped away from his slashes, he shoved me on the wall and held the glowing blade close to my neck.

Then a thick block of wood was swung at Adrian's back, disorienting him.

"DON'T YOU DARE HURT ANTHONY!" Mrs. Hecox held the block in her hands.

"Stay out of this, mom." Adrian snatched the wood and pushed Ian's mom down on the ground.

"Hey! That's our mother you're talking to." Ian suddenly called out; he was standing and the center of the room with lightsaber in hand. The brothers' battle resumed again but I noticed that Ian had grown weak. He was catching his breath while he fought his brother, completely exhausted from the lengthy showdown. Then Adrian quickly beat Ian by severing his hands.

"AAAAAARRGGHHHHH!" Ian screamed, staring at the stumps where his hands were supposed to be.

My jaw dropped in shock, Ian was defenseless.

"That was easy." Adrian gloated. He raised his sword sideways and then brought down the blade, slicing off Ian's head clean off his shoulders.

I gasped. His head flew a few feet away and rolled on the ground, the expression on his face was horrible: mouth hanging open and irises were rolled upwards.

"NOOOOOOOOO! IAN!" I exclaimed watching his lifeless body fell down hard on the ground, twitching uncontrollably.

_My best friend is dead._

"Now it's your turn." Adrian walked towards me and played with his sword, prepared to attack.

"No..." I whimpered.

"There's no stopping it An-BBLLLLGFGGH!" Adrian suddenly shook violently in his place, gnashing his teeth as he trembled until finally collapsing on the ground face first. Stuck to his back was two darts that had a long wire connected to the power glove that was worn by a man in the shadows.

"STUN GUN, BIIIIIITCH!" He did an air hump before stepping out of the dark.

I could not believe my eyes… it was my best friend, _IAN HECOX_, alive and well.

"Ian?!" He helped me up and I immediately hugged him, "I thought you were dead, buddy! I-I saw him cut off your head!"

He smiled, "I'll let you in on a little secret." We walked closer to the headless Ian torso when its chest suddenly opened revealing that it was just a robot.

"I knew my Ian avatar would come in handy!" Charlie was inside the torso and was controlling the robot. "—so much for using it to raid the booze cabinet."

"The old switcheroo." Ian smirked.

"You gave me a heart attack." I sighed and put my arm on his back relieved that he wasn't dead.

"Oh God, I thought Adrian killed you!" Mrs. Hecox threw her arms around her son and kissed his cheek.

Then the wall of the building suddenly exploded. Teleporting Fat Guy burst through it while driving the DeLorean, making us jump by surprise. He went out the driver's seat and joined us, "So now that Evil Adrian has been defeated, I guess it's time to go forward into time and stop him from taking over Alloy Digital."

"Yeah." I said as we restrained Adrian to a chair.

"You go ahead, Billy and I will watch over Adrian." He said.

Ian, me and Mrs. Hecox joined hands and Ian pressed a time period in his glove.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

Ian clapped his hands like Dora, "BACK TO THE FUTURE!"

I looked at the date on the glove's little screen:

_11-24-2014;15:00_

Ian pressed the big blue button on his glove and here we go...ONE LAST TIME.


	21. Chapter Twenty: The Final Showdown

**Ian Hecox**

Everything around us vanished as soon as I pressed the button, and the next thing I knew is that we were traveling a wormhole that would send us to the future. The feeling of excitement and anger mixed inside me, angry that my own brother would cause all of this mess and excited because of what's waiting for us at the end of this wild adventure...

_ We just wanna go home._

I blinked my eyes and the wormhole turned into a sidewalk and my feet were able to feel the solid concrete ground again. Hopefully this would be the last time we would go through time because all those swirly wormholes are making me dizzy.

I brought up my watch: _November 24, 2014; 3PM_, exactly one week before the great battle of Smosh and the date Sgt. Anous said that Adrian will take over the company.

We walked to a park trying to find our way to the building. "We gotta move quickly and stop Adrian." I said.

Then I noticed that my best friend was limping behind us, Anthony was skipping because of his knee injury.

I stopped running.

"Dude, why did we stop?" He asked while leaning on a tree then concealed his wound with his hand.

I saw the large gash near his knee that exposed the burnt flesh, "We shouldn't have taken you with us," I helped him sit on the park bench, "—look at you, you don't look alright."

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." Anthony tried standing up then groaned in pain, he clutched his wound.

"I don't think you're fine." I said before helping him sit down on a park bench, "You've had enough, you should stay here."

"There's no way I'm staying here." He protested.

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Look around you, Ian." He said and I looked around, there were teenage girls staring at us and whispering something to their friends. They were everywhere, scattered around the park and slowly closing in on us like a pack of hyenas.

"Fangirls." I whispered. Everything went quiet, we could only hear the soft rustling of leaves and their footsteps growing closer, "Okay, slowly put your arms on my back and we run from them."

"What's the matter? They look harmless." My mom said.

"That's what they want you to think." I mumbled as we stayed quiet. Anthony placed his arm around my shoulder and I helped him stand up, "When I say we run, we run." I whispered to the two and they agreed. "RUN!" We ran with my best friend hanging on our shoulders who was hastily limping.

Then the fangirls squealed and gave chase, "IAN! ANTHONY!" They yelled as they were trying to catch us. We struggled to drag Anthony but his weight was slowing us down. I glanced back and the fangirls were going crazy, one of them even had foam coming out of her mouth like a rabid dog.

"Jeez! That's scary!" Anthony shrieked and was struggling to keep up with our pace.

Across the street was _Alloy Digital_, but the only way to get there is going across the wide road of busy cars. The stop light for the pedestrian was red.

"WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!" Anthony panicked. The girls were gaining on us, screaming our names and saying, _'HAVE OUR BABIES!'_

"Yeah we can." I aimed my glove at the button that was for the pedestrian crossing and shot an arrow. It was a bullseye, hitting the button and making the cars stop and clearing a path for us to cross the road.

We struggled to aid Anthony in walking but every hop he made he let out a shriek of pain, and to make matters worse… _we only got 120 seconds to cross it. _

"I don't think I can make it!" Anthony cried while clutching his injured leg, he stopped, "Go on without me." He leaned on a fence, completely exhausted and pained.

"I can't leave you here." I said, "You'll get torn to shreds!"

Anthony suddenly realized than and looked even more terrified, "On second thought, I'm coming with you." He wrapped his arms around us again and limped but fell on the ground after his knee gave way.

Then a random idea came to my mind, "Y'know what? Just get on my back and I'll get you across" I offered him a piggyback ride.

"No that's gay!" Anthony shook his head, "You remember what we talked about last time, right?" He looked disgusted. But it was the only way we could make it faster across the street.

I shot him a sarcastic smile then took my mom's shotgun, "So you want me to shoot you in the foot again?" I said while aiming the weapon at his foot.

"WHOA Whoa!" Anthony jumped as I cocked the shotgun, "Fine!" He hopped on my back and wrapped his arms around my neck, "—I'm gonna regret this."

"Oh you definitely will, SMILE!" My mom took out her phone and snapped a picture of us doing the piggyback ride, "This is going on twitter, think of all the fans fainting when the hashtag #ianthonyisreal trends!" She laughed.

"Mom!" I grunted as Anthony's full weight was on my back.

Then the screams of the girls reached our ears the moment they saw my friend hopping on my back, "IANTHONY CONFIRMED!" They squealed.

"I believe it's time to go." I sprinted on the road with my best friend on my back hanging on like a baby ape on his mother. His weight was not too much but heavy enough to slow me down as I ran.

The engines of the cars roared as the timer counted down to the last twenty seconds.

At the front door of the building was Sgt. Anous, "SGT. ANOUS! OPEN THE DOOR!" I yelled. I felt chills run down my spine as we dashed across the road...or maybe it was Anthony's boner rubbing on my back? Gross.

"I'm regretting this already." I cringed.

The policeman wasted no time and pushed open the door opening the inside of the building and allowing us through.

_ 10 seconds..._ And we're still in the middle of the wide road.

I saw my mom had just gone inside, I used my feet and propelled us off the ground diving inside the door exactly the same time the stoplight went green. The cars zoomed off as soon as it happened, almost hitting one of the pursuing girls. We flew past the doorway and landed on the tiled floor of the lobby. As soon as we had hit the ground, Anthony let go of me and slid further away, grunting in pain.

"That was close." I rose up. The policeman had shut the door, locking the fangirls outside. They were desperate to get us, they stuck their faces on the glass like a hoard of hungry zombies trying to claw their way in.

"Are you guys alright?" Sgt. Anous helped us up, "Anthony! You're hurt!" He saw the burns.

"I'm fine." Anthony took out his scarf and tied it around his knee, "What time is it?" He asked then let out a shriek right after he tightened the knot.

As far as I could remember, Sgt. Anous said that Adrian infiltrated the building during his night shift.

* * *

I faced the large window that gave me a beautiful panoramic view of the city, watching the orange sun slowly sink behind the buildings and the busy cars beneath were now turning on their headlights. I felt the comfortable leather of the big office chair and adjusted my butt on it. I sighed in pleasure as the chair was too comfy enough to make me fall asleep within a matter of seconds.

The sun was no more and the moon was rising up in the starry night, its light was more brilliant than before giving the city a spectacular bluish tint.

Cold sweat trickled down my forehead, my heart raced and the tip of my fingers began trembling. I sunk a little lower on the chair. My hand reached for my belt and felt the round ball attached on the hilt of my lightsaber strapped to my side...

_ It must end here._

The door behind me opened with a long creak followed by footsteps.

"Hey bro." A voice spoke up from behind me which I recognized, "—time to go on a retirement."

"I'm too young for retirement." I replied in an accented European voice.

"This is a forced retirement." The man said.

Then I slowly turned myself around, linking my fingers together like a villain in the movies. I rotated on the office chair to face him, the dimly lit room vaguely illuminated his figure: black jacket over a black tank top, black cap and shorts and a face that looked exactly like mine.

My brother.

He was in for the shock of his life, his eyes widened as soon as we came face to face.

"I've been expecting you." I said in a dark tone. Adrian took a step backward and detracted his lightsaber emitting the red glowing rock candy blade from both sides.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" He said.

I stood up, heart pounding in my chest as I circled around the table in front of me and walked closer to him. He backed away with fear etched across his face. My hands reached for the hilt of my sword near my belt then pulled it out.

Adrian flinched, he was ready to attack, "You ready for this, bro?" He taunted.

I looked him in the eye and never showed any signs of fear and worry. My grip on the wooden hilt of my sword loosened, I dangled the stick and then finally dropped it on the ground, creating a thud that echoed in the quiet office.

"I'm not gonna fight you." I said then slid off the power glove from my other hand and dropped it as well.

"What?" He stuttered, still refusing to stand down.

"I'm not going to fight." I replied.

"Pussy." He taunted.

"It's not worth it, Adrian," I said, "—you will only cause more harm to yourself." I pled, "Please."

"Bullshit." He raised his sword overhead while I just stood there and watched the glowing blade being brought down on me.

"STOP!" My mom interrupted, making Adrian freeze. She stepped out from the dark corner of the room.

"Mom?" We both said. She stepped closer till we could see her face. She had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Adrian, stop this madness, please." She cried.

"What are you doing here?" Adrian said.

"I'm here to say," She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

My brother made an almost inaudible gasp, "W-what did you say?" His eyes were fixed on our mother.

"I'm sorry." She wiped her tears, "—for everything." She stared directly into my brother's eyes, she was overflowing with sincerity, "I shouldn't have given you up for adoption, it was all my fault." She bowed her head and cried.

"You never loved me! You only loved Ian!" Adrian said.

"You're wrong, Adrian, I love you as much as I love your brother."

Adrian sniffed, "Then why did you give me away?" He tried to hold back his emotions that he had locked away for a long time.

"I was in debt and did not know how to raise you two." She continued, "I tried putting it behind me but I can't, and as a mother it hurts me more that the agency won't let me have you back. It had scarred me all these years." Her words were falling on top of the other, "Don't you ever think that I have never thought of you everytime I look into Ian's eyes." She cried, "I would always cry at night thinking about my lost son." She said, "I love you, Adrian, both of you."

Adrian lowered his weapon and took a step closer to her, "You think that your 'sorry' would make it all better?" He lunged at her.

"Adri—" I jumped, but my brother's arms were instead wrapped around our mom, hugging her tight. Adrian couldn't hold back any more that he let his feelings get the best of him, he cried, bawling loudly as he tightened his embrace around her.

He cried, "I'm sorry." This was the first time I saw him cry, and what made him bawl out more is that our mom gave him a warm and tight embrace filled with love and compassion. He let his guard down and laid his head on her shoulder feeling the moment, reunited with his mother that he had longed for. "I love you too."

"It's okay sweetie, mommy's here." She gently ran her fingers through his hair.

"I-I just need a mom." He stuttered.

"I'm here now." She comforted him as she cried as well, "We're a family again and I promise to never let you go."

That last word made me cry, I wiped the tears from my eyes with my sleeve.

"I will never let you go, both of you." She said.

Adrian let go of her and faced me, he looked at me with eyes swelling with tears and asking for forgiveness. I instantly felt that his feelings were true the second he hugged me, expressing his regret over his actions.

"It's alright, bro." I said, hearing him sob.

"I'm sorry, bro." He sobbed, "Will you ever forgive me?" He rubbed my back.

"Why wouldn't I?" I said, "—and I'm sorry too." I pat his back, "—for the kidney." I chuckled while crying.

"It's nothing." He scoffed, "After all, you are my brother." I scoffed and hugged him tighter. Then a different set of arms went around both of us, it was our mom's.

Then I noticed Anthony was standing behind us, also wiping tears from his face. "What the hell are you crying at?" I said to him, "Come over here!" I motioned him to join us. Anthony limped towards us and enveloped us in his wide arms, and we welcomed him into the group hug.

"It's over." I sighed, "After three adventures it's finally over."

"Yeah." Anthony agreed, "I'm gonna miss it though." We were still locked in the group embrace.

"Me too." I have to agree, all three adventures were epic and fun even though I 'died' a lot, "Let's see if the writer can write us in his spinoff series." I added.

"Fingers crossed." My best friend replied.

"Hey Adrian," I spoke up. I felt him make a soft 'hmm' reply, "—ready to go back home to finally celebrate our birthday?"

Adrian laughed, "Hella."


	22. Chapter Twenty One: Back to Reality

**A-dizzle Padilla**

I opened my eyes and bright sunlight entered my eyes, I winced and searched for the source: it was coming from a window beside me. I looked around and found myself staring up the ceiling and lying down on a soft bed in a room filled with Pokémon and Smosh posters.

_It's my room._

I smiled and sighed upon discovering that the house was not reduced into a pile of rubble. My heart leapt with joy as a single tear came from my eye, flowing down the side of my face and falling on the soft mattress under me...

_ Everything is back to normal._

I rose up and tried to recall what had happened: We fought against Alloy Digital, Ian's family made up because Adrian had a change of heart. But after that, I couldn't remember anything else. I tried to connect the dots on how I ended up here all of a sudden but couldn't. I scratched my head then noticed that the dirty white cast around my arm was gone, "Whoa." I looked at my arm, moved my fingers and squeezed it with my other hand, it was no longer broken since I didn't feel any pain that should've stung by now.

I blinked, there was no throbbing above my left eye and it wasn't swollen that had me half blind. There was no stinging sensation was on my knee where the large scorch was. I looked down and also found out that I wasn't wearing my green mangled shirt, I was in my tiger pajamas instead.

"Huh?" I hastily ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror: a man with wavy short hair with a thin but muscular built stared back at me, mirroring the same expression of confusion as mine... _Well, it IS a mirror._

No wounds or bruises were on my face, not even a single scratch. All I saw were my rosy cheeks, thick bushy eyebrows and the trademark _butt-nose. _

"What the?" I gasped, shocked that there were no traces of battle scars.

Then a laugh came from the hallway. I dashed out of the bathroom following the roar of laughter and finding out that it was Ian, sitting on the couch wearing his favorite blue pajamas, enjoying the morning cartoons. And by the looks of it he was also scratch-less and wound-less.

Ian looked at me and smiled, "Oh, hey man, you overslept again." He greeted.

"How did I get into my pajamas?" I asked.

"What? You were in those since last night." Ian replied.

"No I'm not. We were back in the office." I said.

"Office?" He sounded confused.

"Alloy Digital."

"Our parent company? And what about those wounds?" The bowl haired man said.

"You know, when we fought each other back at the park?" I told him.

His forehead wrinkled, "_'Fought'_?"

"_The Battle of Smosh_?" I continued, "We fought donuts and Adrian brainwashed you to lead them against us. He even destroyed our house." I said.

"What?" He scoffed, "First of all: Adrian has been dead for four years, he died in a gruesome motorcycle accident." He said firmly, "—secondly, do you see any part of this house destroyed?" He stretched out his arms and I looked around: everything was back in order and not even a frame out of place.

"Well of course, because we fixed the timeline because Adrian messed it up." I said.

"How could he mess it up? He's been dead for four years!" Ian chuckled.

"No he isn't!" My heart thumped, "—he survived, he went back into time and nearly prevented Smosh from existing." I argued.

"What do you mean 'went back into time'?" He shook his head.

"We traveled through time after him!" I walked around in circles trying to defend my stance.

"How is time travel even possible?" Ian said, the expression on his face was a mixture of confusion and frustration with his eyes fixed on me.

"The power glove and the DeLorean!" I was losing my temper.

"A DeLorean?" Ian's eyebrows scrunched closer, "You've been watching too much _Back to the Future_."

I raised my voice, "Don't you remember? You were a wanted man, we got chased by police, caught by Adrian then we went back to the past to turn everything back to normal."

"Whoa, me? A wanted man?" Ian's eyes widened, "Okay I know I'm wanted… by the ladiez."

"Don't push it, man." I flatly said.

"Then why would I be wanted?"

"I don't know, I guess Adrian framed you. Then we ran from the police and I threw pee bombs at them." I walked around in circles trying to rack my brain of the things that had happened to us.

"Pee bombs?" Ian fixed his hair and I nodded, "Sounds cool."

"It was cool!" I scratched my head, "—and hella funny." I snickered, "Then we went to the future and chased evil you back to VidCon 2012." I said.

"Evil me?" He stood up and shook his head, dumbfounded by the things I claimed, "Okay, so you're telling me that I was a wanted man, then we were chasing my dead brother through time and now you're saying I'm evil?" He asked.

"Well, yeah. You turned evil because we had a fight or something." I explained.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He was completely lost from all my ranting.

"Then we were on the run from Alloy Digital because your brother had taken over then we teamed up with Link and the others to fight against him." I said, "You almost have beaten the crap outta me."

"You know I would always beat the crap out outta you, I'm buff." Ian 'flexed' his arms.

"You wish, bitch." I brushed it off, "Then we fought an army of donuts." I continued, "—mutant donuts from our _Food Battle Game_."

"You've probably been playing that game too much that you've got _gameritis_." Ian held my shoulders, "—like that last time we both thought the floor was lava."

"I'm not joking!" I ranted, "Then we returned to 2003 and chased down Adrian."

Ian scratched his head, "You completely lost me bro, are you sure you're fine?" He placed his hand on my forehead, "I have a friend who can help you like the others with _'Special Problems'_" He said.

I slapped his hand away, "I'm not crazy!"

"Maybe you gotta lay off the strawberries. They say that it gives people wild hallucinations."

"I'll show you!" I shouted, ran back to my room and tried to find my lightsaber. Ian followed suit, barging inside my room and finding me ransacking my things.

"What are you looking for?" He asked.

"I'm looking for my lightsaber." I said.

"You have a lightsaber?!" Ian blurted out, hinting his eagerness to see it.

"You idiot, we both have them!" I said while still searching my nightstand.

"No seriously, what are you trying to say?"

"We engaged in a battle and you gave me a large burn on my chest." I ripped open my pajamas and showed him my chest.

"DUDE!" Ian covered his eyes, "Really?! I'm not into gay porn!" He shrieked.

I looked at my chest and to my surprise there was nothing but my bare chest. The large gash caused by Ian's lightsaber was nowhere to be found, not even a scar. "I-I'm not crazy, I swear."

"I really don't know what you're talking about." He tried comforting me but I didn't acknowledge it.

"I swear I'm not fooling around." I bawled and began to hyperventilate and tremble. I was having a panic attack again. I broke down and cried, in the brink of losing my mind, "I'm not crazy!"

Ian held both of my shoulders to stop me from panicking, "Anthony, calm down!" He said.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down." I said, "What the hell's happening to me?!"

Ian raised both of his hands showing me that he was innocent and clueless. I continued to flinch and look around, desperate to prove him wrong.

"Anthony!" Ian shook me, "Maybe it's just a dream."

"IT'S NOT A DREAM!"

"Sometimes dreams could mess with our heads and get us confused on what is real and what is not." He explained.

Then it hit me, Ian was right, sometimes our minds can play tricks with us. I was completely destroyed by the fact that everything from the beginning: the daring stunt, the crazy twists, the friendship feuds and the epic adventure, all of it, was_ just a dream_

It shattered my entire being into pieces, none of it was real.

"I-It c-can't be." I stuttered, "I-it can't be a dream. It felt all too real."

"So was my dream of touching Jessica Alba's left boob." Ian added, "I also thought that was real."

Tears began to uncontrollably flow down my cheeks, I found it hard to accept that all our hardships through the adventure were all in my head.

"Oh God." I leaned on a wall and slid down, burying my face between my knees and rocked myself, crying my eyes out.

Ian placed his hand my back, trying to comfort me. "Don't be upset, man. You know I don't like seeing you like this." He said.

"Maybe I am crazy." I wiped my cheeks.

"No you're not and I'll tell you what, let's go outside and stare at our neighbor's bouncing boobies."

I sniffed, "Okay." I stood up and he pulled me to the back door. He slid the glass door open and the bright sun went into my eyes, making me wince at it. My eyes narrowed and saw silhouettes of people standing in our backyard, as if waiting for our appearance.

"Wha—" I stuttered.

I felt Ian getting closer to my ear as his breath brushed against the side of my face.

"Got ya, bitch." He whispered.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN and ADRIAN!" The people greeted. I checked my watch:

_November 30, 2014_

_ Ian and Adrian's birthday._

There was a long table on our yard with different types of food from appetizers to main dishes. I checked on the people near the table, seeing them made me sigh in relief:

It's the guys, _Billy, Charlie, Link, Connor, George Washington, Sgt. Anous, ManSpider _and the other Smosh guys.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" I yelled at Ian then choked him. I was on the verge of losing my mind because of him making me think if the adventures were a dream or not.

"You tricked me last time and I thought that I should return the favor." Ian gagged, "Karma's a bitch."

"Well played." I let go of his neck.

"I got you good, didn't I?" He said, "You should've seen the look on your face, you were like: 'Oh God, what's happening to me?! I'm going crazy!'" He mocked and I accepted defeat.

"Vengeance is mine!" He cheered.

"But it happened, right? Everything?" I asked, "The pee bombs and raiding the company?"

"Yeah, everything. Even the part when Adrian tried to take advantage of you." Ian cackled and I shuddered, "And the writer's not a sick bastard that will make the readers feel empty inside after a great story." Ian said.

"How did I end up on my bed?"

"You're probably gonna hate me but I accidentally hit you with a tranquilizer dart when we were hugging."

"WHAT?!" I checked my pajamas and I had no underwear, "—and how the hell did I end up in my jammies?"

"I put you in it." He firmly said.

I shook my head in disgust, "So you've seen my penis?!"

"Well, you've seen me doing the helicopter with mine." He snickered.

"True." I sighed, "How did you make my wounds go away?"

"Link did it." He said and I immediately understood.

"I thought I was gonna end up in a mental hospital." I was relieved, "Happy Birthday, Ian." I greeted and hugged him.

"What about me?" A voice spoke from inside the house. We turned around and it was Adrian who went out from the glass door, frowning.

"Come here." Me and Ian embraced him which he responded with an 'aww'.

The others gathered around the table and took their seats as Ian's mom brought a large three-layer chocolate cake with mouthwatering leaf-shaped frosting along the sides. The top most layer had a picture of Ian and Adrian on it with a number candle forming a _'27'._

More guests arrived then we sang the twins a happy birthday. They celebrated and after that before eating like there's no tomorrow. I got dibs on the taquitos.

"Ian! Adrian!" Mrs. Hecox called. The twins turned to her. She placed two gift wrapped boxes at the center of the table, one for Ian and one for Adrian, both came from her.

The brothers wasted no time and ripped open their respective presents. Adrian got a black gaming laptop with flame decals on the cover.

"Sweet! Just what I wanted!" Adrian stood up and embraced his mom and kissed her cheek, "Thanks mom!"

Ian opened his and his face sparkled with joy and so did mine. It was a special edition _Nintendo 3DS_ with a beautifully drawn _Super Smash Bros_. character roster on the blue cover, drawn in a way that they were ready for battle.

"Thanks mom!" Ian joined in the hug then we did too, turning it into a large group hug.

**I-dawg Hecox**

We formed a circle around Billy, he had a blindfold on and was equipped with his purple lightsaber and a smile etched on his face. In front of him was a cow suspended from a tree.

"Go Billy!" We cheered, "You can do it!"

Charlie was on his shoulder, "Alright you poof, just keep walking and I'll tell you when to strike."

"Okay." Then Billy ran.

"NOW!" Charlie yelled and the boy slashed his sword, hitting the cow on the belly and spilling its guts... _Candy guts._

"CANDY!" Connor dove first and scooped as many candies he could then shoved it into his mouth even though the others still had wrappers.

The party was fun, the games, the celebration and the first time I got to celebrate it with my brother properly.

I watched the guys enjoy the moment, seeing them having fun was just enough to make my heart melt, these were the people who stuck with us till the end and never lost hope in us. _My mother_, who was there to support me even though I would always make dumb decisions. _Billy_, whose stupidity never ceases to amaze me, he even saved our asses everytime. _Charlie_, the drunk guinea pig who became Billy's guide through everything and whose booze addiction led us into the building. _Connor_, the assassin who always appear out of nowhere and saves the day, not to mention his habit of stealing George Washington's teeth. _Link_, the elf from Hyrule who always has a plan B. _ManSpider_, the dude skilled at throwing multiple bombs and flip six birds at once. _George Washington_, the president-slash-ballerina with his deadly porcelain tutu. _Sgt. Anous_, the donut-crazed racist cop who became our ally after almost killing us in the previous instances. And _Anthony_, my best friend who was always by my side and never lets me down, my partner in crime.

"Hey bro." Someone called. Adrian stood beside me, "One question though," He took a sip of his drink, "—why didn't you just stop me from preventing our mom in giving me up? I mean that could've resolved everything easier." He asked.

"Well that's because, you're my brother, I chose to change other things rather than fixing that one event because I wanted you to live a normal and happy life." I sighed, "But then you ran away from home when we were teens, so I guess things fell back into place and the same things played out?" I shrugged.

"Aww, that's some deep shit bro." Adrian placed his arm on my shoulder. The feeling of being reunited with my family was just amazing. All was well.

"Happy Birthday!" A man with a thick beard showed up in front of us, it was _Ryan Todd_, our director. We smiled and shook hands with him.

"Great party you got here." He said, "How fast time flies, last time I remember is that I was watching you lip-sync to the Pokémon theme song and now look, we're here celebrating Smosh's 9th year."

"Yeah, me too, it's amazing." I replied.

"Next year will be our tenth anniversary, so we need to begin the year with a bang." He said.

"Yeah, we should." I scoffed.

"Speaking of which, you got a great script ready?" Ryan spoke up, "We'll pitch your ideas tomorrow."

My heart skipped, I completely forgot about writing it. Shit.

"Ian?" Ryan snapped his fingers at me and I snapped out from my trance, "You got a video idea ready?" He repeated.

"I-I…s-sure, it's gonna be epic, I assure you." I lied. _Holy shit, I'm dead._

* * *

I stepped out the front door and sat on the front porch staring at the empty road in front, thinking about the video that I still haven't begun writing on. I just sat there completely out of ideas.

I just played on my new 3DS, playing the new _Super Smash Bros._ on it in case some random idea might pop up in my head.

"Hey, man." Anthony appeared and sat beside me with his drink in his hand, "What are you doing out here? The party's in there."

"I need some air." I said flatly, keeping my eyes glued to the screen.

"You sure?" He asked, "—because I know you're not really out here for air. Tell me, what's wrong?"

"What are YOU doing out here?" I returned the question.

"I'm waiting." He gulped his drink.

"Huh? Waiting for what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"In case Teleporting Fat Guy or someone might show up telling us that something had gone horribly wrong and then take us away into another adventure. It's kinda usual." He said.

"Don't worry, I fixed the timeline." I said, still playing my game. "Everything's fi—"

BANG!

A brilliant flash of light came from the road followed by three explosions. A silver DeLorean materialized from it and drove on our yard running over our newly trimmed lawn. The driver's side door opened and same familiar man wearing a white sleeveless shirt with blue shorts and a power glove stepped out and walked towards us.

"Now what?!" I groaned, putting away my game then standing up, "What is it this time, Teleporting Fat Guy? Someone is out again for revenge? We left something back in the past? What other things that needed fixing?" I was frustrated.

He stopped right in front of us surprised from what I said, "What are you talking about?" He wrinkled his forehead.

"This would probably be the part where you will tell us that something had gone wrong."

"Nah, I'm just here to party!" He said, "Happy Birthday Ian!" He pulled me into an awkward embrace and I felt his sweaty arms wrap around my shirt which made me cringe.

I pulled away, "So, there's nothing wrong this time? Everything's back to normal?" Anthony asked.

"Yeah." He nodded, "Everything's back in ship shape. Now bring me the ladies!"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yep." He answered, "It's all over."

"Great." I cheered, relieved that it was all over; we've had enough of this crazy and wild ride for the meantime. All loose ends have been tied, all problems have been resolved and there's no one to interrupt our birthday.

"So—" TFG interrupted, "—may I come in?"

"No." I said and he frowned, "I'm joking! Of course!" Me and Anthony stepped aside and let him through, "—enjoy the cake." Teleporting Fat Guy went inside the house and leaving the two of us outside.

I smiled, "Well, what did I tell you? Everything's alright." I said to my friend.

"Finally, we could go back to our videos and enjoy life in peace." Anthony sighed.

"Damn." I sat back down and buried my face in my hands.

"What's wrong bro?" Anthony asked.

"I'm having trouble thinking of a new video idea." I scratched my head.

"Don't worry, man, we'll think of one. I'll help you." Anthony replied.

"Thanks man, and to tell you the truth, I couldn't have done it without you. These crazy adventures won't even be successful without you. I would've been rotting inside the cellar the first time Adrian captured me if you weren't there." I said.

"Okay dude, that was kinda gay." Anthony laughed, "But yeah. Same goes for me, you were always there to save me." Anthony replied, "Come to think of it, were like brothers."

"Hell friggin' yeah." I grinned, "Brothas fo life!" We high fived.

"Yeah, and that time evil Adrian turned us against each other was just crazy. It kinda reminds me of the second _Captain America_ movie. Y'know, the one where his best friend got brainwashed then was forced kill him?"

"Yeah." I agreed, "—pretty much like that." It was creepily similar.

"I can't imagine two best friends trying to kill each other." He said.

I agreed and looked around, watching the moon up the sky and the cars driving on the road. What happened to us was great, even though there were times that we nearly died and did daring stunts, but it was amazing. From being chased down by the police to fighting against each other... It was just awesome.

"Yeah." I sighed, then resumed playing on my game when suddenly, something came up in my mind, "I think I'm having a brain blast."

"Who are you, _Jimmy Neutron_?" Anthony joked then I gave him the unamused look.

"I think I have a great video idea." I smiled, "It's gonna be epic."

"Lemme hear it." He sat down and drew closer.


	23. Epilogue: THE EPIC CONCLUSION

**Ian Hecox**

Anthony's eyes met mine and he was asking me to trust him. I trust this man with my life, he never let me down when I needed him the most but I couldn't shake the feeling of nervousness, it was still a risky thing to do...or at least how I consider it.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah, it'll be done before you know it." Anthony assured me.

"Take it slow man." I said but Anthony suddenly forced it in, making me scream out loud, "FUCK! It hurts!" I bellowed.

"It's a little tight." He pushed it in further and I gasped in shock.

"Is it in yet?" I asked but the stinging pain was still there. I yelled as my friend continued to shove it in, "OW! DAMMIT! C'mon!" I kicked on the ground.

"It won't hurt later." He groaned as he kept going.

I screamed, "Maybe you should've put some lube to slide it faster!" My face scrunched in agony, I couldn't bear it.

"You okay?" He grunted, placing a hand on my shoulder and grabbing it tight.

"Just keep going...AAAARGGH!" I shrieked, even though the pain turned into a dull sting, my friend suddenly pushed it even more, making the pain worsen than it should've been. "AAARGH!" I cried.

"I'm almost there." He said. I tried inching away but he pulled me closer.

"Saying 'almost there' won't hel—AAAAAGH!"

"It's in!" Anthony cheered, "It's a little tight but it'll do."

"I know how you feel, man, squeezing my arm in this tight thing fucking hurts." I stared at the arm-mounted cannon that he had just shoved my hand in. The cannon's inside was too small but Anthony managed to put it in... I couldn't feel my hand, it just throbbed inside.

_ What? You were thinking of something else, weren't you? You dirty pervert. _

We were outdoors; it was a cloudy morning, nothing but grey skies. Beside us was the wide river of the city of Sacramento and across it were the tall buildings of the city extending out for miles.

Anthony walked away from where I was, going for a few feet then turning around to face me. He was angry, staring at me with furious eyes. I did the same equipping myself with a large helmet that snuggly fit my large head.

The cold winter morning sent shivers down my spine, it was the wrong time to wear really thin clothes, and it made my nipples hard as a rock, although warm sweat still flowed down the side of my face as I was nervous of the inevitable...

_ We were going to fight each other again. _

"Are you ready?" He raised his fist and armed himself with white large gloves.

"Are you?" I said grimly and prepared myself, adjusting the cannon on my hand and cocking it, nearly cutting off the circulation on my arm.

Everything went quiet as I could only hear the cold breeze and my heavy breathing. Then a sound of deep techno music started playing, making my heart race at the beat of it. Anthony twitched and his stare was more intimidating than ever.

_ This is it..._

I looked around, me and my friend were surrounded...by cameras.

"ACTION!" Ryan yelled.

**_ "I'm the king this is my kingdom so show respect!" _**Anthony started singing along with the beat, moving around his spot wearing red long sleeved shirt under a denim overall sporting a fake mustache and a large red cap on his head with the letter 'M' printed on it...

_ Mario_.

**_ "'Cause you look to me like some stupid Tron reject!"_** He did hand gestures as he yelled. I glanced at my own costume: light blue thin layer tights with large cartoon-like boots a large blue helmet and an oval-shaped arm cannon...

_ Megaman_.

**_ "Oops I leaked a video to TMZ last night of you making love with your own cannon fleshlight!" _**Every move he made was captured by the camera.

I tilted my head and responded,_ "**Look up 'sellout' in the dictionary and see Mario, got your face on everything just like a NINTEND-HO!"**_ insulting his costume and the fact that Mario is always used by Nintendo to promote almost everything.

**_ "Keep copies of your game in the bathroom for-"_** I brought out an old _Super Mario Bros._ N64 game cartridge. **_"—when I need to wipe."_** I wiped the plastic cartridge between my butt the exact time I said the line, then Anthony's face scrunched in disgust.

The cameraman went closer to my face and I grabbed his camera with my free hand, **_"Peach always gets kidnapped 'cause you're too busy plumbing Luigi's pipe!"_** I made a docking movement by sticking my finger inside the barrel of my arm cannon and going in and out.

Anthony groaned in disgust but shook it off, **_"You try to roll hard—" _**He began doing ape movements,**_ "—like your name is Donkey Kong! But through your girly-ass tights we could see your tiny dong!"_**

_Did he just insult my penis? Oh no he didn't! _

**_ "We've been fighting for years! Don't need another player—"_** He continued to sass me, **_"-now run along with Sega and be another failure!" _**He gave me thumbs down.

That made me more excited for my lines.

**_ "You're a pedo-stached, preening, pussy, plumbing fucking prick—" _**I did an air hump and the helmet on my head bounced from my movements, **_"—on the roster you're the reject—"_** I completely let out my ADHD during the shoot as I was enjoying the rap. **_"—that no one ever picks!" _**

**_ "It ain't my fault you're always losin' your chick—"_** I was rapping like crazy and the lines just perfectly slipped out of my mouth without any stuttering or wrong tune. **_"—SORRY!" _**I grinned.

**_ "Your princess is in another castle—" _**I raised my voice,**_ "SUCKIN' MY DICK!" _**I fired foam balls at him.

**Anthony Padilla**

**_ "Your princess is in another castle, SUCKIN' MY DICK!" _**Ian fired foam balls and all of them hit me squarely in the chest.

"Anthony, now!" Ryan gave the signal and I threw myself backwards directly on top of a soft cushion that will break my fall.

The chorus of the song began blasting through the speakers.

**_ "We start the party out best of friends—" _**The fond memories of the crazy things that happened to us returned to my mind as I flew backwards. It made me remember that Ian's party was always interrupted whenever we tried to celebrate it,**_ "—and you think the fun never ends." _**The woman who was vocalizing in the background while Zelda sang the chorus gave me Goosebumps.

It was Ian's video idea and I composed the lyrics, based on our wild mind-numbing, three part adventure. The song was also about the _Super Smash Bros. _logic. I mean, they are best friends, why would they try to fight each other?

**_ "We used to be tight like brothers—" _**It was the time when me and Ian had a fight in 2015 that almost severed our friendship completely.

**_ "—by the end you wanna murder each other." _**That was the time when the Ian and I, the best of friends, were forced to fight against each other...

_ The Battle of Smosh._

The song was just perfect and it came out amazing and EPIC.

I fell on the soft spongy mat and laid there, hearing the song again for the second time and it still made my hair stand on end. Somehow I pictured myself fighting against Ian in a cinematically-executed lightsaber battle.

It brought those memories back again: the epic fights, the time travel, the struggles of having a best friend whose brother had been seeking revenge, the time when he even tried to make out with me and the struggles of having a dumbass of a best friend...but I'm thankful for having Ian, I never regretted the time we met back in sixth grade and did that compost pit project. In fact, if that never happened, _Smosh_ would've been nothing but a mispronounced word.

**_ "We start the party out best of friends,_**

**_ And you think the fun never ends,_**

**_ We used to be tight light brothers,_**

**_ By the end you wanna murder each other"_**

"And cut!" The director said over his megaphone, "That was great guys!"

"That's a wrap, people!" Ian cheered, then everyone on set began clapping, they were all glad that we had done this awesome shoot.

I stayed on the mat, feeling the soft surface on my back, staring at the skies and relieved that everything was the way it was, but I'll surely miss it.

"Hey, enjoying the mattress?" Ian's face showed up in the corner of my eye, wearing his large blue Megaman helmet. He extended out a hand to pull me up.

"Maybe." I scoffed and took his hand, "Nah, I was just thinking—"

"About what?" He pulled me to my feet.

"—about how dangerously awesome time travel is. First thing we knew, Smosh never existed and we were running from the law, then suddenly we were at war against each other at the park." I said.

"Yeah, I can't believe it's over, though." Ian took off his arm cannon, creating a pop sound. Damn that really was tight. Then his eyes suddenly welled with tears.

"You crying?" I asked.

"No, I just got something in my eye." He said.

"Really?" I smiled and put an arm around his shoulders, "Don't lie to your best friend." I said.

"It's just that—look at them." He pointed to the people in front: it was Billy and the other guys who fought with us. "I'm just gonna miss those days."

"Hey, they're not going anywhere." I said, "Maybe someday, another weird-ass adventure will be waiting for us, but not the life-threatening kind."

"I know, but it was a hella fun." Ian said as we walked towards the others. I agreed.

"Awesome shoot guys!" Billy remarked, jumping up and down in excitement with his propeller hat spinning. The whole gang applauded as they had watched the entire shoot, "It's perfect!" He cheered.

"That, my dear Billy, is what we call _SMASH RAP_." I smiled.

"The song was as epic as the battle!" The boy jumped.

"It was made BECAUSE of the battle." Ian replied, patting the boy's head.

"Oi Billy!" Charlie the drunk guinea pig peeked from the boy's pocket, "Would you mind? I'm still in here and your jumping's been driving me nuts."

"Then why don't you get outta there?" ManSpider asked and peeked inside Billy's pocket.

"I kinda like it in here and besides, Billy's been feeding me chocolate everytime!" His raspy British voice replied.

"So that's where the chocolate bars I put in my pocket had gone to." Billy was completely oblivious that Charlie was in his pocket the entire time since the battle. The two had created a bond, kinda like an _odd couple dynamic_, Charlie always got Billy's back and Billy got his, it was an unusual chemistry. _The drunk and the moron._

"Hey Link, what do you think of the video shoot?" I tapped Link on the shoulder but he didn't budge. He was staring at something in the distance. I took a glance at what he was looking at: a woman wearing a beautiful gown, blonde hair and green sparkling eyes... _Princess Zelda._

"What are you waiting for, hero? Go get her!" I pushed him forwards and he walked up to Zelda and began to flirt with her, "More like the lover of Hyrule."

"Does anyone have any jelly donuts?" Sgt. Anous suddenly spoke up, "I'm craving for a jelly donut!" He whined.

"Sgt. Anous!" Someone called him and it came from behind us. We turned around and it was Adrian with a mutant jelly donut by his side, "Will this do?" He asked.

"It sure will!" The policeman took out a gummy snake, "Gummy snake plus donut equals a happy Sgt. Anous." He ran towards the donut.

Adrian said to the donut, "I would run if I were you."

The donut shrieked and dashed away from the pursuing cop, "I'm gonna get ya, you delicious donut!" He chased the donut like a dog, on all fours and tongue sticking out. We laughed at watching them run around the place.

"Still looks so wrong." Connor cringed.

"So how about we finish this with an epic high five?" I asked Ian.

"Hell. To. The. Yeah." Ian smiled wide and we prepared for the jump.

"WAIT!" George Washington interrupted, he was touching his mouth.

"What is it now?" Ian rolled his eyes.

"I losht my teeth again." The president said. Then I noticed Connor was avoiding my stare, feet tapping on the ground and tying to whistle through his mouth that was oddly filled with something.

"GODDAMMIT CONNOR!" George ran after the assassin. Connor roared with laughter while he was being chased, playing with the wooden teeth in his mouth. He climbed up a pole and stayed there to avoid being caught by the poor toothless president, "—giff me my teeth backh." George demanded.

"Uh-Uh." Connor shook his head.

George was pissed. He walked away from the pole and went back, carrying an axe with him, "You won't get down? I'll bring you down!" He yelled, "MUSHT CHOP WOOD!" He swung and we all yelled, stopping him from chopping down the pole.

"Don't do that, Let me handle it." Ian said before shooting a foam ball at Connor and hitting him squarely in the face, making him spit out the teeth. The dentures fell down and George waited down below, opening his mouth to catch it.

He caught the teeth with his mouth then used his tongue to fix it back into place, "Tastes kinda funny." He chuckled, "Got that native flavor."

"EEEEWWWW." We all shivered in disgust, that's the grossest thing I'd ever witnessed... Next to 2girls1 cup, though. That shit's hella nasty.

Ian turned to face me, "Now can we do the epic high five?" He complained.

"We should do this for the guys."

"'Guys?'" Ian asked.

"The readers who joined us in going _Into_, _Through_ and _Against Time_!" I explained.

"Oh." He suddenly realized, "—thank you so much dear readers who have stuck with us and read some poop jokes and a bunch of misleading stuff, hashtag Ianthony." Ian laughed, "—time for the EPIC HIGH FIVE!"

"Let's do this!" I said.

"In one—" He counted, "—two, THREE!" Ian and I jumped from the floor together I watched him smile with excitement, he raised his hand for the big one and I did the same.

Our hands met for the epic high five and we froze in mid air. Then we stayed up in the air unable to move our bodies and the last expressions on our faces were frozen while everyone around us were like statues.

"What the hell's going on?" I struggled to talk through my closed mouth. "I. Can't. Move."

Ian replied, "Usually we would go back down after a few seconds." He talked through his clenched teeth, "—but this is ridiculous."

"How can we get down?" _This is getting kinda trippy._

Ian mumbled, "Just after the readers finish reading 'THE END'."

**FIN.**

"DAMN YOU AUTHOR! DAMN YOU!"


	24. BONUS: Fun Facts about the Smosh Trilogy

**WARNING! HERE BE SPOILERS!**

**Most of you people haven't read the other two books and I suggest you read those too. They're not that long.**

**You missed a whole lotta adventures if you've skipped the others!**

**I tried my best to make this trivia section Spoiler-free, but there are still some, so read at your own risk!**

* * *

Here are some trivias of my Smosh Trilogy! I hope you'll enjoy them!

-You probably have noticed that it's always Ian's character that is the villain, it's because I can't imagine Anthony being an evil guy, I always see him as the good guy between the two while Ian always plays the douche/bad guy well.

-To me, when someone makes a sequel to a movie, I will always anticipate a part 3. I dunno why but I always think that a trilogy is the best way for a series to get remembered in history, take _Back to the Future_ for example or _The Godfather. _So when I began writing the sequel, I planned ahead, thinking of the third and final book's plot.

**Book One: SMOSH INTO TIME**

\- Originally titled '**WHAT'S A SMOSH?**'. I became a fan of Smosh just last summer and found out that these guys are my type of comedy. The concept of the story has bugged me since June last year, like "What if Smosh didn't exist? Will I be a fan? What would their lives be if they never met each other?"

-Being a hardcore fan of the _Back to the Future trilogy_ that I wrote a continuation of it (that I'm still not yet done writing, you could check it out too in my profile if you like), I thought to myself, how about borrowing some elements of time travel and incorporating it into a Smosh fanfic? Paying tribute to the BTTF franchise (2015 is BTTF's 30th anniversary! And I'm still waiting for my hoverboard.)

-I am Ianthony shipper, BUT I only ship them as friends. I wanted to write a Smosh fanfic that will go in a different direction and unlike any other. The way I see it, Ian and Anthony's friendship in real life is like Doc and Marty's, best friends through thick and thin.

-After thinking about that idea, I watched ALL of their Smosh videos (ALL OF IT), including Anthony's '_draw my life_', looking for some period in their lives that they have met that I could bring in the time travel aspect, there was one line Anthony said in his video, "If Ian and I never met, I wouldn't be here." Or something like that.

-This storyline followed their 'HOLY CRAP! 2 BILLION VIEWS!' That they showed that the Smosh characters are real people and not themselves. EVERYTHING began from that video because of their intro: "Smosh? What's a Smosh?"

-I started writing it last September 2014 but published it in October, hence Ian having a relationship with Melanie and so did Anthony and Kalel.

-'What's a Smosh?' Wasn't clicking on Wattpad and so I renamed it 'SMOSH IS GONE?'. Ask **Midnight's Haze** and **BlazeCat221**, they were the first ones who discovered the fanfic that still had its old cover and also had really short chapters that lacked description. (THANK GOD MY WRITING HAS IMPROVED!)

-I LOVE to procrastinate and I am impatient. When I was writing this book, everyday I would write a chapter and post it at the same day without even checking the grammar or spelling... So my early readers were receiving everyday notifs about the book. Yeah, I wrote Book one in a Span of 17 days, ONE CHAPTER PER DAY.

-The Factory raid was inspired from their old 2009 video: _'A Very Hairy Situation with Billy Mays'_ especially them using Nerf guns.

-One scene was inspired by 'STUCK IN A TOILET!' Only this time, roles were reversed and the situation just got a little... Shittier.

-The color of the darts were from the Portal video games, Blue and Orange. And the viagra joke was from their 'IF MOVIES WERE REAL 2: The Matrix'.

-If you have watched the movie 'Get Smart' starring Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell, the laser scene was inspired from there.

-I listened very carefully to Anthony's draw my life video, so carefully that I used some parts of it: The Compost Pit project and Anthony giving Ian a ride home.

-It was supposed to be JUST ONE BOOK, but you guys liked it and requested for more. It was supposed to end with them peacefully celebrating the twins' birthday and I was gonna move on writing other fanfics, THANK GOD YOU ASKED FOR SEQUELS! I wouldn't be able to create a sweet-ass fan art or write that misleading van scene. (Wink wink)

-So you requested me to end it in a cliffhanger so I did... BACK TO THE FUTURE STYLE.

-After coming up with the third book's title, I changed it into 'SMOSH INTO TIME' to be consistent with the series. To signify that INTO is their first time going to the past, THROUGH is that they are going through time again and AGAINST is that they are racing against time to save everyone including themselves.

**Book Two: SMOSH THROUGH TIME**

-Originally titled 'A SMOSH THROUGH TIME' I dunno why but the title just came to me, little did I know that this will help me come up with the third book's title.

_-'Sequels are hard to write, you have to go in a different direction.'_ That's one of the problems I faced, I had to think of a new flow of story to keep the readers entertained.

-This mainly focused on their friendship, so they were fighting constantly in the book and the villain's plan of severing their ties.

-While writing this one I thought of pulling an incredible twist that will shock the readers. It was then I had just watched 'WORST TWIST ENDINGS EVER!' And upon hearing that one line, it gave me an idea! _(READ BOOK 2 TO UNDERSTAND THE TRIVIA.)_

-The twist had to be REALLY unexpected, the bad guy had to be under their noses the entire time, and that's when that one character came in, boom! I knew he's my guy. (The people who read the sequel will know who he is.)

-Melanie was supposed to be in this book, here's the unpublished part that I saved as a draft:

From the Chapter: '_THE COMPANY_' where they meet Mari.

_**Ian Hecox(POV)**_

_In the room, at the end of the hallway was filled with Smosh merch, from tshirts to figures. But what caught my attention was a huge picture frame of me and Anthony hanging on the wall directly in front of us. I walked closer to the huge picture of me and looked at it, my wide grin and my bowl hair, below the frame has words, saying:_

_IAN ANDREW HECOX (1987-2014)_

_ANTHONY PADILLA (1987-2014)_

_YOU WILL BE MISSED_

_I could not believe my eyes, I took a step backwards and collapsed to my knees, cupped my face in my hands and cried heavily. Anthony stood beside me._

_"No, please God no! It's impossible! This isn't happening!" I bellowed._

_"So this explains the 'Smosh is Gone' writings in the house." I heard Anthony was crying too._

_"What?" I sobbed. _

_"We went into the rundown house and saw our rooms with the writings on it." _

_"Mari? What's going on in here?" I heard a voice say from outside the door, a familiar voice, the one I have missed the most. I turned my head to the girl standing by the doorway: the same wavy blonde hair, the same sparkling brown eyes, and that pouting lips..._

_My Girl._

_Melanie's jaw dropped in shock, she was speechless. _

_"Mel?" I whispered, my bloodshot crying eyes met her concerned ones. _

_"Ian?" She sobbed. Mel hurriedly dashed to my side and held me up, her hands touched my ears, my nose, my hair and my beard._

_"I-Ian? I-Is it really you?" She mumbled._

_"Always, baby." Her fingers touched my lips, her eyes watered with delight and her wide open mouth became a huge smile._

_"Oh my God! It is you!" She crashed her lips onto mine, which was the best feeling ever. It was the same ones that I kissed a while ago: warm and full of love. I felt her tear stained cheeks touch mine, our emotions overflowing. _

_She pulled away, "Oh Ian, I missed you!" Her eyes were now bloodshot too, ruining her mascara and we kissed again. Then I felt Anthony tap my shoulder, I guess I was too much into the moment that I forgot the matter at hand._

_"We have to find that glove now." I rose to my feet, with my hand wrapped in Mel's own. I turned to Mari..._

This should've been the future they arrived in, both of them were dead by 2015 but that would've led to a different Smosh through Time, and besides I don't know what role Melanie will play in the climax so I altered that part, rewrote it and just stated that they had a fight.

-After the twist, that character was supposed to be no more but I knew PipPish will be upset about it so I thought of a way to bring him back. THE OLD SWITCHEROO.

-Vidcon 2012 was my climax from the start so I watched their live VidCon 2012 performance, taking their lines into the story.

-That Ianthony moment in the gangways had been in my mind since I started the sequel, to show how much one cares for the other.

-I watched all six of the _Star Wars_ films back to back at that time then decided pay homage to the iconic Lightsaber, the people who have read the whole trilogy will know what Object I'm referring to.

-Writing the last chapter: 'Smosh is in Trouble', I had the third book's plot already thought up, so why not interrupt the ending AGAIN with a bunch of creepy-ass guys in black?

**Book Three: SMOSH AGAINST TIME**

-The third book has to be EPIC and grand in scale, so grand that the villain is aiming for something bigger (Alloy Digital) and not just to erase Smosh from existence.

-Ever since I turned it into a trilogy, I knew that he has to be the ultimate villain, he just has to. Because he is able to confuse the guys, knows the duo's weaknesses.

-Since he was the ultimate bad dude, he has to hit where it hurts the most such as making things go boom and abduction of the people.

-I don't know why but I thought that when I was writing some certain parts, I thought, "How about I make it a little interesting?...And misleading?"

-I have previously written in an earlier chapter that Ian and Anthony wished that the bad guy would be revealed earlier. That was my original idea, but when I was writing more, I decided to hold him back for the big surprise.

-This book is the last, so why not have two villains?

-Originally, Antoinette was supposed to be The main villain's assistant but I found no motive on why she'll be holding a grudge against the duo.

-I watched "WE NEED FRIENDS" then decided why not _?

-Another early concept is that part with the brain switcher was supposed to be in the first book since it should've been was just one book.

-Actually, I was having a writer's block when I was beginning to write 'against Time'. But when Smosh released that amazing song, there the ideas flooded again.

-Running Gag: the Exploding Toilet. It has been in the three books.

•In the gas station (INTO TIME)

•Breaking in The Neighbor's house (THROUGH TIME)

•Leading the goon into a trap (AGAINST TIME)

-The viagra dart is also a running gag. But the third only expressed it by means of Link making a potion out of it.

-I was supposed to kill off _ for good and have him return in the end of the book where everything's back to normal but I knew that it would piss off some of you guys so I revived him.

-The line "to make the readers feel empty inside." was shots fired at some writers who write that heart-ripping kind of endings.

-One element from _Back to the Future Part II_, where Marty McFly was finding the sports almanac while avoiding himself heavily inspired that one part of the book.

-The book cover/Battle of Smosh artwork was inspired by the _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ poster.

-That Smosh song that was in the ending fueled the entire production of this book, without it I wouldn't have continued writing "against time". (And I'm listening to it right now as I'm writing this. XD)

-I liked the _ character so much that he had become the savior of the two, always there to save them. And I also game him Jedi abilities.

-The Smosh games people were supposed to be shown earlier and should've had a bigger role, but I decided to focus more on the ensemble cast.

-While writing the book, I was playing _Portal 2_ with my brothers, so I thought: "How about including it in the final act?" It made things way more epic and action packed!

-Running Gag: George Washington's dentures.

* * *

**I'll be adding more trivia in the coming days because I'm trying to recall some of them! xD**

**The teaser of the spinoff series will be coming up next!**

**Also check out my new book: "NO ESCAPE" it's a Five Nights at Freddy's fanfic. I'm going back to horror but it's gonna be short, maybe just 5 chapters?**

**Don't worry! I will NEVER STOP WRITING Smosh stuff, that FNAF story had been bugging me for a while so I had to write it down. xD**

**-Migz**


	25. SPINOFF SERIES SNEAK PEAK!

They were the most helpful in the Battle of Smosh, and I've gotten to like Billy and Charlie so much that I made a spinoff series about them!

Originally, it was only Billy who will go on wild adventures, but it'll be kinda boring if he's on his own. Coincidentally and conveniently, I created a bond between him and Charlie in the third book, and eventually they formed a weird dynamic duo.

**"THE ADVENTURES OF BILLY AND CHARLIE"**

_**In the aftermath of the Epic Battle of Smosh, everyone's lives are back to normal. The heroic Billy is back to his boring life of school work and chores which is a bummer. He misses the action. However, during the time when they were on the run from Alloy Digital, he had made a friend, Charlie the drunk guinea pig.**_

_**What will happen when the stupid but adorable boy with a propeller hat teams up with the foul-mouthed, booze loving guinea pig? Hilarious and action packed stuff guaranteed.**_

It will be like a TV show, different plot per chapter. Plus guest appearances of the original Dynamic Duo, and maybe I could write in the new three casts? (Olivia, Keith and Noah)

By the way, what do you think about their addition to Smosh?

I'm gonna be taking a break after this teaser is published, I got an _On the job training_ to finish and I'm serious this time, I probably deserve a break after 7 months straight of writing the trilogy.

I not only need to make the first episode unique but also as good and funny as the original trilogy.

The 'Pilot' chapter will be published on **JUNE 21st, 2015**! ON MY BIRTHDAY! YAY!

Damn, I'll be 20... Goodbye teenage life. Haha

Thanks guys and stay tuned for this upcoming series! It'll be my first collab work too. And I'll probably write more SMOSH SHORTS alongside this. I'm also gonna need to design a new book cover for that one too.

**I MAY ALSO BE creating a brand new, totally unrelated to the original trilogy adventure fanfic for our main dudes. Let's hope that more ideas to come up! xD**

You could send me some suggestions too if you'd like

The Smosh Trilogy will live on...

-Migz :)


	26. Sequel(ish): THE SMOSHTASTIC EXPEDITION

Hey guys! Guess what? There's a new Smoshtastic Adventure waiting for you, and it's **NOW LIVE!**

I don't consider it as a sequel, but the type of Story it will be falls under the category of "Standalone Sequels"

Pretty much like _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. _But I'll still and always consider my original masterpiece as a **TRILOGY.**

I can't stop writing, I think it's my passion to unleash my imagination.

* * *

**_It has been a year since Ian and Anthony have had a crazy adventure, an adventure through time and space that threatened their channel's existence and their own as well. They returned to their normal and boring lives of writing and shooting videos. Come to think of it, they were wishing for one of those events to happen again._**

**_Wish granted._**

**_Being mistaken as explorers, they were tasked by the head curator of the Los Angeles Museum to go on a quest for 'The Golden Flamingo', an ancient treasure that had been missing since the 12th century that is said to grant the owner his innermost desires. The duo, seeing the offer as an opportunity to go on another crazy adventure, gladly accepted without knowing the catch: they aren't the only people looking for it._**

**_Join them along with the Smosh dudes who fought in the battle of Smosh in this brand new adventure that will keep you at the edge of your seat!_**

* * *

Yeah, I may write the "Smosh Fam" in but maybe in a small role, I'm still deciding on it though.

Check out the Intro of the book! It's live RIGHT NOW!

-Migz


	27. SMOSH BLANK TIME TRILOGY TRAILER!

I EDITED A TRAILER FOR THIS EPIC TRILOGY! GO CHECK IT OUT NOW ON YOUTUBE! Just type in:

**SMOSH [BLANK] TIME TRILOGY TRAILER**

There are two versions actually, one Low Quality and one High Quality... so If I were you, I would choose the HD Version for a SMOSHTASTIC VIDEO!


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